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-- While taking a shit (competition) (http://www.vcdhq.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=80578)

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Originally posted by Vampire
I clearly have a phobia about shitting "in public" seeing as I've not had a dump since the competition was announced. I've had the pickled onions, I've had the peperami, I've had the Scrumpy (and Stella and red wine) but substituted the pizza for a lasagne (topped with Tabasco sauce though) and still nothing.

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Haha You stole this from Hustler mag...they used to have this competition every month..........Im not sure if they still do or not

Yes stolen.

Because we all read Hustler and it's impossible anyone else could have the same shitty idea.

We all steal something...
Yea I even have a online supscription that I stole to playboy with zino..
Just got the edition with Maria in it this month..That hot diva bitch from WWE.....
I personaly admire the female anatomy
im a lesbian trapped inside a mans body I dont ever think il ever go straight

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Originally posted by LOLobo
shitty idea.

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quote:

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Originally posted by LOLobo

shitty idea.

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Originally posted by xParaDox
You know something
I cant shit in public either... :/ dunno why
I just hold it until I get home.

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I love going for a shit at work but the fuckers who just come in after you've started jump in to the cubicle next to me and let rip just fucking piss me off. I was fucking there first and i dont want to fucking play "battleshits" - fucking cunts!

I now frequent the 4th floor in the building which has a high girl count and thus the gents is pretty quiet!

quote:

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Originally posted by XXXBoX
I used to be the same! But then I discovered a whole new world having a shit at work! I get a whole 15 minutes to read the paper, text people, play games on my phone all at the expense of my company and no fucker moans!!!!

Order of the day: Try new things, take a shit somewhere new

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quote:

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Originally posted by xParaDox
Aside from that reason Public urinals tend to be quite unsanitary. :/

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i thought possibly this was a competition to see who would shit in a public place (IE a museum hall). fuck youre all boring.

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Originally posted by Bakkoda
i thought possibly this was a competition to see who would shit in a public place (IE a museum hall). fuck youre all boring.

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quote:

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Originally posted by socks
You talk the talk, can you.... walk the walk?

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Originally posted by stickywicket
Helpful hint, don't shit in the urinal. Shit in the toilet instead.

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Originally posted by Bakkoda
last time i got kicked out of a local pizza place for being publically intoxicated, we took the liberty of upperdecking one of the johns. ive personally never drop trou in the li8kes of a convenience store or such. Prolly wouldnt look good for the group of kids I coach. Lot of angry parents.

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As someone who travels around town for work, I spend quite a bit of time in public restrooms so I have no problem shitting in a public restroom provided a.) there's a coupious amount of toilet paper available that has not been shit/pissed/wiped on and b.) the toilet looks half-way clean though I lay approximately 2 to 3 layers of paper on the seat which is why the coupious amount of butt tissue is required.

I actually thought of writting a book about my experiences in public restrooms in my town appropriately titled "Shitting Across Columbus: A guide to Columbus Public Restrooms". Some of the things I have seen would make most of you wake up in the night screaming.

__________________

quote:

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[i]The UK sucks [/B]

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__________________

Hold Da Motha Fuckin Salad.

__________________
Spitball Admin
http://www.spitballcinema.com

BROWN POWER!!!11

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[16:37] <@Virus^> its a dead cert im telling you
[16:37] <@Virus^> you will be gutted if you miss out

Using this as the basis for our....


AWARD SHITSTEM:

1. GHOST SHIT. You know you've shitted.
There's shit on the toilet paper, but none
in the toilet.

2. TEFLON-COATED SHIT. Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you
don't even feel it. No trace of shit on the
paper. You have to look in the toilet to make
sure you did something.

3. GOOEY-SHIT. This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe
your arse 12 times and it's still not clean.
You end up putting toilet paper in your jocks
so that you don't stain them. This kind of shit
leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

4. SECOND THOUGHT SHIT. You're all done wiping, and you're about to
stand up when you realise....you've got more.

5. POP A VEIN IN YOUR The kind of shit that killed Elvis. It doesn't
FOREHEAD SHIT. come out till you're all sweaty, trembling and
purple from straining so hard.

6. WEIGHT WATCHERS You shit so much, you lose several kilos.
SHIT.

7. RIGHT NOW SHIT. You had better be within 30 seconds of a toilet.
You burn rubber getting to the toilet. Usually
it has its head out before you can get your
pants down.

8. KING KONG or This one is so big that you know it won't go
CHOKER SHIT. down the toilet unless you break it into smaller
chunks. A wire coat hanger works well. This kind
of shit usually occurs at someone else's house.

9. CORK SHIT Even after the third flush it's still floating in
(also Floater) the bowl. You think "SHIT" how do I get rid of it.

10. WET CHEEKS SHIT. This shit hits the water sideways and makes a big
splash that gets you all wet.

11. WISH SHIT. You sit there all cramped up in the foetal position
and fart a few times, but no shit in sight.

12. CEMENT BLOCK SHIT. You wish you had a spinal anaesthetic before you
attempted this one.

13. SNAKE SHIT. This shit is fairly soft and about as thick as your
thumb, and at least a metre long.

14. BEER AND PIZZA This happens the day after the night before. Most
SHIT. of the time your shit doesn't smell so bad but this
one is BAD....usually this one happens at someone
else's house, and someone is always waiting outside
the toilet door.

15. MEXICAN FOOD SHIT. You know will know it's safe to eat again when your
(or Screamer) arse stops burning.