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-- Ask Neversoft... (http://www.vcdhq.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=69276)

Posted by 404notfound on 03-22-2006 08:06 PM:

Dear Cunt,

Is it true 9 out of 10 cats prefer whiskers?

Kindest Regards

404

__________________

Posted by lmao2k on 03-22-2006 10:04 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft

...
Incidentally, you incorrectly spelt "throw" and "cliff"

I've been paying too much attention to Arthur's posting method

uh oh

Posted by |V|USTANG_FAN on 03-23-2006 12:49 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by 404notfound
Dear Cunt,

Is it true 9 out of 10 cats prefer whiskers?

Kindest Regards

404

no, they prefer whiskas....

__________________

Posted by The CandyMan on 03-23-2006 03:14 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by |V|USTANG_FAN
no, they prefer whiskas....

Naw come on everyone knows the song, sing it with me!!

"I like chicken, I like liver, Meow Mix, Meow Mix please DELIVER!!!"

__________________

Posted by doctor zoidy on 03-23-2006 04:07 AM:

who would win in a fight between the character of donna from 70s show, and the tall bitch from 3rd rock from the sun....

would they need to be naked?

if im power-wanking over their naked wrestling bodies and they decide to just double team me, is it an acceptable alternative to power-wanking? or should i keep with the wank?

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Thats alot of words for someone that sells DVDs out of the back of a truck

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Read zoidys comment for clarification.

Posted by Mr_Grinch on 03-23-2006 09:23 AM:

Dear Neversoft,

After recently taking your advice I was mid "power-wank" in the work toilet. In my sexual haste I realised I hadn't locked the cubicle door and in walked my manager.

Both embarassed he just left and I sat there, tried my best to finish off but had been put off my stroke.

Later that day I was informed I was being "let go" and was quoted various chapters from the sector of my contract involving Conduct and Discipline.

Unfortunately there was a paragraph in there that (and I shall quote):

"Any employee caught, or suspected of, masturbating, or power-wanking, shall immediately be given their weeks notice. In this week all bathroom break privileges shall be withdrawn. Masturbation is strictly forbidden in work and seen as a disciplinary offence."

So within a week I shall be out of a job and within a month out on the street.

My question is:

How do I successfully sue you for your advice?

Thanks in advance,
**************

__________________
<Mr_Grinch> yes. I have aids. Which I got from bumming men.

Posted by Mr_Grinch on 03-23-2006 09:24 AM:

Dear Neversoft,

I have a further question:

Which cunt changed (well, gave me a) signature?

Yours jobless,
******************

__________________
<Mr_Grinch> yes. I have aids. Which I got from bumming men.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 10:40 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Takkouri
Dear Neversoft,

How do I stop myself getting drunk, stoned, talking shit and getting banned from forums and irc channels?

Also i have a very small lump in groin area a couple of inches right and up from my cock, i'm too embarrassed to go to the doctors.

My best advice is to smoke more weed... I find that after a bong or two I'm incapable of operating a PC - avoid getting drunk though, it'll make you sound like a total dick.

You should be concerned about that lump. It could be something as "minor" as swollen lymph nodes but could be as severe as a hernia or a tumor. My best advice is to see if it subsides over the next few days and if not (or if it's giving you pain or discomfort), see a vetranarian.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 10:51 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by 404notfound
Dear Cunt,

Is it true 9 out of 10 cats prefer whiskers?

Kindest Regards

404

Only in surveys sponsored by the manufacturer. Also, you could postulate that 9/10 cats prefer Whiskas to "what", being thrown into a wood chipper?

::EDIT:: Also, it's "8 out of 10 cats" you cock!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by dukenukem on 03-23-2006 11:11 AM:

are you truly "never" "soft" ?
I need video proof.

and what site can i go to to see things that look like download sites, but are truly undercover undertakers at work?

__________________
d. nukem

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 11:56 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by doctor zoidy
who would win in a fight between the character of donna from 70s show, and the tall bitch from 3rd rock from the sun....

would they need to be naked?

if im power-wanking over their naked wrestling bodies and they decide to just double team me, is it an acceptable alternative to power-wanking? or should i keep with the wank?

Obviously the statuesque Kristen Johnston (3rd Rock) would wipe the floor with the diminutive Laura Prepon from "That 70s Show" it would undoubtedly be a David and Goliath fight but in this instance I believe Goliath would win... Unless Laura has some advanced martial arts training that I'm unaware of. They would not need to be naked but it would be preferrential for both you and I.

With regards to the double-teaming you during a power-wank, my best advice would be to continue wanking... It's bound to impress and may distract them from your face and body odour.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 12:00 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Mr_Grinch
Dear Neversoft,

After recently taking your advice I was mid "power-wank" in the work toilet. In my sexual haste I realised I hadn't locked the cubicle door and in walked my manager.

Both embarassed he just left and I sat there, tried my best to finish off but had been put off my stroke.

Later that day I was informed I was being "let go" and was quoted various chapters from the sector of my contract involving Conduct and Discipline.

Unfortunately there was a paragraph in there that (and I shall quote):

"Any employee caught, or suspected of, masturbating, or power-wanking, shall immediately be given their weeks notice. In this week all bathroom break privileges shall be withdrawn. Masturbation is strictly forbidden in work and seen as a disciplinary offence."

So within a week I shall be out of a job and within a month out on the street.

My question is:

How do I successfully sue you for your advice?

Thanks in advance,
**************

You obviously failed to read the disclaimer that I never published but if you still feel the need to take legal advice I'd suggest you start here: www.citizensadvice.org.uk

I'm not sure sueing me would be successful though and even if it was, you'd probably be killed in a freak accident before any judement was passed.

Why not console yourself by having a power-wank instead?

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 12:02 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Mr_Grinch
Dear Neversoft,

I have a further question:

Which cunt changed (well, gave me a) signature?

Yours jobless,
******************

It was probably Dwaggy, pHo was busy having a power-wank.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 12:11 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by dukenukem
are you truly "never" "soft" ?
I need video proof.

and what site can i go to to see things that look like download sites, but are truly undercover undertakers at work?

Although I have my flaccid moments, I'm generally in a state of permanent arousal. Unfortunately I cannot provide video evidence on VCDQuality due to contractual obligations but feel free to visit my section on www.twinks.com - they accept most major credit cards.

To the best of my knowledge there are no undercover undertakers disguised as download sites on the Internet, but now that you've suggested it one is bound to appear within the week... Beware though, it will have lots of advertisments and drive-by spyware installers!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by 404notfound on 03-23-2006 12:15 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
It was probably Dwaggy, pHo was busy having a power-wank.

WRONG

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 12:23 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
It was probably Dwaggy, pHo was busy wanking 404notfound.

quote:
Originally posted by 404notfound
WRONG

RIGHT

I never said I had the correct answers, I simply invited people to ask me questions... You probably need a lie down and a power-wank.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Dwaggy on 03-23-2006 12:27 PM:

Dear neversoft

Is there a fetish centered around crushing chinese death-perverts with a size 5000 high heel shoe

and where do i sign up

__________________

i have sigs off

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 01:41 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Dear neversoft

Is there a fetish centered around crushing chinese death-perverts with a size 5000 high heel shoe

and where do i sign up

There isn't but there should be. The best I can offer is some details of the said "Death-perverts":

quote:
The Chinese media launched a successful hunt for the woman. The woman, who has still remained unnamed as of 13 March 2006, was tracked down to a small town called Hegang, located in Heilongjiang province in northern China.

Even though the woman has been identified, she has not been arrested since her current whereabouts are not known even by her family.

and your weapon of choice...

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by cobalt on 03-23-2006 01:44 PM:

Dearest Neversoft,

I'm looking to burn a new CD for my car, can you suggest some more tracks along the lines of these which I have already picked out.......

Foo Fighters - Low, Everlong.
Queens of the stone age - First It Giveth, Hanging Tree, A Song For The Deaf
Audioslave - Cochise, Be Yourself
Feeder - Shatter, Seven Days In The Sun
Fuel - Hemorrhage
RHCP - Various live tracks
Ceasers - Various tracks from the Paper Tigers album
Jimi Hendrix
Smashing Pumpkins

Thank you for your suggestions

Yours, confused from Cardiff

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 01:56 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cobalt
Dearest Neversoft,

I'm looking to burn a new CD for my car, can you suggest some more tracks along the lines of these which I have already picked out.......

Foo Fighters - Low, Everlong.
Queens of the stone age - First It Giveth, Hanging Tree, A Song For The Deaf
Audioslave - Cochise, Be Yourself
Feeder - Shatter, Seven Days In The Sun
Fuel - Hemorrhage
RHCP - Various live tracks
Ceasers - Various tracks from the Paper Tigers album
Jimi Hendrix
Smashing Pumpkins

Thank you for your suggestions

Yours, confused from Cardiff

Why not try...

Someone Like You - Trust Company
Given to Fly - Pearl Jam
Vacant Skies - Sparta
Be Yourself - Audioslave
The Vulture - Jet By Day
Wall of Shame - Curse of Nature
Summer - The Flying Nuns

Alternatively, have a listen to the radio station I have created for you: http://www.pandora.com/?sc=sh19279675

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

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