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Posted by Mother on 04-25-2006 09:49 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by desertboy
Dear Neversoft how do I pull these 2 girls at the same time

Rohypnol is your friend.

Posted by Vampire on 04-25-2006 10:01 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

Why does the bloody VPN connection to my company always drop out when I am halfway through creating a diagram or a technical proposal? Am I e-cursed and, if so, how do I lift it?

Posted by Neversoft on 04-26-2006 02:05 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Paul Skinback
Dear Neversoft,
When will DVB-H TV be available nationwide, and will it cost to watch on a dvb-h enabled phone ?

The best date I can offer is "Before 2011" which is it's European roll-out completion date, I think.

As for cost... Have you ever seen mobile phone operators offering anything for free? No you haven't, because they're twunts! It will cost, and it will probably cost enough to piss you off and prevent you from watching

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Lord_Gandalf on 04-26-2006 03:54 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

What the hell happened to peoples post count?

Posted by Dwaggy on 04-26-2006 04:15 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Lord_Gandalf
Dear Neversoft,

What the hell happened to peoples post count?

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
waaah why cant we see the postcount anymore waah

__________________

i have sigs off

Posted by Neversoft on 04-26-2006 05:14 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Lord_Gandalf
Dear Neversoft,

What the hell happened to peoples post count?

Answer: Dwaggy happened

Count your power-wanks instead. I'm up to my 7th today

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Prasman on 04-26-2006 06:20 PM:

Dear Neversoft.

Since last nights Windows upgrade XP keeps telling me I might have a counterfitted XP installation...

How do I get rid of it? (without doing the obvious £££)

<edit> thatnks you already answered this in another thread</edit>

__________________
mfg
Prasman
bring back Quality TS

Posted by Xler on 05-02-2006 10:53 PM:

Dear Neversoft,
I can't seem to find a Dallas Mavericks Hat in the state of florida, do stretch hats ordered online, really stretch to fit?

Posted by Neversoft on 05-03-2006 05:32 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Xler
Dear Neversoft,
I can't seem to find a Dallas Mavericks Hat in the state of florida, do stretch hats ordered online, really stretch to fit?

Kind of, but it depends on how big your head is... If you look like a Chupa Chup, you're fucked

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by doctor zoidy on 05-18-2006 08:45 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

Many questions stuffed into one post:

1. What is the best country to live in, after accounting for things like personal liberty, monetary wealth, technological availability, and hot women (respectively)?

2. As a pastafarian, our Most Noodly Lord has decreed that Friday is a holiday, akin to the sabbath of the Judeo-Christian religion. Do you think I would have grounds for demanding the day off when i rejoin the army next week?

3. Last night I had a strange bladder/urinary problem. It felt like I had to urinate every 2-3 minutes, and only a slight stream (less than 20 mL) came out each time. I ended up sitting on the toilet reading for about 20 minutes while having short spurts of urine every other minute. Is this a UTI or should I get checked out?

My Son

4a. Doesn't really play with his toys, at all. He plays with his toy vaccuum and broom, sometimes the toy drill, unplugging and pluging composite A/V cables, and a small selection of Dora toys. Does his lack of play indicate a disproportioned sense of creativity to monotonous tasks, and should I worry that he won't truly enjoy his childhood?

4b. Love Dora the Explorer, won't watch anything else. He has dora toys, a backpack, plays with mom's purse, is left handed, and enjoys country music. Is he my son?

4c. Wont take a bath unless I get in the tub with him, won't even bath with mother. When added to his left-handedness and Dora fetish, should I worry about his early sexual orientation?

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Thats alot of words for someone that sells DVDs out of the back of a truck

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Read zoidys comment for clarification.

Posted by BlueSoulJah on 05-18-2006 09:47 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

I've just bought a Peugeot 206 1.4LX from a car auction and the fucker didn't come with a manual. As such I haven't got a clue how to use the air conditioning. Do you know where I can find an online manual for this car?

Posted by Vampire on 05-19-2006 12:00 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by BlueSoulJah
I've just bought a Peugeot 206 1.4LX. I haven't got a clue how to use the air conditioning.

I'm pretty sure that on that model of car.... you open the windows.

Posted by |V|USTANG_FAN on 05-19-2006 12:38 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Vampire
I'm pretty sure that on that model of car.... you open the windows.

hahahaha

__________________

Posted by Striped on 05-19-2006 12:50 AM:

Dear Neversoft:-

The mrs wants a baby but I hate the little fuckers, ive been pulling out and blarting it in her face but she's getting wise to that, and it's all getting a bit intense, so what do I do?

Posted by Neversoft on 05-19-2006 11:27 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by doctor zoidy
Dear Neversoft,

Many questions stuffed into one post:

1. What is the best country to live in, after accounting for things like personal liberty, monetary wealth, technological availability, and hot women (respectively)?

2. As a pastafarian, our Most Noodly Lord has decreed that Friday is a holiday, akin to the sabbath of the Judeo-Christian religion. Do you think I would have grounds for demanding the day off when i rejoin the army next week?

3. Last night I had a strange bladder/urinary problem. It felt like I had to urinate every 2-3 minutes, and only a slight stream (less than 20 mL) came out each time. I ended up sitting on the toilet reading for about 20 minutes while having short spurts of urine every other minute. Is this a UTI or should I get checked out?

My Son

4a. Doesn't really play with his toys, at all. He plays with his toy vaccuum and broom, sometimes the toy drill, unplugging and pluging composite A/V cables, and a small selection of Dora toys. Does his lack of play indicate a disproportioned sense of creativity to monotonous tasks, and should I worry that he won't truly enjoy his childhood?

4b. Love Dora the Explorer, won't watch anything else. He has dora toys, a backpack, plays with mom's purse, is left handed, and enjoys country music. Is he my son?

4c. Wont take a bath unless I get in the tub with him, won't even bath with mother. When added to his left-handedness and Dora fetish, should I worry about his early sexual orientation?

WOAH! You are a trouble soul aren't you? I'll do my best to help:

1. Somewhere in Scandinavia... Mainly for the hot women, but they're not poor countries either.

2. Feign mental illness, it's easier.

3. It sounds like Cisitis... Drink a large glass of water an hour or so before bed and avoid pissing just after you shot your load.

4a. You don't say how old your son is but I suspect he's a toddler (if he's a teenager, you have problems). I suspect there's either one of two things going off here - either he prefers other forms of entertainment such as TV, therefore you should cut down on the amount of TV he watches or he isn't stimulated enough by his toys, especially if he's particularly intelligent. Try toys that offer a little more "feedback" such as a Zig Zag Zog and educational toys - such as interactive books or a VTech console (the VSmile is particularly good). If you'd prefer not to spend a shitload on new toys, most kids can entertain themselves for hours with little more than a few plastic coins or some crayons and paper. For more information check out anything by a rather genius Brit woman called Dr Tanya Byron and visit (a UK site admittedly) called www.Raisingkids.co.uk

4b. All kids love Dora (and the Backyardigans and Blues Clues) but try and introduce a few "boyish" elements into his viewing... Power Rangers is a good start, followed by the occaisional PG movie that he can watch with you - I know of one kid who loves the movie Zathura simply because the robot makes him jump!

4c. Make bathtime fun! I know I bleat-on about my girlfriends kid but he's the only proper example I have... Get a selection of bath toys and try reverse psychology - on bath night, "threaten" him with not being able to play with his toys in the bath and don't be afraid to get wet when he is having a bath. Be more assertive, tell him he's having a bath, "wont" shouldn't come into it. Don't be worried about left-handedness, even if he turns out to be a murderer or serial rapist (which most left-handed people are) - be understanding and hopefully it wont affect his future power-wanking.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 05-19-2006 12:05 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by BlueSoulJah
Dear Neversoft,

I've just bought a Peugeot 206 1.4LX from a car auction and the fucker didn't come with a manual. As such I haven't got a clue how to use the air conditioning. Do you know where I can find an online manual for this car?

Do you mean it's not working or you simply can't get it to work? My colleague (by a rare fluke) has the exact same car, here's what he says:

"It's a button below the stereo, below the slider, it's the leftmost of the three buttons. There is however, a known issue with Peugeot A/C being fucked* and causing condensation on the inside of the car." I reckon I can also obtain the manual to scan the twat if you want

*Apparently it's something to do with the A/Cs clutch that seizes and causes it not to work - even though all the lights are on.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 05-19-2006 12:07 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Striped
Dear Neversoft:-

The mrs wants a baby but I hate the little fuckers, ive been pulling out and blarting it in her face but she's getting wise to that, and it's all getting a bit intense, so what do I do?

Don't worry about it... Splooge up her chuff as much as you want but once you've finished, stand her up and start tapping her head like a ketchup bottle until she's stood in a puddle of clotted manjuice. You could also try blowing pepper or snuff into her face and hoping she'll blast it out when she sneezes (also feels good on the cock if you're still in her!)

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Striped on 05-19-2006 12:12 PM:

You da man!

Fantastic i'd never have thought of that, a pat of the head it is then

Posted by BlueSoulJah on 05-19-2006 01:56 PM:

Neversoft,

I have that button, but don't know if you have to set the blower a certain way, the temperature a certain way or the level of the blower (it's how it works in a mate's volvo). If you could scan it, then that would be awesome.

Cheers.

Posted by The CandyMan on 05-19-2006 02:53 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
You could also try blowing pepper or snuff into her face and hoping she'll blast it out when she sneezes (also feels good on the cock if you're still in her!)

I beg to differ Neversoft. The last time my wife sneezed while we were otherwise engaged, it felt like my member was being mutilated! Is there another way to enjoy this with out having the feeling of your schlong being cut in two?

__________________

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