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Posted by Neversoft on 03-21-2006 06:30 PM:

Ask Neversoft...

Yes, ASK ME!! We mod/admin types at VCDQ are often amazed by the complete lack of effort people put into finding shit out before they decide it worthy of a thread on this forum. Therefore I've decided that what this forum needs is an advice column from yours truly.

I specialise in sexual health advice, PC tips and home lobotomy but any subject is valid and welcome.

ASK AWAY!!

N.B. Don't shit-up my advice column with flame wars you bastards!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Mr_Grinch on 03-21-2006 06:40 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

Occasionally when in work my penis becomes hard for no reason, I find this awkward as sometimes I'm stood at the photocopier or in the kitchen when this happens and have to waddle back to my desk.

Why is this happening?

What do you suggest?

Yours confused,
*********

__________________
<Mr_Grinch> yes. I have aids. Which I got from bumming men.

Posted by Sin on 03-21-2006 06:43 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

In my current job I dont have a fucking clue as to what I'm meant to be doing.

All I do most of the day is surf the web and look at SomethingAwful.com

However I am being paid a good rate and I kinda did the job they wanted me to do. My question is, how do i spend my days now seeing as I've become a useless but still paid member of this organisation?

Posted by Mother on 03-21-2006 07:01 PM:

When Blade Runner was re-released theatrically (as the Director's Cut) in 1992/93, did it have a Dolby Digital soundtrack?

Posted by Fionn McCool on 03-21-2006 07:12 PM:

Dear Neversoft.

My parents brought me up to be a good church going Catholic but there's this Icelandic guy at....um....School that makes fun of me and says the whole God thing is a load of shit.

Is he right?......I'm confused and I don't know who to turn to.

Posted by Arthur Daily on 03-21-2006 07:29 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

why do people on forums feal the need to only reply to a post with the sole purpous of picking apart someones post.
99% of the time reading i whole post of over (lets say) 30 lines of text. then only hitting the reply "click" with "you missed an E in that word"

you could post the "Meaning of life" and someone will reply with "you spelt that word wrong" (end post)

But the real question is.
Why wont my Mrs take it up the Dung Funnel ?

__________________
*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

Posted by Brian.Sandro on 03-21-2006 07:36 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

Why is Grommit handing Wallace a large pink rubber fallus ?

Posted by Shn on 03-21-2006 07:37 PM:

are there more than 1 question per person ?

I sure hope so, or else that was it

And if there are, here's mine :

- when will I die? how?

if a yes/no question is required (maybe you're just an 8ball) :

- will I ever get laid again ? (by a female)

That is all.

__________________

The Shning - plenty of silly pics - My blog, hosted by BoH

Posted by J Fresh on 03-21-2006 08:09 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

Why was the Star Wars Holiday Special created?

__________________

Posted by cookie on 03-21-2006 08:16 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

I was at work, browsing Google videos when I came across a little dog humping another dog. For some reason, that got something stirring down there, so I went to the ladies room and did a quick flick of the clit. When I came back to my desk, I was smiling broadly.

Could my co-workers tell?

__________________
Arf says I'm one of the good ones. Yay!!

Posted by bartleby on 03-21-2006 09:07 PM:

dear neversoft ,

which came first the chicken or the egg ?

__________________
snoochie boochies

Posted by MrEMann on 03-21-2006 10:04 PM:

Oh mighty Neversoft, keeper of the knowledge,

Is life a box of chocolates, or a bowl of cherries, and is that why people are getting fatter in this day and age, from enjoying life too much?

signed
Just Another Onion Head

Posted by shorty6pac on 03-21-2006 10:06 PM:

Dear Neversoft

When are you going to answer all these questions

Posted by Dwaggy on 03-21-2006 10:18 PM:

Dear Neversoft

Why do you hate freedom

Love, Dwaggy

__________________

i have sigs off

Posted by Avenue_1 on 03-21-2006 10:23 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

is it wrong to think about your own mother or sister while having a good wank?

Posted by doctor zoidy on 03-21-2006 10:30 PM:

ive been feeling sexual desires towards the dora the explorer live theatre actress... my son watches dora the explorer nearly constantly, in fact its the only tv he'll watch...

do you think my sexual fantasies will someday extend to the animated 5 year old, or will i be safe in the live action 20-something year old?

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Thats alot of words for someone that sells DVDs out of the back of a truck

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Read zoidys comment for clarification.

Posted by The CandyMan on 03-21-2006 11:02 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

Why do I keep coming back to this forum time and time again knowing it will rot my brain and only lead to insanity?

__________________

Posted by White Rabbit on 03-21-2006 11:43 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

here are some questions that i always mentally ask myself:

1. How long will it take me for my hair to get really long?

2. Is a 7 inch cock decent? apparently the average is 6!

3. Why is car insurance so fucking expensive? i havent got a car yet but when i do im gonna have to get a job to run the fucker...

4. Do i have any homosexual friends? i fuckin well hope not

5. will i always be a bum?

6. does anyone else think coldplay are amazing?

these questions go through my mind about a million times a day

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by pHo
the difference between compression and encoding is:

compression software works the same way as trying to get The 404, who is 350lbs, through a normal door. its method is to basically keep kicking The 404 until he gets thru the door. This works quickly, but leaves a nasty mess.

encoding software is the equivalent of The 404 going on a diet and walking thru the door. takes longer and sometimes more skill, but ultimately worth it.

Posted by |V|USTANG_FAN on 03-22-2006 01:01 AM:

dear neversoft, can you find me a manual for a sony cdx-m650?

__________________

Posted by J Fresh on 03-22-2006 03:35 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by White Rabbit
Dear Neversoft,

4. Do i have any homosexual friends? i fuckin well hope not

6. does anyone else think coldplay are amazing?

well these 2 clash.
You know how I know you're gay. Because you listen to Coldplay.

__________________

Posted by Arthur Daily on 03-22-2006 04:10 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by |V|USTANG_FAN
dear neversoft, can you find me a manual for a sony cdx-m650?

Your Manual Sir

__________________
*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 11:11 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Mr_Grinch
Dear Neversoft,

Occasionally when in work my penis becomes hard for no reason, I find this awkward as sometimes I'm stood at the photocopier or in the kitchen when this happens and have to waddle back to my desk.

Why is this happening?

What do you suggest?

Yours confused,
*********

You're suffering from a "backlog" of sperm and probably aren't masturbating enough. If it's not convenient to go to the toilets for a quick "power wank" I suggest you try drugs instead - a gram or two of speed should quel that erection until you get home.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 11:16 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Sin
Dear Neversoft,

In my current job I dont have a fucking clue as to what I'm meant to be doing.

All I do most of the day is surf the web and look at SomethingAwful.com

However I am being paid a good rate and I kinda did the job they wanted me to do. My question is, how do i spend my days now seeing as I've become a useless but still paid member of this organisation?

I suffer a similar affliction - I'm shit at my job too! My best advice is to continue browsing the web but always keep a half-written report close at hand that you can fall back on if your manager questions your output. Should you ever find yourself in the the nightmare scenario that "no internet access at work" is, then several power-wanks in the staff toilets can quickly make the day go by.

One word of caution - don't apply for another job based on what your CV claims you do in your current job. Most companies have a three month trial period and in that time they're bound to realise that you're a waste of time and space, whereas you're obviously getting away with it at the moment.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 11:22 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Mother
When Blade Runner was re-released theatrically (as the Director's Cut) in 1992/93, did it have a Dolby Digital soundtrack?

No, it was only remastered to Dolby Digital in 2000, the theatrical release was Pro Logic. Also, you should go for a power-wank in the staff toilets.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 11:24 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Fionn McCool
Dear Neversoft.

My parents brought me up to be a good church going Catholic but there's this Icelandic guy at....um....School that makes fun of me and says the whole God thing is a load of shit.

Is he right?......I'm confused and I don't know who to turn to.

You've come to the right person Fionn. Whilst I disapprove of religion I approve of fanaticism so my best advice is to join a cult and have numerous power-wanks or combine the two and remain Catholic.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 11:33 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Dear Neversoft,

why do people on forums feal the need to only reply to a post with the sole purpous of picking apart someones post.
99% of the time reading i whole post of over (lets say) 30 lines of text. then only hitting the reply "click" with "you missed an E in that word"

you could post the "Meaning of life" and someone will reply with "you spelt that word wrong" (end post)

But the real question is.
Why wont my Mrs take it up the Dung Funnel ?

Ah! A two-parter - you're a shrewd man Arfur and really get your moneys worth!

With regards to "Spelling Police" - some people can't tell the difference between bad spelling and lazy spelling. You're a bad speller Arfur and that’s never going to change so people pick on it. Some people post on this forum who are perfectly capable of writing clear and concise posts but choose not to because they're lazy fuckers - you are not one of these people. Accept your lack of English skills and enjoy the fact that it distracts people from your other deficiencies such as your frighteningly ugly face or the fact that you're a cunt.

Your Mrs does like "Brown love" but not with you, mainly for the reasons I've described above. You could however try getting her really drunk or wearing a "Neversoft mask" which is available from the merchandising arm of VCDQ. If your efforts fail, you could always have a power-wank.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 11:41 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Shn
are there more than 1 question per person ?

I sure hope so, or else that was it

And if there are, here's mine :

- when will I die? how?

if a yes/no question is required (maybe you're just an 8ball) :

- will I ever get laid again ? (by a female)

That is all.

Three questions you greedy bastard? Oh Lordy!!

Yes, you can ask multiple questions but I may not answer them all.

I have no idea when you will die but I sincerely hope it will be from something degenerative, crippling and carries a lot of stigma... Such as leprosy. Alternatively, you could choose your time of death - I look forward to your questions regarding suicide methods.

Laid again? You have a French accent so your best bet is to travel outside of France 'cos chicks dig the accent. You may have to take extra measures to guarantee success though such as covering your face and wearing less garish colours (real men don't wear lime or burgundy denim).

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 11:42 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Sobaku
Dear Neversoft,

Why was the Star Wars Holiday Special created?

$$$

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 11:45 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by cookie
Dear Neversoft,

I was at work, browsing Google videos when I came across a little dog humping another dog. For some reason, that got something stirring down there, so I went to the ladies room and did a quick flick of the clit. When I came back to my desk, I was smiling broadly.

Could my co-workers tell?

Yes, you made classic mistake of making the office smell like warm cat food. Next time you flick the bean, wash your hands and "grumble" afterwards.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 11:52 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by bartleby
dear neversoft ,

which came first the chicken or the egg ?

If you believe evolution: The egg. If you believe religious nutters: Jesus!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 11:53 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by eljefeoscuro
Oh mighty Neversoft, keeper of the knowledge,

Is life a box of chocolates, or a bowl of cherries, and is that why people are getting fatter in this day and age, from enjoying life too much?

signed
Just Another Onion Head

People are getting fatter because their arseholes are smaller than their mouths and there's a bottleneck as a result. The solution is: bigger arseholes!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 11:54 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by shorty6pac
Dear Neversoft

When are you going to answer all these questions

Now

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Vampire on 03-22-2006 11:57 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
People are getting fatter because their arseholes are smaller than their mouths and there's a bottleneck as a result. The solution is: bigger arseholes!

Of course, it's so simple..... I've never met a fat gay bloke!

edit: actually, although I've not met them.... there's Russell Grant and Elton John to name a couple so there must be additional factors in play. Perhaps the high calorie count of sperm?

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 11:57 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Dear Neversoft

Why do you hate freedom

Love, Dwaggy

People are happier when they're oppressed. Humans are greedy by nature so if they have a little freedom, they want a lot of it. The simplest way to alleviate this is to take away people's freedom and substitute it with right-wing propaganda and the occasional state-sponsored beating.

You should however, fight for your right to have power-wanks in the workplace.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Mother on 03-22-2006 12:04 PM:

Is there a cracked version of Pro Tools that will run on Windows XP without Digidesign hardware?

Edit - I suppose the question should be, how the fuck can I run the AudioSuite plugin I downloaded?

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 12:05 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1
Dear Neversoft,

is it wrong to think about your own mother or sister while having a good wank?

Not really, just keep it to yourself. It's understandable, your mother and sister are seriously hot!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 12:09 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by doctor zoidy
ive been feeling sexual desires towards the dora the explorer live theatre actress... my son watches dora the explorer nearly constantly, in fact its the only tv he'll watch...

do you think my sexual fantasies will someday extend to the animated 5 year old, or will i be safe in the live action 20-something year old?

Having sexual desires for an animated character is perfectly normal and part of being a healthy human. Personally I like to have a power-wank to Blues Clues and Backyardigans but Dora is a horny little slut too.

With regards to the 20-something bird who plays the live-action Dora, she's actually a hermaphrodite so be warned!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 12:11 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by The CandyMan
Dear Neversoft,

Why do I keep coming back to this forum time and time again knowing it will rot my brain and only lead to insanity?

You have a deep-rooted problem with insecurity in the real world Candy and the only way your psyche has to deal with this is to make yourself feel superior from time-to-time - visiting this site and reading a few posts suits your needs perfectly.

It's also probably the only thing that distracts you from power-wanking.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 12:20 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by White Rabbit
Dear Neversoft,

here are some questions that i always mentally ask myself:

1. How long will it take me for my hair to get really long?

2. Is a 7 inch cock decent? apparently the average is 6!

3. Why is car insurance so fucking expensive? i havent got a car yet but when i do im gonna have to get a job to run the fucker...

4. Do i have any homosexual friends? i fuckin well hope not

5. will i always be a bum?

6. does anyone else think coldplay are amazing?

these questions go through my mind about a million times a day

1. Hair grows at roughly .44mm per day so use this equation... (desired hair length in mm - current length of hair in mm) / 0.44 = number of days of growing remaining

2. 7" is reasonably large without being excessive. Put it this way, would you like to be penetrated by a cock that big? You're not a porn star and probably never will be!

3. Insurance is for pussies. I don't drive but if I did I certainly wouldn't crash the fucker like some woman. Be a man for fucks sake!!

4. 10% (or something like that) of the population are gay but considering your "personality" I doubt you have that many friends so in your case, I reckon you're safe.

5. No, eventually you'll get bored with it and join the population... We all do

6. Personally I think Coldplay make depressing, whiney and shit music but I can understand that some people like them... I call those people "The 10%"

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 12:21 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by |V|USTANG_FAN
dear neversoft, can you find me a manual for a sony cdx-m650?

With pleasure...

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Your Manual Sir

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 12:26 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Mother
Is there a cracked version of Pro Tools that will run on Windows XP without Digidesign hardware?

Edit - I suppose the question should be, how the fuck can I run the AudioSuite plugin I downloaded?

No, Pro Tools requires the Digidesign interface.

As for the plugin... Just extract it into the "Plugins" folder for the application then have a quick power-wank.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 12:29 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Brian.Sandro
Dear Neversoft,

Why is Grommit handing Wallace a large pink rubber fallus ?

Sorry, I missed this question earlier... The answer to your question is: "He isn't" - it's actually been cleverly (and subtly) edited by a forum member on b3ta.com

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by MrEMann on 03-22-2006 12:38 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
The solution is: bigger arseholes!

But even with the over abundance of big arseholes (read: Dubya, most politicians actually, Enron Execs, crappy bosses, etc..), why are we still getting fatter?

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 12:50 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by eljefeoscuro
But even with the over abundance of big arseholes (read: Dubya, most politicians actually, Enron Execs, crappy bosses, etc..), why are we still getting fatter?

I'm actually referring to the aperture, not the fleshy bits that surround it.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by |V|USTANG_FAN on 03-22-2006 01:48 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Your Manual Sir

fucking christ thanks man!!!!!

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 01:50 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by |V|USTANG_FAN
fucking christ thanks man!!!!!

You're fucking welcome!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by The CandyMan on 03-22-2006 01:56 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
You have a deep-rooted problem with insecurity in the real world Candy and the only way your psyche has to deal with this is to make yourself feel superior from time-to-time - visiting this site and reading a few posts suits your needs perfectly.

It's also probably the only thing that distracts you from power-wanking.

Wow, you are truely insightful!!!!

That or you have a bad case of indigestion. Either way, thanks man!!!!!!

__________________

Posted by carolinawolf on 03-22-2006 02:33 PM:

how did i end up here on this forum and why do i enjoy it so much? should this forum be made into a national TV show?, it's much better than comedy central , maybe we could make money doing what we all enjoy, screwing off. i was trying to come up with a intelligent techical question, but then i realized i already know everything. great thread neversoft.

__________________
The Brits can dish it out but they sure as hell can't take it.
something they just can't do, sort of like brushing their teeth.
The few crooked ones they have that is.
good by you pricks.

Posted by Paul Skinback on 03-22-2006 03:07 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

Athlon64 or Pentium D ?

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 03:21 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by carolinawolf
how did i end up here on this forum and why do i enjoy it so much? should this forum be made into a national TV show?, it's much better than comedy central , maybe we could make money doing what we all enjoy, screwing off. i was trying to come up with a intelligent techical question, but then i realized i already know everything. great thread neversoft.

You probably found your way under the misguided impression that we had something to do with movie releases

As for "spreading" the forum's unusual form of fisting-related humour, debauchery and general malaise to a wider audience, I doubt it... We'd be rewinding evolution by a couple of million years.

Thanks for not posing an intelligent technical question, I have a headache and a pressing need for a power-wank.

P.S. Everything you know is wrong, including the stuff you've simply made up.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 03:26 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Paul Skinback
Dear Neversoft,

Athlon64 or Pentium D ?

Easy! That's like saying "Is it best to have a Power-wank or be blinded with a sharp stick?" Athlon 64s are a cost-effective, cutting-edge processor designed for the most taxing of computing environments. Pentium-Ds on the other hand are just about capable of operating a refridgerator but they'd still overheat and require 1200w of power. Coupled with the fact that you could buy a swanky motherboard for your Athlon simply from the money you save by avoiding the Pentium.

Once you'e built your new PC why not sit back, open VLC and have a quick power-wank to your favourite porn?

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Dwaggy on 03-22-2006 03:54 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

Could you please write articles for a comedy websi... oh wait

__________________

i have sigs off

Posted by TwinZ on 03-22-2006 04:10 PM:

Dear Neversoft

a few years ago a friend of mine was in a car crash and broke both his arms. if this was to ever happen to me have you any other suggestions of how to perform a power wank?

Posted by lmao2k on 03-22-2006 05:02 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

I notice the "power wank" is super flexible action as an answer to most questions so far.. Are you trying to plug an imminent book release?

Also what are the chances of getting real lemmings to say "uh oh" when you through them off a clift?

Many thanks

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 05:14 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by TwinZ
Dear Neversoft

a few years ago a friend of mine was in a car crash and broke both his arms. if this was to ever happen to me have you any other suggestions of how to perform a power wank?

Assuming your friends arms have now recovered, you could ask him.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 05:15 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Dear Neversoft,

Could you please write articles for a comedy websi... oh wait

Alas, I'm a lazy twat but I really do intend on writing lots of funny things for a website called "Box of Hats" in the future - I just don't know how far into the future

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by davidbrent on 03-22-2006 05:46 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

With all the tornados etc that happen in America,

why the fuck do the crazy Americans still keep building their houses out of chipboard and wood, and not bricks and mortar?

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 05:50 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by lmao2k
Dear Neversoft,

I notice the "power wank" is super flexible action as an answer to most questions so far.. Are you trying to plug an imminent book release?

Also what are the chances of getting real lemmings to say "uh oh" when you through them off a clift?

Many thanks

No, I'm promoting power-wanking as an effective means of achieving an "Imminent release"

It's a myth (perpetuated by the game "Lemmings") that Lemmings actually throw themselves off cliffs. If anything, they occaisionally get blown off and sometimes fall off due to fatigue caused by rapid population explosions. To the best of my knowledge you cannot get them to say "Uh oh" but future genetic manipulation may allow this.

Incidentally, you incorrectly spelt "throw" and "cliff"

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-22-2006 06:29 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by davidbrent
Dear Neversoft,

With all the tornados etc that happen in America,

why the fuck do the crazy Americans still keep building their houses out of chipboard and wood, and not bricks and mortar?

It's a combination of the environment, cost effectiveness, poverty and stupidity... Whilst people not living in tornado-prone areas need not worry, I suspect people that do always assume it'll "never happen to them" - normally after the destruction of their 3rd house they realise that this is, in fact, wrong and proceed to build house number 4 out of good old-fashioned bricks. You can see a similar effect in the UK when people in rural villages spend a fortune on a quaint cottage that has been flooded consecutively for the last 15 years by the local river... People in the real estate industry refer to these types of customers as "fucking mongs"

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Takkouri on 03-22-2006 07:54 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

How do I stop myself getting drunk, stoned, talking shit and getting banned from forums and irc channels?

Also i have a very small lump in groin area a couple of inches right and up from my cock, i'm too embarrassed to go to the doctors.

Posted by 404notfound on 03-22-2006 08:06 PM:

Dear Cunt,

Is it true 9 out of 10 cats prefer whiskers?

Kindest Regards

404

__________________

Posted by lmao2k on 03-22-2006 10:04 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft

...
Incidentally, you incorrectly spelt "throw" and "cliff"

I've been paying too much attention to Arthur's posting method

uh oh

Posted by |V|USTANG_FAN on 03-23-2006 12:49 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by 404notfound
Dear Cunt,

Is it true 9 out of 10 cats prefer whiskers?

Kindest Regards

404

no, they prefer whiskas....

__________________

Posted by The CandyMan on 03-23-2006 03:14 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by |V|USTANG_FAN
no, they prefer whiskas....

Naw come on everyone knows the song, sing it with me!!

"I like chicken, I like liver, Meow Mix, Meow Mix please DELIVER!!!"

__________________

Posted by doctor zoidy on 03-23-2006 04:07 AM:

who would win in a fight between the character of donna from 70s show, and the tall bitch from 3rd rock from the sun....

would they need to be naked?

if im power-wanking over their naked wrestling bodies and they decide to just double team me, is it an acceptable alternative to power-wanking? or should i keep with the wank?

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Thats alot of words for someone that sells DVDs out of the back of a truck

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Read zoidys comment for clarification.

Posted by Mr_Grinch on 03-23-2006 09:23 AM:

Dear Neversoft,

After recently taking your advice I was mid "power-wank" in the work toilet. In my sexual haste I realised I hadn't locked the cubicle door and in walked my manager.

Both embarassed he just left and I sat there, tried my best to finish off but had been put off my stroke.

Later that day I was informed I was being "let go" and was quoted various chapters from the sector of my contract involving Conduct and Discipline.

Unfortunately there was a paragraph in there that (and I shall quote):

"Any employee caught, or suspected of, masturbating, or power-wanking, shall immediately be given their weeks notice. In this week all bathroom break privileges shall be withdrawn. Masturbation is strictly forbidden in work and seen as a disciplinary offence."

So within a week I shall be out of a job and within a month out on the street.

My question is:

How do I successfully sue you for your advice?

Thanks in advance,
**************

__________________
<Mr_Grinch> yes. I have aids. Which I got from bumming men.

Posted by Mr_Grinch on 03-23-2006 09:24 AM:

Dear Neversoft,

I have a further question:

Which cunt changed (well, gave me a) signature?

Yours jobless,
******************

__________________
<Mr_Grinch> yes. I have aids. Which I got from bumming men.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 10:40 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Takkouri
Dear Neversoft,

How do I stop myself getting drunk, stoned, talking shit and getting banned from forums and irc channels?

Also i have a very small lump in groin area a couple of inches right and up from my cock, i'm too embarrassed to go to the doctors.

My best advice is to smoke more weed... I find that after a bong or two I'm incapable of operating a PC - avoid getting drunk though, it'll make you sound like a total dick.

You should be concerned about that lump. It could be something as "minor" as swollen lymph nodes but could be as severe as a hernia or a tumor. My best advice is to see if it subsides over the next few days and if not (or if it's giving you pain or discomfort), see a vetranarian.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 10:51 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by 404notfound
Dear Cunt,

Is it true 9 out of 10 cats prefer whiskers?

Kindest Regards

404

Only in surveys sponsored by the manufacturer. Also, you could postulate that 9/10 cats prefer Whiskas to "what", being thrown into a wood chipper?

::EDIT:: Also, it's "8 out of 10 cats" you cock!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by dukenukem on 03-23-2006 11:11 AM:

are you truly "never" "soft" ?
I need video proof.

and what site can i go to to see things that look like download sites, but are truly undercover undertakers at work?

__________________
d. nukem

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 11:56 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by doctor zoidy
who would win in a fight between the character of donna from 70s show, and the tall bitch from 3rd rock from the sun....

would they need to be naked?

if im power-wanking over their naked wrestling bodies and they decide to just double team me, is it an acceptable alternative to power-wanking? or should i keep with the wank?

Obviously the statuesque Kristen Johnston (3rd Rock) would wipe the floor with the diminutive Laura Prepon from "That 70s Show" it would undoubtedly be a David and Goliath fight but in this instance I believe Goliath would win... Unless Laura has some advanced martial arts training that I'm unaware of. They would not need to be naked but it would be preferrential for both you and I.

With regards to the double-teaming you during a power-wank, my best advice would be to continue wanking... It's bound to impress and may distract them from your face and body odour.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 12:00 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Mr_Grinch
Dear Neversoft,

After recently taking your advice I was mid "power-wank" in the work toilet. In my sexual haste I realised I hadn't locked the cubicle door and in walked my manager.

Both embarassed he just left and I sat there, tried my best to finish off but had been put off my stroke.

Later that day I was informed I was being "let go" and was quoted various chapters from the sector of my contract involving Conduct and Discipline.

Unfortunately there was a paragraph in there that (and I shall quote):

"Any employee caught, or suspected of, masturbating, or power-wanking, shall immediately be given their weeks notice. In this week all bathroom break privileges shall be withdrawn. Masturbation is strictly forbidden in work and seen as a disciplinary offence."

So within a week I shall be out of a job and within a month out on the street.

My question is:

How do I successfully sue you for your advice?

Thanks in advance,
**************

You obviously failed to read the disclaimer that I never published but if you still feel the need to take legal advice I'd suggest you start here: www.citizensadvice.org.uk

I'm not sure sueing me would be successful though and even if it was, you'd probably be killed in a freak accident before any judement was passed.

Why not console yourself by having a power-wank instead?

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 12:02 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Mr_Grinch
Dear Neversoft,

I have a further question:

Which cunt changed (well, gave me a) signature?

Yours jobless,
******************

It was probably Dwaggy, pHo was busy having a power-wank.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 12:11 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by dukenukem
are you truly "never" "soft" ?
I need video proof.

and what site can i go to to see things that look like download sites, but are truly undercover undertakers at work?

Although I have my flaccid moments, I'm generally in a state of permanent arousal. Unfortunately I cannot provide video evidence on VCDQuality due to contractual obligations but feel free to visit my section on www.twinks.com - they accept most major credit cards.

To the best of my knowledge there are no undercover undertakers disguised as download sites on the Internet, but now that you've suggested it one is bound to appear within the week... Beware though, it will have lots of advertisments and drive-by spyware installers!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by 404notfound on 03-23-2006 12:15 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
It was probably Dwaggy, pHo was busy having a power-wank.

WRONG

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 12:23 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
It was probably Dwaggy, pHo was busy wanking 404notfound.

quote:
Originally posted by 404notfound
WRONG

RIGHT

I never said I had the correct answers, I simply invited people to ask me questions... You probably need a lie down and a power-wank.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Dwaggy on 03-23-2006 12:27 PM:

Dear neversoft

Is there a fetish centered around crushing chinese death-perverts with a size 5000 high heel shoe

and where do i sign up

__________________

i have sigs off

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 01:41 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Dear neversoft

Is there a fetish centered around crushing chinese death-perverts with a size 5000 high heel shoe

and where do i sign up

There isn't but there should be. The best I can offer is some details of the said "Death-perverts":

quote:
The Chinese media launched a successful hunt for the woman. The woman, who has still remained unnamed as of 13 March 2006, was tracked down to a small town called Hegang, located in Heilongjiang province in northern China.

Even though the woman has been identified, she has not been arrested since her current whereabouts are not known even by her family.

and your weapon of choice...

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by cobalt on 03-23-2006 01:44 PM:

Dearest Neversoft,

I'm looking to burn a new CD for my car, can you suggest some more tracks along the lines of these which I have already picked out.......

Foo Fighters - Low, Everlong.
Queens of the stone age - First It Giveth, Hanging Tree, A Song For The Deaf
Audioslave - Cochise, Be Yourself
Feeder - Shatter, Seven Days In The Sun
Fuel - Hemorrhage
RHCP - Various live tracks
Ceasers - Various tracks from the Paper Tigers album
Jimi Hendrix
Smashing Pumpkins

Thank you for your suggestions

Yours, confused from Cardiff

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 01:56 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cobalt
Dearest Neversoft,

I'm looking to burn a new CD for my car, can you suggest some more tracks along the lines of these which I have already picked out.......

Foo Fighters - Low, Everlong.
Queens of the stone age - First It Giveth, Hanging Tree, A Song For The Deaf
Audioslave - Cochise, Be Yourself
Feeder - Shatter, Seven Days In The Sun
Fuel - Hemorrhage
RHCP - Various live tracks
Ceasers - Various tracks from the Paper Tigers album
Jimi Hendrix
Smashing Pumpkins

Thank you for your suggestions

Yours, confused from Cardiff

Why not try...

Someone Like You - Trust Company
Given to Fly - Pearl Jam
Vacant Skies - Sparta
Be Yourself - Audioslave
The Vulture - Jet By Day
Wall of Shame - Curse of Nature
Summer - The Flying Nuns

Alternatively, have a listen to the radio station I have created for you: http://www.pandora.com/?sc=sh19279675

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by punzada on 03-23-2006 04:59 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

So I was having problems with my girlfriend right, she has been acting werid a lot lately. I found her on my computer chatting it up with some guy who I didn't know and have been seeing strange numbers on her cell phone. Some nights, she comes in real late and doesn't even tell me where she has been or who she was with, we got into this big fight and I drove around town all last night.

so anyway, should I fill my car up with regular or premium gas?

Posted by Sin on 03-23-2006 05:01 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

seeing as you seem to answer musical questions, please answer me what the best compilation cd is for playing games, driving in the car and relaxing (all piled together)

Posted by Mick Travis on 03-23-2006 05:57 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

When characters in movies snort cocaine, what are the actors really snorting?

__________________
"A man can change the world with a bullet in the right place."

Posted by lmao2k on 03-23-2006 06:30 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

I am contemplating becoming a superhero, however I have a few issues I need to resolve that could do with your help;

1. What cause should I fight for?
2. What would be a suitable name?

and the killer issue...

3. What should be my signature clothing?

Many thanks

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 08:17 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by punzada
Dear Neversoft,

So I was having problems with my girlfriend right, she has been acting werid a lot lately. I found her on my computer chatting it up with some guy who I didn't know and have been seeing strange numbers on her cell phone. Some nights, she comes in real late and doesn't even tell me where she has been or who she was with, we got into this big fight and I drove around town all last night.

so anyway, should I fill my car up with regular or premium gas?

Premium if you intend on doing lots of driving, it's better for the engine. If however you intend on simply reversing over that inconsiderate slut you call a girlfriend, use regular cos she's not worth the extra $$$ - unless of course shes already apologised and made you a sandwich.

N.B. Be warned, it isn't safe and it's probably illegal to power-wank whilst driving.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 08:26 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Sin
Dear Neversoft,

seeing as you seem to answer musical questions, please answer me what the best compilation cd is for playing games, driving in the car and relaxing (all piled together)

At the moment I'm enjoying "Drum and Bass Arena - The Classics (mixed by Goldie)" but it's not to everybody's taste...

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Arthur Daily on 03-23-2006 08:30 PM:

Dear Neversoft

i remember a few years back, there was a number you could call and play a clip of any tune down the phone.

Then they would text you back with the title and track name.

do you remember this, if so what was the number?

Theres a bitch of a 90s house track i got but i be buggerd dry if i can remember the title

__________________
*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 08:32 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by lmao2k
Dear Neversoft,

I am contemplating becoming a superhero, however I have a few issues I need to resolve that could do with your help;

1. What cause should I fight for?
2. What would be a suitable name?

and the killer issue...

3. What should be my signature clothing?

Many thanks

1. The right to power-wank, any time, any place.
2. Wank-man!
3. Nothing but a cape made from tissues and a pair of fucked-up shoes (preferably brogues).

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Vampire on 03-23-2006 08:35 PM:

edit: removed as Neversoft also answered it below.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 08:39 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Dear Neversoft

i remember a few years back, there was a number you could call and play a clip of any tune down the phone.

Then they would text you back with the title and track name.

do you remember this, if so what was the number?

Theres a bitch of a 90s house track i got but i be buggerd dry if i can remember the title

Yes, I remember... The service is provided by Shazam.com and can be used (in the UK) by doing the following:

1. Call 2580 on your mobile.
2. Hold out your phone to the music. The phone will hang up after 30 seconds.
3. They send you a text telling you artist name & song title (Calls cost 50p + 9p call charge).

Hope that helps, although they cannot assist with power-wanking (sorry)

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Arthur Daily on 03-23-2006 09:05 PM:

thanks man, and whats this fascination you got lately with wanking lol

__________________
*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

Posted by Neversoft on 03-23-2006 09:13 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
thanks man, and whats this fascination you got lately with wanking lol

It's not a fascination, you fuckers keep asking questions about it

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by punzada on 03-23-2006 09:17 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Premium if you intend on doing lots of driving, it's better for the engine. If however you intend on simply reversing over that inconsiderate slut you call a girlfriend, use regular cos she's not worth the extra $$$ - unless of course shes already apologised and made you a sandwich.

N.B. Be warned, it isn't safe and it's probably illegal to power-wank whilst driving.

she apologized but the bitch forgot the sandwich.

so now where do i put her body?

Posted by Mother on 03-23-2006 09:42 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Yes, I remember... The service is provided by Shazam.com and can be used (in the UK) by doing the following:

1. Call 2580 on your mobile.
2. Hold out your phone to the music. The phone will hang up after 30 seconds.
3. They send you a text telling you artist name & song title (Calls cost 50p + 9p call charge).

Hope that helps, although they cannot assist with power-wanking (sorry)

Alternatively, post a clip here and "Ask Neversoft" what it is.

Posted by lmao2k on 03-23-2006 10:40 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

Will this thread be made a sticky one as it surely deserves it?

Cheers

Posted by Avenue_1 on 03-23-2006 11:53 PM:

With the amount of power-wanks going on, i think this thread is sticky enough

Posted by Takkouri on 03-24-2006 12:13 AM:

Neversoft
I salute your insightfulness, your courage and your indefectibility.
However

quote:
Premium if you intend on doing lots of driving

is just plain wrong
Premium is for high performance cars, putting it in a Clio doing many miles will not benefit it one iota.
err but he might have a high performance car

What was that advise about posting? drink more smoke less or smoke more drink less, i'm confused all of a sudden

Posted by djpecker on 03-24-2006 01:14 AM:

I have 3 questions beacuse i'm a cunt!

1. When taking a big dump or having the runs, you know when you get a sore anus after, yeah.....well it feels quite nice, does this make me gay?

2. Why do "forest fresh" magic trees for cars, only come in a 3 pack and not seperatly like the others.

3. What is you defintion of a power wank?

Thank you so much!

Posted by Neversoft on 03-24-2006 08:36 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by punzada
she apologized but the bitch forgot the sandwich.

so now where do i put her body?

Personally, I always eat, rape then finish eating my victims... Saves valuable time and energy that would be better invested in power-wanking.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-24-2006 08:38 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by lmao2k
Dear Neversoft,

Will this thread be made a sticky one as it surely deserves it?

Cheers

Probably not... Eventually I will answer every conceivable question (about power-wanking) then this thread will fall off the bottom of the forum like so many other unwanted threads

... Unless my ego prevents that, then yes, it will be stickied!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-24-2006 08:42 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Takkouri
Neversoft
I salute your insightfulness, your courage and your indefectibility.
However
is just plain wrong
Premium is for high performance cars, putting it in a Clio doing many miles will not benefit it one iota.
err but he might have a high performance car

What was that advise about posting? drink more smoke less or smoke more drink less, i'm confused all of a sudden

Although I don't drive, I was under the impression that premium petrols are better for wear-and-tear but didn't fully research my answer because I was power-wanking at the time... Sorry.

Secondly, it was "drink less and smoke more" not only is it better for you but you'll spill your drink if you're power-wanking at the time.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-24-2006 08:51 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by djpecker
I have 3 questions beacuse i'm a cunt!

1. When taking a big dump or having the runs, you know when you get a sore anus after, yeah.....well it feels quite nice, does this make me gay?

2. Why do "forest fresh" magic trees for cars, only come in a 3 pack and not seperatly like the others.

3. What is you defintion of a power wank?

Thank you so much!

1. No, being attracted to the same sex and wearing Hawaiian shirts makes you gay.

2. Originally they're packaged as one but the Forest Fresh variety are actually a-sexual and breed inside the packet.

3. Personally, I think it's a "wank against the clock" but some people also assume it to mean a "Wank+" such as shoving foreign objects up yourself mid-stroke. Please refer to this link for further definitions although frankly, I think mine is best!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-24-2006 09:01 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Mick Travis
Dear Neversoft,

When characters in movies snort cocaine, what are the actors really snorting?

Generally, whatever substance is used, it isn't snorted but faked instead (blown normally) but commonly-used substitutes are:

Powdered sugar
Powdered milk
Baking powder
Soya Baby Milk
Ovaltine!!!

Although it has to be said, in Hollywood, most of them probably just fetch some coke from their trailer, the fucking junkies

N.B Snorting cocaine will dramatically increase your urge for a power-wank if you don't have a suitable female receptacle at hand.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by desertboy on 03-24-2006 07:49 PM:

Dear neversoft, why do I feel the need to touch myself whenever in the prescene of my flatmates 16 year old daughter?

And also what's these strange green plants my mum's growing in the attic?

And also why is my egg blue in my sausage & egg mcmuffin?

__________________
You're only in as much trouble as you think you are.

Posted by 404notfound on 03-24-2006 08:39 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

What are the winning Euromillions lottery numbers for Friday the 31st of March?

404

__________________

Posted by Shameless Bill on 03-24-2006 09:01 PM:

Dear NS-
Where are the WMD's Saddam hid?

__________________
Now you Bastards will have to respect me!

Look at my Title!!

Posted by Condor on 03-24-2006 10:14 PM:

Dear Neversoft,
This has bothered me for awhile. Why does the apple (mac) computer use a bitten apple as a logo when computers have nothing to do with fruits.

Posted by 404notfound on 03-24-2006 10:19 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Condor
Dear Neversoft,
This has bothered me for awhile. Why does the apple (mac) computer use a bitten apple as a logo when computers have nothing to do with fruits.

Ok.. I'm going to step in here. If Neversoft attempts to use 'fruit' as 'gay' and Mac users being fruits there will be trouble!

Also..... The company is called Apple. So they use the APPLE for its logo.

Simple!

__________________

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 03-24-2006 10:23 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Condor
Dear Neversoft,
This has bothered me for awhile. Why does the apple (mac) computer use a bitten apple as a logo when computers have nothing to do with fruits.

The "apple" with the bite removed is symbolic of Adam and Eve's fall to Lucifer.

Posted by MrEMann on 03-24-2006 11:57 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

Why is it that the people on forums who claim that there can be no "reasonable discussion" of differing opinions, only arguing your beliefs for the sake of arguing are often the ones who will argue this to the point of arguing for the sake of doing so? And why does any otherwise intelligent discussion quickly degrade into flames as soon as these individuals open their mouth?

But the real question is: Why does my neighbors dog act like a spastic everytime a leaf blows down the street?

Posted by Condor on 03-25-2006 02:44 AM:

hmmm... That's what Apple (mac) logo was from.

Dear Neversoft,
Where does the Nike check mark logo (swoop) come from? Does it symbolize something or not?

Posted by HaLiKuS on 03-25-2006 08:17 AM:

Dear NS
Is the answer to the universe 42?
Also, whats the easiest petty revenge to inflict upon an ex-loved one on the net. Teach us a spell

Posted by David Cameron on 03-25-2006 08:23 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by HaLiKuS

Also, whats the easiest petty revenge to inflict upon an ex-loved one on the net. Teach us a spell

Do you have any photos of her with your cock in her mouth? If so put them on a website and email the link to everyone at her work.

Sorry for answering that and stepping on your toes NS. Here is my question.

What time is it?

Posted by HaLiKuS on 03-25-2006 08:31 AM:

But what if you have a shamefully small dick, and everyone at her work knows shes a whore. Im looking more for something like putting milkbones in someones luggage leaving Amsterdam or a Dos attack.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-25-2006 09:29 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by desertboy
Dear neversoft, why do I feel the need to touch myself whenever in the prescene of my flatmates 16 year old daughter?

And also what's these strange green plants my mum's growing in the attic?

And also why is my egg blue in my sausage & egg mcmuffin?

1. Because you're a sexual deviant. Please take this into consideration and refrain from power-wanking in front of her.

2. You mother appears to be growing cannabis using something similar to the Octagrow system... Very good for yield and space-efficiency but personally I'd recommend the Autopot system if it's for personal use. The good news is, your mother probably doesn't have glaucoma

3. I suspect it's some form of contamination. Protip: When ordering, ask for them to replace your egg with another slab of sausage - they never refuse and it's far tastier than that "egg"

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-25-2006 09:30 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by 404notfound
Dear Neversoft,

What are the winning Euromillions lottery numbers for Friday the 31st of March?

404

I'll tell you on the 32nd

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-25-2006 09:35 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Shameless Bill
Dear NS-
Where are the WMD's Saddam hid?

IRAN!!!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-25-2006 09:37 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Condor
Dear Neversoft,
This has bothered me for awhile. Why does the apple (mac) computer use a bitten apple as a logo when computers have nothing to do with fruits.

This has been answered by my minions

Also, you PM'd me the answer you dingleberry...

quote:

Condor wrote on 03-24-2006 10:12 PM:
He he he - Answer to my question in "Ask Neversoft thread." The logo of the "Apple" computer could have been derived from the apple that Eve (Adam and Eve) took a bit from - indicating temptation and gratification - tree of knowledge, forbiden fruit, and bla bla bla.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by David Cameron on 03-25-2006 09:43 AM:

Just in reference to your sig Neversoft. That first movie makes me laugh. 'You wouldn't steal a car, You wouldn't steal a TV so don't steal movies' garbage.

My question is, if you could steal a car and TV withough leaving your own home and with no chance of being caught, would you do it?

Posted by Neversoft on 03-25-2006 09:44 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by eljefeoscuro
Dear Neversoft,

Why is it that the people on forums who claim that there can be no "reasonable discussion" of differing opinions, only arguing your beliefs for the sake of arguing are often the ones who will argue this to the point of arguing for the sake of doing so? And why does any otherwise intelligent discussion quickly degrade into flames as soon as these individuals open their mouth?

But the real question is: Why does my neighbors dog act like a spastic everytime a leaf blows down the street?

The answer to your first question is: Egomania! Most people who frequent internet forums are probably insecure and easily bullied but once they're hiding behind the veil of an alias, monitor and 1000s of miles of cable - they're suddenly a lot braver. Satisfy yourself with the knowledge that the most vapid trolls on this forum probably lead very sad, solitary lives and power-wank to pictures of the Olsen twins whilst sobbing gently.

Your neighbours dog is probably bored off its tits. Buy it a cheap toy or a tennis ball. If you buy it a bone, make sure it's roasted first prior to giving it to it... I guarantee that if the dog had something more interesting to do, it wouldn't give a shit about the leaves. ok, you end up spending a couple of $ but it's worth it.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-25-2006 09:49 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Condor
hmmm... That's what Apple (mac) logo was from.

Dear Neversoft,
Where does the Nike check mark logo (swoop) come from? Does it symbolize something or not?

It was designed in 1971 by Carolyn Davidson and symbolizes "fuck all" although many would like to point out that it symbolizes corporate pricks who use child slaves to produce their wares

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-25-2006 09:52 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by HaLiKuS
Dear NS
Is the answer to the universe 42?
Also, whats the easiest petty revenge to inflict upon an ex-loved one on the net. Teach us a spell

1. Because Douglas Adams said so.

2. Why not sign-up for shitloads of free gifts (you can find lots of free shit portals) then send her/him samples of embarassing stuff... I once had a sampler of "Eros Bodyglide" anal lube sent to a colleague - he loved it

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-25-2006 09:53 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by cupidstunt
Do you have any photos of her with your cock in her mouth? If so put them on a website and email the link to everyone at her work.

Sorry for answering that and stepping on your toes NS. Here is my question.

What time is it?

At the time of me posting this: 08:53 GMT

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-25-2006 09:56 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by cupidstunt
Just in reference to your sig Neversoft. That first movie makes me laugh. 'You wouldn't steal a car, You wouldn't steal a TV so don't steal movies' garbage.

My question is, if you could steal a car and TV withough leaving your own home and with no chance of being caught, would you do it?

No, I'm far more inclined to try and pirate the car and TV because I hate that copy protection they use - making shit out of "parts" n stuff. Corporate fuckstains! Alas, I can't be bothered to try, I'm too preoccupied with power-wanking.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by dukenukem on 03-25-2006 10:43 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Although I have my flaccid moments, I'm generally in a state of permanent arousal. Unfortunately I cannot provide video evidence on VCDQuality due to contractual obligations but feel free to visit my section on www.twinks.com - they accept most major credit cards.

To the best of my knowledge there are no undercover undertakers disguised as download sites on the Internet, but now that you've suggested it one is bound to appear within the week... Beware though, it will have lots of advertisments and drive-by spyware installers!

But wait a minute....
http://www.musicpictures.com/propxt/main/letter~U

__________________
d. nukem

Posted by ZootedLooter on 03-25-2006 12:48 PM:

hey NS

1 - will the box of hate ever have more than 6 members posting?

2 - where the fuck has kal been

3 - in a freeforall last man standing bout who would win....
YTIGAFF
dukenukem
cupidstunt
avenue1
cookie
arfur
mystic
and napalmfuzz
.........play by play results would be nice

4 - which members ov VCDq have actually takin it up the pail

sincerely yours
looter

__________________
zooted adj : 1. under influence of drugs: relaxed, excited, or euphoric from taking illegal drugs, especially marijuana ( slang ) 2. intoxicated: very intoxicated ( informal )
looter n. : someone who takes spoils or plunder (as in war) [syn: plunderer, pillager, spoiler, despoiler, raider, freebooter]

Posted by baha on 03-25-2006 01:17 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by ZootedLooter
hey NS

1 - will the box of hate ever have more than 6 members posting?

2 - where the fuck has kal been

3 - in a freeforall last man standing bout who would win....
YTIGAFF
dukenukem
cupidstunt
avenue1
cookie
arfur
mystic
and napalmfuzz
.........play by play results would be nice

4 - which members ov VCDq have actually takin it up the pail

sincerely yours
looter

let me take a stab at this:

1. the box of who-what-now???

2. who the fuck cares?

3. under the following conditions these people would have no chance:
YTIGAFF - if the rest were all canadian
dukenukem - if it required the use of photoshop
cupidstunt - if the rest were all muslim
avenue1 - if the rest were all straight
cookie - if the rest were all flat chested (or so the rumour goes...)
arfur - if the rest all spoke english
mystic - if the rest all had bad hair days
napalmfuzz - who-what-now???

pitched against each other i'd go for stupidcunt - always bet on the 6 inch foreheaded knuckle scraper:

Posted by The CandyMan on 03-25-2006 01:41 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

How in the hell did this thread reach 127 posts?

And how many licks does it REALLY take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Lollipop? (I don't trust that fucking owl!)

__________________

Posted by Paul Skinback on 03-25-2006 10:07 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

How can i get out of work-experience and annoy/offend some of the cunt-fucks that i worked with/for at the same time ?

Posted by snapshot on 03-25-2006 11:43 PM:

Neversoft,

I recently lost both of my hands in a freak accident with a bottle of lube and a blender but I desperately wanna try this "power wank" you speak of. Can you please explain to me some alternate ways "power wank". Thanks!

your friend,
Nubby

Posted by Neversoft on 03-26-2006 09:53 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by The CandyMan
Dear Neversoft,

How in the hell did this thread reach 127 posts?

And how many licks does it REALLY take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Lollipop? (I don't trust that fucking owl!)

1. Because half of them are my answers

2. Somewhere between 300 and 450 as far as my research goes, although it doesn't say who was licking. If it was your Missus, about 12 licks

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-26-2006 09:55 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Paul Skinback
Dear Neversoft,

How can i get out of work-experience and annoy/offend some of the cunt-fucks that i worked with/for at the same time ?

My best advice is to get caught power-wanking... Into the communal milk in the office refrigerator - just make sure you get caught the 2nd time you do it

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-26-2006 09:56 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by snapshot
Neversoft,

I recently lost both of my hands in a freak accident with a bottle of lube and a blender but I desperately wanna try this "power wank" you speak of. Can you please explain to me some alternate ways "power wank". Thanks!

your friend,
Nubby

Why not stick with what you know?.. Wank using your boyfriends anus instead

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by The CandyMan on 03-26-2006 02:01 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
1. Because half of them are my answers

2. Somewhere between 300 and 450 as far as my research goes, although it doesn't say who was licking. If it was your Missus, about 12 licks

I knew it the fuckin owl lied!

And lest you forget I'm married

Joke:

"Why does every bride smile when she's walking up the aisle at her wedding?

Cause she knows she doesn't have to suck that dick no more!"

Married members will get it.

__________________

Posted by Mr_Grinch on 03-26-2006 02:30 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by The CandyMan

Married members will get it.

I hear a lot that suggests that flat out isn't true.

__________________
<Mr_Grinch> yes. I have aids. Which I got from bumming men.

Posted by The CandyMan on 03-26-2006 02:37 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Mr_Grinch
I hear a lot that suggests that flat out isn't true.

LMAO, keep hopin' Mr_Grinch, keep hopin.

Maybe at the next Speed Dating session you can ask the women "Will you keep sucking my cock even after we're married?"

It happens, just not as much, so the joke holds some truth. I'm lucky to get it 1/4 the times per year I orginally did while dating and I know a few married (and even living with girlfriends) who rarely, if ever, recieve any at all after being together 2 years or longer!

__________________

Posted by desertboy on 03-26-2006 03:19 PM:

Dear neversoft what are the top 5 horses in the grand national in a couple of weeks and what are their respective places.

__________________
You're only in as much trouble as you think you are.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-27-2006 12:36 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by desertboy
Dear neversoft what are the top 5 horses in the grand national in a couple of weeks and what are their respective places.

In order...

1. Ebony Light
2. Hedgehunter
3. Cornish Rebel
4. Clan Royal
5. Jack High

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by David Cameron on 03-27-2006 12:48 PM:

I had a tenner on Hedgehunter to win last year gonna have to back him again this year.

Just checked the odds on Ebony Light, 33-1. Will put 10 on it to place. If it wins I will buy neversoft a babycham

Posted by Neversoft on 03-27-2006 12:57 PM:

Actually, make that a Bacardi Breezer - I'm feeling daring

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Vampire on 03-27-2006 01:13 PM:

All this horse racing talk reminds me of Derek & Clive's horse racing sketch.

"And as they settle down it's Big Tits from Vagina with The Prick tucked in behind these two.

Then comes the blinkered Buttocks being pressed by The Poof."

Posted by lmao2k on 03-30-2006 06:16 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

When will the next ban idol take place?

Posted by Dwaggy on 03-30-2006 09:07 PM:

right now

you won

__________________

i have sigs off

Posted by lmao2k on 03-30-2006 10:51 PM:

there is no love anymore

Posted by Neversoft on 03-31-2006 09:45 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by lmao2k
Dear Neversoft,

When will the next ban idol take place?

I'm not sure but I think I'll draw-up the shortlist in private with the admin and mods then you guys get to vote on those. Possibly including bizzare "tests" for the competitors to try and win favour with the forum... Don't hold your breath though

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by antihero on 03-31-2006 03:13 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

What are the origins of the ongoing rivalry between Lancashire and Yorkshire?

Posted by Neversoft on 03-31-2006 03:26 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by antihero
Dear Neversoft,

What are the origins of the ongoing rivalry between Lancashire and Yorkshire?

I hope you're joking! What the cock do they teach in history class nowadays?

It stems from the "War of the Roses" - which isn't only a shit movie from 1989, it was also a feudal time in the 15th century when the House of York and House of Lancaster decided to kick each other's arses.

I could go on at length but I wont, I'll refer you to here instead.

N.B. It's a well-established fact that people from Yorkshire are better looking and better fighters than people from Lancashire. It should also be noted that people from Lancaster are unable to power-wank due to their mis-shapen thumbs.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Sin on 03-31-2006 03:30 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

Whats a good first car to start driving in seeing as I need to get on the road ASAP now.

Also who are the best insurance providers and whats a decent rate per driving lesson

Posted by Neversoft on 03-31-2006 03:38 PM:

1. Something shit and cheap! Really, buy a total wreck and run the fucker into the ground... Maybe a Nissan Micra or a Metro

2a. www.confused.com

2b. Around here, it's about £15p/h for shit instructors and £25p/h for decent ones. You may also want to consider a "crash course" that lasts a week and guarantees a pass. Why not check www.ukdriving-schools.co.uk

FYI: I don't drive

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by White Rabbit on 03-31-2006 03:39 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Sin
Dear Neversoft,

Whats a good first car to start driving in seeing as I need to get on the road ASAP now.

Also who are the best insurance providers and whats a decent rate per driving lesson

im also looking at similar things, but i think i can help you somewhat

for a car, as long as its around 1.1 or 1.2 and something small you cant go wrong (e.g citroen saxo, ford fiesta, fiat punto etc). im going for a ford fiesta zetec somewhere around S or T reg myself...

dunno about insurance providers, but i've heard tesco are good, and so's that quotemehappy.com one, forgot the name.

a decent rate per driving lesson should be slightly under, or around £20 i think. the AA charge £22 but thats too much imo.

hope all this helps, but yeah, Ask Neversoft...

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by pHo
the difference between compression and encoding is:

compression software works the same way as trying to get The 404, who is 350lbs, through a normal door. its method is to basically keep kicking The 404 until he gets thru the door. This works quickly, but leaves a nasty mess.

encoding software is the equivalent of The 404 going on a diet and walking thru the door. takes longer and sometimes more skill, but ultimately worth it.

Posted by Sin on 03-31-2006 03:41 PM:

yeah im thinking of a small engine so i dont pay more for my insurance than i do for the car

just need a decent insurance provider

quote me happy are norwich union arent they, but still expensive :S need to shop around a bit

So NS come up with the goods!

Posted by Dwaggy on 03-31-2006 03:49 PM:

HELLO,

I AM MBAMBE UMBUMBA OF INSURANC ECOMPANY NI-GERIA. I AM KINDLY REQUESTING THE SUM OF ONE THOUSAND (1,000) BRITISH POUNDS TO BE DEPOSITED INTO MY BANK ACCOUNT. SEND YOUR ROUTING DETAILS IMMEDIATELY.

__________________

i have sigs off

Posted by Neversoft on 03-31-2006 03:52 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Some moron who can't read
yeah im thinking of a small engine so i dont pay more for my insurance than i do for the car

just need a decent insurance provider

quote me happy are norwich union arent they, but still expensive :S need to shop around a bit

So NS come up with the goods!

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
1. Something shit and cheap! Really, buy a total wreck and run the fucker into the ground... Maybe a Nissan Micra or a Metro

2a. www.confused.com

2b. Around here, it's about £15p/h for shit instructors and £25p/h for decent ones. You may also want to consider a "crash course" that lasts a week and guarantees a pass. Why not check www.ukdriving-schools.co.uk

FYI: I don't drive

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Sin on 03-31-2006 04:08 PM:

you expect me to read all 8 pages of this?

still thanks for the link

Posted by antihero on 03-31-2006 04:23 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
I hope you're joking! What the cock do they teach in history class nowadays?

It stems from the "War of the Roses" - which isn't only a shit movie from 1989, it was also a feudal time in the 15th century when the House of York and House of Lancaster decided to kick each other's arses.

I could go on at length but I wont, I'll refer you to here instead.

N.B. It's a well-established fact that people from Yorkshire are better looking and better fighters than people from Lancashire. It should also be noted that people from Lancaster are unable to power-wank due to their mis-shapen thumbs.

afraid not. during my history lessons (1984-1987) all we learnt was crop rotation and bloody history of farming, not of the important stuff, like how we kept getting pasted (it pains me to say that) by you tykes, although i reckon we should bury the hatchet and invade Wales.

Can you speak Yorkshireish?

quote:
The Wars of the Roses, with their heavy casualties among the nobility, would usher in a period of great social upheaval in feudal England and ironically lead to the fall of the Plantagenet dynasty. The period would see the decline of English influence on the Continent, a weakening of the feudal power of the nobles and by default a strengthening of the merchant classes, and the growth of a strong, centralized monarchy under the Tudors.

At least we are both responsible for creating the working classes and producing a monarchy with shitty pudding bowl haircuts

Posted by doctor zoidy on 03-31-2006 09:27 PM:

two questions:

When mixing chocolate milk, aka milk and hershey's chocolate syrup, which should be added to the cup first, the milk or the syrup. AND, does the recipe change when a chocolate powder is substituted?

secondly, when do i get my damned book forum?

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Thats alot of words for someone that sells DVDs out of the back of a truck

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Read zoidys comment for clarification.

Posted by Bakkoda on 03-31-2006 09:55 PM:

Is my avatar going to be a bother to those people who browse this forum at work?

::I was making high/drunken faces in my webcam wearing a bra on my head and lo and behold I look and the crazy womans has her jigglys out.

Posted by Mother on 03-31-2006 10:30 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by doctor zoidy
two questions:

When mixing chocolate milk, aka milk and hershey's chocolate syrup, which should be added to the cup first, the milk or the syrup.

It doesn't matter. See the Commutative Law of Addition.

Posted by doctor zoidy on 04-01-2006 12:02 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Mother
It doesn't matter. See the Commutative Law of Addition.

which would be great if it was math and not a recipe (albeit very simplistic, it is a recipe). even in non-cooking circles, recipes are more than add this or add that. ask anyone thats ever mixed concrete or mortar, you could fill the bucket with water and then dump in the mix, or you could fill the bucket with mix then add water, or you could not struggle with it and mix a little bit of each at a time.

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Thats alot of words for someone that sells DVDs out of the back of a truck

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Read zoidys comment for clarification.

Posted by ZootedLooter on 04-01-2006 01:02 AM:

boredom erodes the mind into a debate over oval-fuckin-teen

shocking

::not to mention bakkodas need to post his girls tittie shake for all of you deviants to "power-wank" to

i love this place

Posted by desertboy on 04-01-2006 02:47 PM:

Dear Neversoft how do I pull these 2 girls at the same time

__________________
You're only in as much trouble as you think you are.

Posted by Mr_Grinch on 04-01-2006 02:51 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
N.B. It's a well-established fact that people from Yorkshire are better looking and better fighters than people from Lancashire. It should also be noted that people from Lancaster are unable to power-wank due to their mis-shapen thumbs.

I'm originally from Lancashire/Cumbria and now live in Yorkshire. Most of the people here are horrendously 'troll' like.

__________________
<Mr_Grinch> yes. I have aids. Which I got from bumming men.

Posted by Takkouri on 04-01-2006 07:50 PM:

a boring question but i liked the athalon, intel analogy, so ati or nvidia?

Posted by bartleby on 04-01-2006 08:33 PM:

dear neversoft
just downloaded this stay alive movie apprently by maVen my question is.. is it real and have maVen finally got pissed off with people stealing releases and decided to watermark them ?

__________________
snoochie boochies

Posted by Mother on 04-04-2006 10:23 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Theres a bitch of a 90s house track i got but i be buggerd dry if i can remember the title

It's "Brothers and Sisters" by 2 Funky 2.

Posted by Neversoft on 04-04-2006 10:41 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by doctor zoidy
two questions:

When mixing chocolate milk, aka milk and hershey's chocolate syrup, which should be added to the cup first, the milk or the syrup. AND, does the recipe change when a chocolate powder is substituted?

secondly, when do i get my damned book forum?

Put the syrup/powder in first then add the milk, it aids mixing. Also, you may want to consider a Milk Whipper (works great for coffee too):

As for the book forum, PM one of our illustrious Admin and ask them

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 04-04-2006 10:44 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Bakkoda
Is my avatar going to be a bother to those people who browse this forum at work?

Possibly! I causes problems for me for starters and to remain consistent with previous wrist-slaps for peoples avatars... You should change it

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 04-04-2006 10:48 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by desertboy
Dear Neversoft how do I pull these 2 girls at the same time

Simple... Print one of the numerous pictures of myself from this forum and wear it as a mask. Find the women, and simply say: "Hi, I'm Neversoft... Time for some fucktion!" and you'll be sorted.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 04-04-2006 10:53 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Takkouri
a boring question but i liked the athalon, intel analogy, so ati or nvidia?

I'm currently running ATI in both my PC's but I understand Nvidia has the edge at the moment with the high-end cards. So it comes down to money...

If you want a decent-priced, fast GFX card... Go with ATI but if you want to spend the GDP of a small country on the fastest bastard around, grab Nvidia and go SLI.

If you want an analogy, try thinking of ATI as Christina Aguilera and Nvidia as Christina Aguilera in the "Dirty" video

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 04-04-2006 10:57 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by bartleby
dear neversoft
just downloaded this stay alive movie apprently by maVen my question is.. is it real and have maVen finally got pissed off with people stealing releases and decided to watermark them ?

Considering the watermark was as popular as Bird Flu, they probably wont go to that extent again but expect further "measures" by them to prevent re-encodes... Hopefully they'll stick with "flashing" the logo up for a few frames from time-to-time but fuck knows why - anybody who knows about this shit can spot a re-encode from a mile away so its not really needed.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by YTIGAFF on 04-04-2006 11:22 AM:

ear Neversoft

who finally banned theat stupid fucking faggot dook?

__________________

«Avenue_1 The FAGGOT online.»

Posted by Neversoft on 04-04-2006 11:23 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by YTIGAFF
ear Neversoft

who finally banned theat stupid fucking faggot dook?

Dwaggy I think, cos I didn't have the privs to do it cos of the stupid fucking user group he was in

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Dwaggy on 04-04-2006 11:40 AM:

i'm in ur base

stealing ur bans

__________________

i have sigs off

Posted by Neversoft on 04-04-2006 12:09 PM:

FUKURRR!!

I bet you were power-wanking at the time as well

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by punzada on 04-05-2006 08:15 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Possibly! I causes problems for me for starters and to remain consistent with previous wrist-slaps for peoples avatars... You should change it

Says the man with the pink hairy cock in his avatar.

Anyway,

Dear Neversoft,

How can I legally (at least, for the most part) make large amounts of cash with the most minimal effort or creativity possible?

Posted by Neversoft on 04-05-2006 09:51 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by punzada
Says the man with the pink hairy cock in his avatar.

Anyway,

Dear Neversoft,

How can I legally (at least, for the most part) make large amounts of cash with the most minimal effort or creativity possible?

Nobody finds cartoon cocks offensive, do they?

I'll change it because I love you!

As for making money... Why not power-wank online in front of a webcam and charge people for the pleasure of watching? Or maybe you could consider selling drugs to children.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by punzada on 04-05-2006 05:17 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Nobody finds cartoon cocks offensive, do they? I'll change it because I love you!

As for making money... Why not power-wank online in front of a webcam and charge people for the pleasure of watching? Or maybe you could consider selling drugs to children.

Power-wanking requires EXTREME effort, so that I do not find to be a valid choice. Selling drugs to children would work but their small bodies need less of said substances to get fucked up, so I would need to go with a better customer base.

Posted by Neversoft on 04-05-2006 05:50 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by punzada
Power-wanking requires EXTREME effort, so that I do not find to be a valid choice. Selling drugs to children would work but their small bodies need less of said substances to get fucked up, so I would need to go with a better customer base.

ok, why not sell your dirty underwear and trainers/sneakers on eBay? You could purchase undies for next-to-nothing, wear them until soiled then sell them to perverts online - You could also save money by not washing yourself and letting your nether regions spiral downwards into a quagmire of clotted shit, spunk and pubes... The resulting stains will make your online profits soar!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Lord_Gandalf on 04-07-2006 03:33 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

When can we expect another beautiful painting on your ass?

Posted by Neversoft on 04-09-2006 12:58 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Lord_Gandalf
Dear Neversoft,

When can we expect another beautiful painting on your ass?

I haven't wiped for several weeks so at the moment it's more like a sculpture than a canvas... I'll ask my Girlfriend, she has an airbrushing kit that needs testing

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Mystic Slippers on 04-09-2006 01:01 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by desertboy
Dear Neversoft how do I pull these 2 girls at the same time

Move to Bradford coz that's where those two girls are from.

Posted by J Fresh on 04-12-2006 06:58 AM:

Hey Fuckface,

Why do people complain about videos being too dark. I have this super secret function that makes my TV brighter and even has presets for such the occasion.

Just wondering
Yours fistfully.....

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 04-12-2006 05:16 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by J Fresh
Hey Fuckface,

Why do people complain about videos being too dark. I have this super secret function that makes my TV brighter and even has presets for such the occasion.

Just wondering
Yours fistfully.....

Because people are douches... Or they may have glaucoma. Don't worry about it, let them suffer!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by David Cameron on 04-12-2006 06:51 PM:

Dear Neversoft

I have lost my watch, where the fuck is it ?

Posted by doctor zoidy on 04-12-2006 08:02 PM:

The recent music video thread has made me think back to my days in europe fondly, and my quest for a video by TurntableRocker.

I don't remember the song title, but they were in a race, with the screen split (top and bottom, like a side scroller video game) and kept changing form, robots, ostriches, things like that.

Any clue?

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Thats alot of words for someone that sells DVDs out of the back of a truck

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Read zoidys comment for clarification.

Posted by Neversoft on 04-13-2006 12:52 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by cupidstunt
Dear Neversoft

I have lost my watch, where the fuck is it ?

Traditionally, it's always in the last place you look! Although, personally I think you've left it in the bathroom.

Why not stare at this, it will help you remember: http://www.clublaugh.com/es-items/712.swf

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 04-13-2006 01:08 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by doctor zoidy
The recent music video thread has made me think back to my days in europe fondly, and my quest for a video by TurntableRocker.

I don't remember the song title, but they were in a race, with the screen split (top and bottom, like a side scroller video game) and kept changing form, robots, ostriches, things like that.

Any clue?

Ah, you mean "A Little Funk" from their album "Classic" - here's the video: http://www.turntablerocker.com/video/a_little_funk.mov

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Pickles on 04-13-2006 05:06 AM:

Dear NeverSoft,
I am forced, yet again, to go to Ohio next week. Should I seek out TheCandyMan and Para? or is Backdoor_Alley1 right .. Will they try to bugger me?

Posted by J Fresh on 04-13-2006 05:09 AM:

yay ohio, my state!!! just stay away from it. we dont want you here

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 04-13-2006 05:47 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Pickles
Dear NeverSoft,
I am forced, yet again, to go to Ohio next week. Should I seek out TheCandyMan and Para? or is Backdoor_Alley1 right .. Will they try to bugger me?

Yes... You should seek them out, it's the closest you'll ever get to having friends. Also, they will try to bugger you - this is also the closest you'll ever get to having real friends. Basically, nobody likes you, except desperate (and raging) faggots... Like ManCandy and Para

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by YTIGAFF on 04-13-2006 01:48 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
...Also, they will try to bugger you -

__________________

«Avenue_1 The FAGGOT online.»

Posted by The CandyMan on 04-13-2006 02:15 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
they will try to bugger you

More likely the other way around.

__________________

Posted by Lord_Gandalf on 04-25-2006 02:44 AM:

Dear Neversoft,

What is St. George's Day?

Posted by Fionn McCool on 04-25-2006 12:18 PM:

Dear Neversoft.

Is playing Counter Strike for 14 hours straight bad for you and will I ever be good at it?

Posted by Shameless Bill on 04-25-2006 01:29 PM:

Dear neversoft- is this video the actual capture of Osama Bin Laden or just a cheap home video posted on the internet?

www.putfile.com/shamelessbill

PS; I'm with stupid.

__________________
Now you Bastards will have to respect me!

Look at my Title!!

Posted by Dwaggy on 04-25-2006 01:35 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Fionn McCool
Dear Neversoft.

Is playing Counter Strike for 14 hours straight bad for you and will I ever be good at it?

lol

You *have* been getting better by the way. Still no reflexes though

__________________

i have sigs off

Posted by Neversoft on 04-25-2006 05:25 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Lord_Gandalf
Dear Neversoft,

What is St. George's Day?

It's an excuse for people from England to get drunk... It should also be a public holiday but the cunts in the Government don't want that

More info here: www.stgeorgesday.com

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 04-25-2006 05:27 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Fionn McCool
Dear Neversoft.

Is playing Counter Strike for 14 hours straight bad for you and will I ever be good at it?

It's probably bad for your joints and eyes, try and take a break every couple of hours and stretch your legs - maybe even have a power-wank. Irrespective of how much you play, there will always be some cheating fucker with some auto-snipe shit, so being good at the game still wont guarantee a "win"

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 04-25-2006 05:29 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Shameless Bill
Dear neversoft- is this video the actual capture of Osama Bin Laden or just a cheap home video posted on the internet?

www.putfile.com/shamelessbill

PS; I'm with stupid.

No, no it isn't... and that's WITHOUT me even viewing the movie

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Paul Skinback on 04-25-2006 09:27 PM:

Dear Neversoft,
When will DVB-H TV be available nationwide, and will it cost to watch on a dvb-h enabled phone ?

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
try thinking of ATI as Christina Aguilera and Nvidia as Christina Aguilera in the "Dirty" video

Posted by Mother on 04-25-2006 09:49 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by desertboy
Dear Neversoft how do I pull these 2 girls at the same time

Rohypnol is your friend.

Posted by Vampire on 04-25-2006 10:01 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

Why does the bloody VPN connection to my company always drop out when I am halfway through creating a diagram or a technical proposal? Am I e-cursed and, if so, how do I lift it?

Posted by Neversoft on 04-26-2006 02:05 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Paul Skinback
Dear Neversoft,
When will DVB-H TV be available nationwide, and will it cost to watch on a dvb-h enabled phone ?

The best date I can offer is "Before 2011" which is it's European roll-out completion date, I think.

As for cost... Have you ever seen mobile phone operators offering anything for free? No you haven't, because they're twunts! It will cost, and it will probably cost enough to piss you off and prevent you from watching

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Lord_Gandalf on 04-26-2006 03:54 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

What the hell happened to peoples post count?

Posted by Dwaggy on 04-26-2006 04:15 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Lord_Gandalf
Dear Neversoft,

What the hell happened to peoples post count?

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
waaah why cant we see the postcount anymore waah

__________________

i have sigs off

Posted by Neversoft on 04-26-2006 05:14 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Lord_Gandalf
Dear Neversoft,

What the hell happened to peoples post count?

Answer: Dwaggy happened

Count your power-wanks instead. I'm up to my 7th today

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Prasman on 04-26-2006 06:20 PM:

Dear Neversoft.

Since last nights Windows upgrade XP keeps telling me I might have a counterfitted XP installation...

How do I get rid of it? (without doing the obvious £££)

<edit> thatnks you already answered this in another thread</edit>

__________________
mfg
Prasman
bring back Quality TS

Posted by Xler on 05-02-2006 10:53 PM:

Dear Neversoft,
I can't seem to find a Dallas Mavericks Hat in the state of florida, do stretch hats ordered online, really stretch to fit?

Posted by Neversoft on 05-03-2006 05:32 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Xler
Dear Neversoft,
I can't seem to find a Dallas Mavericks Hat in the state of florida, do stretch hats ordered online, really stretch to fit?

Kind of, but it depends on how big your head is... If you look like a Chupa Chup, you're fucked

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by doctor zoidy on 05-18-2006 08:45 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

Many questions stuffed into one post:

1. What is the best country to live in, after accounting for things like personal liberty, monetary wealth, technological availability, and hot women (respectively)?

2. As a pastafarian, our Most Noodly Lord has decreed that Friday is a holiday, akin to the sabbath of the Judeo-Christian religion. Do you think I would have grounds for demanding the day off when i rejoin the army next week?

3. Last night I had a strange bladder/urinary problem. It felt like I had to urinate every 2-3 minutes, and only a slight stream (less than 20 mL) came out each time. I ended up sitting on the toilet reading for about 20 minutes while having short spurts of urine every other minute. Is this a UTI or should I get checked out?

My Son

4a. Doesn't really play with his toys, at all. He plays with his toy vaccuum and broom, sometimes the toy drill, unplugging and pluging composite A/V cables, and a small selection of Dora toys. Does his lack of play indicate a disproportioned sense of creativity to monotonous tasks, and should I worry that he won't truly enjoy his childhood?

4b. Love Dora the Explorer, won't watch anything else. He has dora toys, a backpack, plays with mom's purse, is left handed, and enjoys country music. Is he my son?

4c. Wont take a bath unless I get in the tub with him, won't even bath with mother. When added to his left-handedness and Dora fetish, should I worry about his early sexual orientation?

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Thats alot of words for someone that sells DVDs out of the back of a truck

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Read zoidys comment for clarification.

Posted by BlueSoulJah on 05-18-2006 09:47 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

I've just bought a Peugeot 206 1.4LX from a car auction and the fucker didn't come with a manual. As such I haven't got a clue how to use the air conditioning. Do you know where I can find an online manual for this car?

Posted by Vampire on 05-19-2006 12:00 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by BlueSoulJah
I've just bought a Peugeot 206 1.4LX. I haven't got a clue how to use the air conditioning.

I'm pretty sure that on that model of car.... you open the windows.

Posted by |V|USTANG_FAN on 05-19-2006 12:38 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Vampire
I'm pretty sure that on that model of car.... you open the windows.

hahahaha

__________________

Posted by Striped on 05-19-2006 12:50 AM:

Dear Neversoft:-

The mrs wants a baby but I hate the little fuckers, ive been pulling out and blarting it in her face but she's getting wise to that, and it's all getting a bit intense, so what do I do?

Posted by Neversoft on 05-19-2006 11:27 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by doctor zoidy
Dear Neversoft,

Many questions stuffed into one post:

1. What is the best country to live in, after accounting for things like personal liberty, monetary wealth, technological availability, and hot women (respectively)?

2. As a pastafarian, our Most Noodly Lord has decreed that Friday is a holiday, akin to the sabbath of the Judeo-Christian religion. Do you think I would have grounds for demanding the day off when i rejoin the army next week?

3. Last night I had a strange bladder/urinary problem. It felt like I had to urinate every 2-3 minutes, and only a slight stream (less than 20 mL) came out each time. I ended up sitting on the toilet reading for about 20 minutes while having short spurts of urine every other minute. Is this a UTI or should I get checked out?

My Son

4a. Doesn't really play with his toys, at all. He plays with his toy vaccuum and broom, sometimes the toy drill, unplugging and pluging composite A/V cables, and a small selection of Dora toys. Does his lack of play indicate a disproportioned sense of creativity to monotonous tasks, and should I worry that he won't truly enjoy his childhood?

4b. Love Dora the Explorer, won't watch anything else. He has dora toys, a backpack, plays with mom's purse, is left handed, and enjoys country music. Is he my son?

4c. Wont take a bath unless I get in the tub with him, won't even bath with mother. When added to his left-handedness and Dora fetish, should I worry about his early sexual orientation?

WOAH! You are a trouble soul aren't you? I'll do my best to help:

1. Somewhere in Scandinavia... Mainly for the hot women, but they're not poor countries either.

2. Feign mental illness, it's easier.

3. It sounds like Cisitis... Drink a large glass of water an hour or so before bed and avoid pissing just after you shot your load.

4a. You don't say how old your son is but I suspect he's a toddler (if he's a teenager, you have problems). I suspect there's either one of two things going off here - either he prefers other forms of entertainment such as TV, therefore you should cut down on the amount of TV he watches or he isn't stimulated enough by his toys, especially if he's particularly intelligent. Try toys that offer a little more "feedback" such as a Zig Zag Zog and educational toys - such as interactive books or a VTech console (the VSmile is particularly good). If you'd prefer not to spend a shitload on new toys, most kids can entertain themselves for hours with little more than a few plastic coins or some crayons and paper. For more information check out anything by a rather genius Brit woman called Dr Tanya Byron and visit (a UK site admittedly) called www.Raisingkids.co.uk

4b. All kids love Dora (and the Backyardigans and Blues Clues) but try and introduce a few "boyish" elements into his viewing... Power Rangers is a good start, followed by the occaisional PG movie that he can watch with you - I know of one kid who loves the movie Zathura simply because the robot makes him jump!

4c. Make bathtime fun! I know I bleat-on about my girlfriends kid but he's the only proper example I have... Get a selection of bath toys and try reverse psychology - on bath night, "threaten" him with not being able to play with his toys in the bath and don't be afraid to get wet when he is having a bath. Be more assertive, tell him he's having a bath, "wont" shouldn't come into it. Don't be worried about left-handedness, even if he turns out to be a murderer or serial rapist (which most left-handed people are) - be understanding and hopefully it wont affect his future power-wanking.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 05-19-2006 12:05 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by BlueSoulJah
Dear Neversoft,

I've just bought a Peugeot 206 1.4LX from a car auction and the fucker didn't come with a manual. As such I haven't got a clue how to use the air conditioning. Do you know where I can find an online manual for this car?

Do you mean it's not working or you simply can't get it to work? My colleague (by a rare fluke) has the exact same car, here's what he says:

"It's a button below the stereo, below the slider, it's the leftmost of the three buttons. There is however, a known issue with Peugeot A/C being fucked* and causing condensation on the inside of the car." I reckon I can also obtain the manual to scan the twat if you want

*Apparently it's something to do with the A/Cs clutch that seizes and causes it not to work - even though all the lights are on.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 05-19-2006 12:07 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Striped
Dear Neversoft:-

The mrs wants a baby but I hate the little fuckers, ive been pulling out and blarting it in her face but she's getting wise to that, and it's all getting a bit intense, so what do I do?

Don't worry about it... Splooge up her chuff as much as you want but once you've finished, stand her up and start tapping her head like a ketchup bottle until she's stood in a puddle of clotted manjuice. You could also try blowing pepper or snuff into her face and hoping she'll blast it out when she sneezes (also feels good on the cock if you're still in her!)

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Striped on 05-19-2006 12:12 PM:

You da man!

Fantastic i'd never have thought of that, a pat of the head it is then

Posted by BlueSoulJah on 05-19-2006 01:56 PM:

Neversoft,

I have that button, but don't know if you have to set the blower a certain way, the temperature a certain way or the level of the blower (it's how it works in a mate's volvo). If you could scan it, then that would be awesome.

Cheers.

Posted by The CandyMan on 05-19-2006 02:53 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
You could also try blowing pepper or snuff into her face and hoping she'll blast it out when she sneezes (also feels good on the cock if you're still in her!)

I beg to differ Neversoft. The last time my wife sneezed while we were otherwise engaged, it felt like my member was being mutilated! Is there another way to enjoy this with out having the feeling of your schlong being cut in two?

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 05-19-2006 03:57 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by The CandyMan
I beg to differ Neversoft. The last time my wife sneezed while we were otherwise engaged, it felt like my member was being mutilated! Is there another way to enjoy this with out having the feeling of your schlong being cut in two?

Well, she would exert less pressure with her sphincter, so I guess you could fuck her in the arse... You have an excuse now!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 05-19-2006 04:01 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by BlueSoulJah
Neversoft,

I have that button, but don't know if you have to set the blower a certain way, the temperature a certain way or the level of the blower (it's how it works in a mate's volvo). If you could scan it, then that would be awesome.

Cheers.

No... You have the A/C on and off button and the numbered dial - so long as the dial aint on 0, you're rosy. To test it, put it on 4 with the A/C button off. Wait. Then turn the A/C on, within minutes it should be dramatically colder - unless it's fucked.

The guy will have a look for the manual, otherwise I'll photograph the fucking dash and draw diagrams on it but my "expert" says the above is all there is to it... It's very basic A/C.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by The CandyMan on 05-19-2006 09:18 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Well, she would exert less pressure with her sphincter, so I guess you could fuck her in the arse... You have an excuse now!

Cool, I'll try it tonight, but if she slaps me again, can I blame it on you?!?!

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 05-24-2006 12:48 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by The CandyMan
Cool, I'll try it tonight, but if she slaps me again, can I blame it on you?!?!

No... but I can point you towards a good supply of Rohypnol.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Mother on 06-16-2006 09:51 AM:

Neversoft, I've heard that there's a spoof trailer of The Sound of Music that makes the film out to be a horror. The von Trapp kids are made out to be undead zombies or demonically possessed or something. Find it for me.

Here's some more spoof trailers:
Titanic II
10 Things I Hate About Commandments
The Shining (comedy)
Must Love Jaws
Brokeback to the Future

Posted by lmao2k on 06-16-2006 10:48 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Mother
Neversoft, I've heard that there's a spoof trailer of The Sound of Music that makes the film out to be a horror. The von Trapp kids are made out to be undead zombies or demonically possessed or something. Find it for me.

Here's some more spoof trailers:
Titanic II
10 Things I Hate About Commandments
The Shining (comedy)
Must Love Jaws
Brokeback to the Future

Bloody good spoofs there. Some of those story lines seem better than the originals

Posted by doctor zoidy on 06-16-2006 01:58 PM:

Sleepless in Seattle Suspense Horror

West Side Story Zombie Horror
Fast and the Curious

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Thats alot of words for someone that sells DVDs out of the back of a truck

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Read zoidys comment for clarification.

Posted by Neversoft on 06-16-2006 03:39 PM:

Fuck off... I'm going on holiday \o/

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by lmao2k on 06-16-2006 04:27 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Fuck off... I'm going on holiday \o/

Dear Neversoft,

Where are you off on holiday to?

Posted by Dwaggy on 06-16-2006 06:45 PM:

This thread is pretty big heh!

__________________

i have sigs off

Posted by David Cameron on 06-16-2006 09:44 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
This thread is pretty big heh!

Neversofts wisdom is boundless

Posted by bartleby on 06-16-2006 10:43 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by doctor zoidy
Fast and the Curious

that was great

__________________
snoochie boochies

Posted by David Cameron on 06-17-2006 12:27 AM:

Dear Neversoft

What are the bounds of your wisdom

Posted by Neversoft on 06-17-2006 04:46 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by lmao2k
Dear Neversoft,

Where are you off on holiday to?

Spain

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 06-17-2006 04:46 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
This thread is pretty big heh!

Yes, yes it is

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 06-17-2006 04:49 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cupidstunt
Dear Neversoft

What are the bounds of your wisdom

I don't know, but I suspect it's infinite.

I'm flying in a few hours ladies, pray for me, pray that I don't get flown into the side of Buckingham Palace by Jihadists

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Sin on 06-17-2006 06:50 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
I don't know, but I suspect it's infinite.

I'm flying in a few hours ladies, pray for me, pray that I don't get flown into the side of Buckingham Palace by Jihadists

Ill call up all my darkie friends and tell them to not blow up any planes tonight.

You owe me!

Posted by cobalt on 06-27-2006 11:17 AM:

Dear Neversoft,

Could you go forth to the gem filled mine of knowledge and find for the instructions for putting together a "Predator" full suspension mountain bike made by a company called Emmelle?

Yours truly,
Bikeless from UK

Posted by Arthur Daily on 07-18-2006 12:42 AM:

Dear Neversoft (or anyone)

When i boot by PC, Windows starts but stops at the "click on User account" screen.
You know, Like when there's more than one account on windows.

But there isnt, there just me,

(billy no mates)

How can i fix it, so that windows starts without me having to click on ADMINISTRATOR, at the welcome screen?

__________________
*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

Posted by fatfecker on 07-18-2006 01:15 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
How can i fix it, so that windows starts without me having to click on ADMINISTRATOR, at the welcome screen?

Start-settings-control panel
User Accounts
Change the way users log on or off
Untick use the Welcome screen

Posted by Neversoft on 07-18-2006 01:15 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by cobalt
Dear Neversoft,

Could you go forth to the gem filled mine of knowledge and find for the instructions for putting together a "Predator" full suspension mountain bike made by a company called Emmelle?

Yours truly,
Bikeless from UK

Alas, I failed on this particular task (and believe me, I looked - hard!). Might I suggest contacting the manufacturer?

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 07-18-2006 01:18 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Dear Neversoft (or anyone)

When i boot by PC, Windows starts but stops at the "click on User account" screen.
You know, Like when there's more than one account on windows.

But there isnt, there just me,

(billy no mates)

How can i fix it, so that windows starts without me having to click on ADMINISTRATOR, at the welcome screen?

Ignore FatFeckers post, it wont get the "Autologin" result you want, just give you a faux Windows 2000 login screen instead. I know that an application called Tune-Up Utilities can set an account as auto-login but I suspect there's a registry key that you can hit instead... Leave it with me, I'll edit my post when I have more information.

::EDIT::

Click Start, Run and type CONTROL USERPASSWORDS2, and click Ok. Select the user account from the list (to which account you want to automatically logon). Uncheck "Users must enter a user name and password to use this computer" option, and click Ok. Type the user account password and complete the process.

For Windows XP Home, don't try to auto-login as the built-in Administrator, as you'll receive a restrictions error.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by pHo on 07-18-2006 01:56 AM:

Dear Neversoft,

Am I going to jail?

love pHo

__________________
563-773-1880

<Dwaggy> i caught you a delicious Bass
<The404> This is because you are an idiot

Posted by Neversoft on 07-18-2006 01:58 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by pHo
Dear Neversoft,

Am I going to jail?

love pHo

Yes, but not for the crimes you think you're going to jail for... The sheep consented. You will eventually go to jail for crimes against humanity unless a lynch mob gets to you first.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by ZootedLooter on 07-19-2006 12:59 AM:

hey neversoft

it seems to be that jimi hendrix has covered at least 3 bob dylan songs....

1. the well known "all along the watchtower"
2. and also lesser known is a live version of "like a roling stone" recorded at the monterey pop fest

the song i am actually looking for eludes me...i heard it once and dont remember the title...

please stun me with your all reaching research skills
looter

Posted by Xler on 07-19-2006 08:06 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Yes, but not for the crimes you think you're going to jail for... The sheep consented.

lmfao

Dear Neversoft, should I buy a 2004 Cobra or buy a 2003 mustang gt and save my money?

Posted by Horton on 07-19-2006 10:25 AM:

Dear Neversoft

Why do I fail at life?

Posted by Pickles on 07-20-2006 03:28 AM:

Dear Neversoft,
Why am I always in a state of arousal? I power wank often enough, yet I seem to have this urge to grab the nearest female near me and bang her in the bum. Should I seek help?

Posted by Neversoft on 07-20-2006 10:59 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by ZootedLooter
hey neversoft

it seems to be that jimi hendrix has covered at least 3 bob dylan songs....

1. the well known "all along the watchtower"
2. and also lesser known is a live version of "like a roling stone" recorded at the monterey pop fest

the song i am actually looking for eludes me...i heard it once and dont remember the title...

please stun me with your all reaching research skills
looter

I suspect you're thinking of either "Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window" or "Drifter's Escape"

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 07-20-2006 11:00 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Xler
lmfao

Dear Neversoft, should I buy a 2004 Cobra or buy a 2003 mustang gt and save my money?

In the current political climate, I'd recommend you go for the cheaper option as that money would be better invested in fuel and a decent sounds system in the bastard

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 07-20-2006 11:02 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Horton
Dear Neversoft

Why do I fail at life?

You simply haven't found the correct motivation... Unless you smoke weed. If you smoke weed, stop - weed and ambition are mutually exclusive

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 07-20-2006 11:04 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Pickles
Dear Neversoft,
Why am I always in a state of arousal?

Because you have a penis... Live with it, it's like that until you hit 60, at which point you'll need Viagra just to avoid pissing on your feet

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 07-20-2006 06:22 PM:

Neversoft... Why are you so good looking and generally awesome? Why do all the girls dig you so much?

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 07-20-2006 06:23 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Neversoft... Why are you so good looking and generally awesome? Why do all the girls dig you so much?

I dunno, I'd suggest genetics but most of my family members are profoundly ugly. Also, your first question answers the second one!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by baha on 07-20-2006 06:32 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Neversoft... Why are you so good looking and generally awesome? Why do all the girls dig you so much?

Because you look gay. Or at least all the girls think you do and don't feel threatened by you and are therefore comfortable in your company. However, that also explains why you don't get laid half as much as you'd expect to: a lot of the time your lustful desires are mistakenly perceived and the relationship fizzles out into a platonic nothingness. And the rest of the time they feel decieved when they find that you'd like to put your needle in their thimble.

Does that help?

Posted by Sin on 07-20-2006 07:57 PM:

Dear Neversoft, I recently received this cartoon on a mailing list and was wondering if you could translate it so I too can enjoy the hilarity

Posted by Neversoft on 07-20-2006 08:20 PM:

It's probably funnier in Dutch and my translation is probably slightly off but it goes something like this...

quote:

Ed's vouwaap: Waldo is weg gelopen...
Ed's monkey: It's run away...

We hebben Ice-T-man, de held op de zaak gezet en...
We have Ice-T-Man and have put our hero on the matter...

de bel... ed kun jij...
The bell... Ed, it's probably for you...

ik zag hem bij de buurvrouw! hij wil zich alleen niet meer ontvouwen
I found him at your neighbours! He wont wake up.

WALDO!! Lieve waldo je bent terug!! Eindelijk!!
WALDO!! My kind Waldo!! At last!!

Weer de bel
The bell

Dag Bram! Er is net bij me ingebroken!
Hello Bram! I've been burgled!

Oh Dag buurvrouw
Oh hello neighbour

en ik... ED!!! Wat doe jij met mijn bekrenvel-bikini!?
and I... ED!!! What are you doing with my fur bikini!?

I'm sure the Dutch members of the forum will now point out how shit my translation skills are

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by J Fresh on 07-20-2006 08:32 PM:

hey neversoft...

there's this girl...she seems cool and all but she's 17...but that's not the question, the question is How can I pick up her 12 year old sister?

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 07-20-2006 09:09 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by J Fresh
hey neversoft...

there's this girl...she seems cool and all but she's 17...but that's not the question, the question is How can I pick up her 12 year old sister?

She's morbidly obese... I'd recommend a fork lift.

If you mean "pick her up" with regards to throwing some cock in her direction: I'd recommend platform shoes, a bad record career and a spikey mullet - Gary Glitter doesn't seem to have any problems "picking up" 12-year-olds.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 07-20-2006 09:39 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cobalt
Dear Neversoft,

Could you go forth to the gem filled mine of knowledge and find for the instructions for putting together a "Predator" full suspension mountain bike made by a company called Emmelle?

Yours truly,
Bikeless from UK

I've tried and tried and tried to find this info for you but I haven't *quite* got the answer you're looking for. What I do have though, is the contact details for the manufacturer

Moore Large & Co Ltd
Sinfin Lane Industrial Estate
Sinfin Lane
Derby, DE24 9GL

[email protected]
tel 01332 274200
fax 01332 274201

\o/

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by fatfecker on 07-21-2006 10:47 AM:

Dear Neversoft,

Why does everyone (who is not in IT) think that IT jobs pay well?

And is the housing market going to crash soon?

Posted by ZootedLooter on 07-21-2006 11:46 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
I suspect you're thinking of either "Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window" or "Drifter's Escape"

drifters escape.....

i spent a better part of an hour looking for that shit the other day.....thats a record for the looter

thanx

Posted by syne on 07-22-2006 02:05 AM:

dear neversoft, how come the forums here are possibly the most amusing thing on the net aside from old bill hicks routines and what the fuck does nsz stand for in the pink forum?
lube or no lube for power wanks?

Posted by Neversoft on 07-22-2006 03:22 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by fatfecker
Dear Neversoft,

Why does everyone (who is not in IT) think that IT jobs pay well?

And is the housing market going to crash soon?

Because for every 23-or-so bottom feeders, there's always some 3rd/4th-line twunt with a company car and a £40k salary, who's only 25 years old and dresses like a Soprano... Therefore undoing all the hard work that the lower echelons do to convince people that I.T isn't a cushy number. So yeah, blame the few I.T "rock stars" for not keeping their fucking gobs (and wallets?) shut

Housing crash? I predict a slow down to a plateau but no crash... People will always need homes, although I suspect more people will be buying to rent over the coming years.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Avenue_1 on 07-22-2006 03:33 PM:

Dear NeverSoft,

When will i become a mod?

Posted by Vampire on 07-22-2006 03:43 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Because for every 23-or-so bottom feeders, there's always some 3rd/4th-line twunt with a company car and a £40k salary, who's only 25 years old and dresses like a Soprano... Therefore undoing all the hard work that the lower echelons do to convince people that I.T isn't a cushy number. So yeah, blame the few I.T "rock stars" for not keeping their fucking gobs (and wallets?) shut

/me hangs head in shame... that is pretty damn accurate (although I'm 27, not 25!).

Posted by Dwaggy on 07-22-2006 05:11 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1
Dear NeverSoft,

When will i become a mod?

on the day we close this forum

__________________

i have sigs off

Posted by Sin on 07-22-2006 07:49 PM:

Dear Neversoft, why am I so fucking lazy?

Also, will I become a good doctor?

Posted by Avenue_1 on 07-22-2006 08:05 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Sin

Also, will I become a good doctor?

Harold Shipman springs to mind.....

Posted by Sin on 07-22-2006 08:09 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1
Harold Shipman springs to mind.....

lolz thanks for that Ave. Now wheres that syringe full of morphine??

Posted by baha on 07-22-2006 08:52 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Sin
Dear Neversoft, why am I so fucking lazy?

quote:
Originally posted by Sin
lolz thanks for that Ave. Now wheres that syringe full of morphine??

Posted by |V|USTANG_FAN on 07-23-2006 09:06 PM:

Dear neversoft, can you find me the user manual for a 1990 subaru legacy L 2wd

would be greatly appreciated!

thanks in advance for your time

__________________

Posted by Mother on 07-23-2006 10:38 PM:

Dear Neversoft, I've often wondered, why do we have peppermint and spearmint flavours (chewing gum, toothpaste, etc..), what's the difference and where do the respective names come from?

And what relation are they to the mint that grows in the garden that's used for making mint sauce?

Posted by Sin on 07-23-2006 10:50 PM:

Dear Neversoft, when will the new changes for the board be made?

Posted by Arthur Daily on 07-23-2006 11:58 PM:

Thanks for the "log in" info. It worked a treat.

Dear neversoft.

My Add/Remove part of windows is FUCKED.
I got software on the PC that isn't in the add/remove and most annoying of all
Almost all the things that ARE in there don't have a REMOVE option (or any options) They are just listed with ...
"Used... Rarely" even next to programs that i use all the time.

Whats up wit dat ?

__________________
*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

Posted by Neversoft on 07-24-2006 10:20 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1
Dear NeverSoft,

When will i become a mod?

The day you start your own forum, cos nobody in their right mind would let you be a mod on their forum

Start a forum dedicated to power-wanking and things associated with power-wanking (such as wank-mitts and most absorbant tissue etc etc) - I'll join it in a heartbeat... Could I also be a mod?

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 07-24-2006 10:24 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Sin
Dear Neversoft, why am I so fucking lazy?

Also, will I become a good doctor?

You're lazy because you suffer from SAD... You'll be a shit doctor, otherwise you would've diagnosed that yourself

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 07-24-2006 10:26 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Mother
Dear Neversoft, I've often wondered, why do we have peppermint and spearmint flavours (chewing gum, toothpaste, etc..), what's the difference and where do the respective names come from?

And what relation are they to the mint that grows in the garden that's used for making mint sauce?

They're different types of mint... Mint isn't just one plant, it comes in shitloads of varieties.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by |V|USTANG_FAN on 07-24-2006 10:26 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by |V|USTANG_FAN
Dear neversoft, can you find me the user manual for a 1990 subaru legacy L 2wd

would be greatly appreciated!

thanks in advance for your time

nm, i contacted subaru and they are sending one out to me for free!!

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 07-24-2006 10:29 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by |V|USTANG_FAN
nm, i contacted subaru and they are sending one out to me for free!!

That's what I would've said

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 07-24-2006 10:34 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Sin
Dear Neversoft, when will the new changes for the board be made?

I anticipate a few weeks before the "initial" changes... but don't quote me on that.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Avenue_1 on 07-24-2006 10:53 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
I anticipate a few weeks before the "initial" changes... but don't quote me on that.

Since Sin can't quote you on it.... i'll do the honourable thing

Who's your daddy Sin!

Posted by Neversoft on 07-24-2006 11:01 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Thanks for the "log in" info. It worked a treat.

Dear neversoft.

My Add/Remove part of windows is FUCKED.
I got software on the PC that isn't in the add/remove and most annoying of all
Almost all the things that ARE in there don't have a REMOVE option (or any options) They are just listed with ...
"Used... Rarely" even next to programs that i use all the time.

Whats up wit dat ?

Tricky one without remoting into your PC and having a butchers but I suspect one of the following:

1. You're logged in as a "Limited User" rather than with an admin account.
2. The "Application Managment" service is disabled (check by going start>run>services.msc) set it to manual.
3. Your registry is fucked.
4. Something even whackier is fucked.

Check the first two and if you still have problems, check your event log for anything pertaining to Application Managment or permissions problems (or anything else so long as it isn't obviously unrelated) and let me know what you find (dump the log and pm me with it if necessary).

In all fairness, if 1 or 2 aint the answer you're possibly looking at a reinstall of Windows.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Arthur Daily on 07-24-2006 11:45 PM:

hummm, its not 1 or 2. i got a feeling its 3.

3 = Windows reinstall init ?

ho hum, has to be done sooner or later i guess.

Heres another one...

Dear NeverSoft

Whenever i open RecordNowMax or some (not all) other things on my XP system.
I get a windows installer window popup like this...

it flashes up a few times but the app still loads anyways.

__________________
*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

Posted by Neversoft on 07-25-2006 12:14 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
hummm, its not 1 or 2. i got a feeling its 3.

3 = Windows reinstall init ?

ho hum, has to be done sooner or later i guess.

Heres another one...

Dear NeverSoft

Whenever i open RecordNowMax or some (not all) other things on my XP system.
I get a windows installer window popup like this...

it flashes up a few times but the app still loads anyways.

Check your PC for weird shit using HiJackThis and a decent trojan/malware/virus scanner cos either your PC is beyond cunted (see my previous answer) or something is possibly "hooked" into your PC that is attempting to launch with certain types of application. You could also attempt to re-install Windows Installer:

quote:
1. Click start>run>cmd

2. In the Command Prompt window type the following:

attrib -r -s -h
c:\windows\system32\dllcache
cd c:\windows\system32\
ren msi.dll msi.old
ren msiexec.exe msiexec.old
ren msihnd.dll msihnd.old
exit

3. After Exiting from the Command Window Reboot your PC

Or re-install Service Pack 2

Did you find anything in the event log that looked troublesome (start>run>eventvwr)?

So, in summary... Either you're infected with some hideous malware that has spannered the Windows Installer and is hooked into the registry so that it attempts to launch whenever you launch an application or Windows Installer (or worse) is bent beyond recognition and you need to take a hammer to your OS.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Ecp on 07-25-2006 12:26 AM:

Have you tried deleting and reinstalling the windows installer?

Posted by Neversoft on 07-25-2006 12:37 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Ecp
Have you tried deleting and reinstalling the windows installer?

Yeah, cos I like totally failed to mention doing that... Ecp, could you post instructions please?

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Ecp on 07-25-2006 01:11 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Yeah, cos I like totally failed to mention doing that... Ecp, could you post instructions please?

Umm you know I didn't even read all of your post. I have had that problem before and reinstalling fixed it............... so ummmm. :WHISTLE:

Posted by Arthur Daily on 07-25-2006 05:35 AM:

Right then, so im planing my Windows Reinstall and backup of important files n shit.

Whats the best way to Backup all my emails and folders from Outlook Express (to a separate Hard Drive)
I got some Important emails and info in there i CAN NOT loose.

Also, Wheres the FireFox BOOKMARKS stored? I will need to back them up as well.

__________________
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Posted by Ecp on 07-25-2006 05:49 AM:

Or you can use one of the many backup utilitys.

http://www.iopus.com/guides/oe-backup.htm

>In your Profile Folder. See
><http://kb.mozillazine.org/Firefox_:_FAQs#Bookmarks> (3rd question)
><http://kb.mozillazine.org/Profile_Folder#Firefox>
><http://kb.mozillazine.org/Profile_F...n_my_profile.3F>

http://kb.mozillazine.org/Firefox_:_FAQs

Posted by Xler on 07-25-2006 07:38 AM:

Dear Neversoft,
I feel that I am not big enough and considered using creatine to solve such an issue. Would you reccomend taking this course? I plan to use while taking weight training in school.

Also, what do you do for a living?

Posted by Neversoft on 07-25-2006 02:10 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Right then, so im planing my Windows Reinstall and backup of important files n shit.

Whats the best way to Backup all my emails and folders from Outlook Express (to a separate Hard Drive)
I got some Important emails and info in there i CAN NOT loose.

Also, Wheres the FireFox BOOKMARKS stored? I will need to back them up as well.

Ecp has given a pretty thorough answer so I'll keep my gob shut

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 07-25-2006 02:14 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Xler
Dear Neversoft,
I feel that I am not big enough and considered using creatine to solve such an issue. Would you reccomend taking this course? I plan to use while taking weight training in school.

Also, what do you do for a living?

Creatine will help bulk you up so long as you stick to the work-out routine, otherwise you'll just turn into a fat fuck

I do server support for a massive IT company... You know, exciting stuff

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Arthur Daily on 07-26-2006 04:05 AM:

COOL
Reinstall WINDOWS xp all sorted now (almost)
one more thing...

When I'm in a folder looking at files i click
View > Details (coz that's the way i like it.

But for some reason its not remembering and keeps reverting back to fisherPrice looking Large Icons.

Can i set windows to Default at Right click > View > Details > Left Click ?

__________________
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Posted by Mother on 07-26-2006 09:13 AM:

Tools > Folder Options > View > Advanced Settings > Remember each folder's view settings

(If you currently have a folder open in details view, and want all floders to open this way, click "Apply to All Folders")

Posted by Sin on 07-26-2006 12:04 PM:

Where can I find the tools to unlock a T-Mobile MDA Vario (2005)

Posted by Paul Skinback on 07-26-2006 01:38 PM:

Dear Neversoft,
What's the best, and easiest way to stay cool in this summer heat?

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
try thinking of ATI as Christina Aguilera and Nvidia as Christina Aguilera in the "Dirty" video

Posted by Arthur Daily on 07-26-2006 02:06 PM:

AGHHHH now another thing,
i cant take this shit much more, im gonna SLAP a pc any min now.

Heres the shit......
Installed Window again, everything running SMOOTH

But winrar takes a FUCKING dogs age to unrar anything.
i mean HOURS,,, just to get to 10% is a mission.

ok granted they are 4gb .iso's but it never took this long when the PC was clogged with shit PRE-reinstall of windows.

HELP PLEEEEEEZE

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Posted by Phantom on 07-26-2006 02:12 PM:

Latest chipset drivers installed?

Posted by Neversoft on 07-26-2006 02:28 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Sin
Where can I find the tools to unlock a T-Mobile MDA Vario (2005)

Your best bet is to have a look on Yahoo groups... I know it sounds bad but I found assloads of stuff for my mobile on there

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 07-26-2006 02:32 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
AGHHHH now another thing,
i cant take this shit much more, im gonna SLAP a pc any min now.

Heres the shit......
Installed Window again, everything running SMOOTH

But winrar takes a FUCKING dogs age to unrar anything.
i mean HOURS,,, just to get to 10% is a mission.

ok granted they are 4gb .iso's but it never took this long when the PC was clogged with shit PRE-reinstall of windows.

HELP PLEEEEEEZE

Xero is right, check your chipset drivers... Depends on what motherboard you have but if you've got a "manufactured" PC you should be able to get them piss easy from their site. Otherwise, time to dig out the manual and see if it's nForce, VIA or SIS etc etc

It's a shame you were so quick to reinstall, I was going to post and advise you run Belarc Advisor to dump all your software/drivers/serials/stuff to a text file before you reformat so you'd have a simple checklist for reinstalling

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Arthur Daily on 07-26-2006 02:43 PM:

thats ok m8, it was LONG over dew.
only had to make a list of those little apps & Program we take for granted, only to wonder where the fuck? after a reinstall.

That and a complete backup of My Doc folder and emails. then im sorted for a reinstall.

I discovered the winrar problem was that i had my d: (containing the rars) as a slave on the same IDE as my c:
Slow down was CRAZY... Now C: is all alone just the way she likes it.
Everything else is on the IDE/Raid card.

Thanks for your help guys, this thread is a godsend (fucking religion)
and saves clogging up the forums

No doubt this thread will hear from me soon again

__________________
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Posted by cobalt on 07-29-2006 09:55 PM:

I'm looking for a 'new' second hand car. I have around £2000 ready cash to go towards the cause and would be happy to take finance of around £3-4000 (making total max outgoing of around £6000).

I currently have a very old Citroen ZX, it is not lightning fast but is the 1.9 Turbo Diesel model (around 90-100 BHP depending which websites you read), so has a little bit of kick and low down power.

My checklist includes.
Engine power to match or preferably outdo my Citroen
Intresting/good looking
Gadgets - central locking, elec windows, air-con etcstuff
Reliable as possible
Insurance group 7-10.

So far I have a few in mind

Alfa Romeo 147 - I like the styling and the interior is the nicest of the vehicles in my range, but IG 12.
Ford Focus - Spare parts aplenty and plenty of stock around, although I much prefer the body work of the later models which cost more and normally out of my range.
Vauxhall Vectra - Found one when having a scout, cheap at around £4k with a decent enough looking body, but nasty cheap looking interior.

What are your opinions on the three I have listed?
Can you come up with other suggestions I havent mentioned?
Are you selling a Bugatti Veyron for £6000 to a good home?

p.s. I really dont like Peugeots.

Cheers!

Posted by Neversoft on 07-30-2006 11:01 AM:

Hmmmm, cars... Did I mention that I don't drive? So, although I'm not the ideal person to ask, I'll try and provide a sensible answer -

Get a Focus. Like you said, parts are easy and its a decent enough car with a reasonable interior (which as a passenger, is far mre important to me than a rocket up the cars arse... Although the Focus also has a rocket up it's arse). The Alfa Romeo will cost you a fortune and you're right about Vauxhauls looking like crap

Just an opinion though, this certainly isn't within my field of "expertise"

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by antihero on 07-30-2006 11:32 AM:

dont buy an Alfa Romeo unless you have shitloads of money to spunk on repair bills! Notoriously unreliable.

Posted by baha on 07-30-2006 12:42 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
I discovered the winrar problem was that i had my d: (containing the rars) as a slave on the same IDE as my c:
Slow down was CRAZY... Now C: is all alone just the way she likes it.
Everything else is on the IDE/Raid card

And while you're at it, create a new virtual drive and set that up as a dedicated swap disk for Windows, Photoshop and any other apps that require it, you'll find massively improved performance - I dedicate just 7Gb and no more system lags.

Additionally if you rar/unrar large iso's/avi's/mpeg's then set up a dedicated dl drive for them and set cluster size to 16k. It's not really going to lose you that much disk space....but you'll find you can rar/unrar/process and move those files incredibly quickly

Posted by Vampire on 07-31-2006 11:26 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

I recently re-installed Windows XP on my home PC and my Digitech GNX4 was working fine via USB. Following further installs of other USB devices (Motorola phone, iPod Nano etc.), I can no longer connect to the GNX4. I've tried removing all of the USB device drivers and re-installing just the GNX4 drivers but it still doesn't work.

Any suggestions?

Posted by Neversoft on 08-01-2006 11:26 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Vampire
Dear Neversoft,

I recently re-installed Windows XP on my home PC and my Digitech GNX4 was working fine via USB. Following further installs of other USB devices (Motorola phone, iPod Nano etc.), I can no longer connect to the GNX4. I've tried removing all of the USB device drivers and re-installing just the GNX4 drivers but it still doesn't work.

Any suggestions?

In Device Manager (I KNOW you know where that is), go to View > Resources by Connection - and look for for conflicts (i.e. shared) IRQs and if you can't see any, look for conflicts in the IO and DMA sections too. You also said you'd removed the "USB Device Drivers" - do you mean the individual drivers for your USB devices or the USB chipset drivers themselves? If it's the former, reinstall the latter

Also, if you're using a hub and it's not an externally powered one, disconnect other devices from it... It may be that you simply can't power your guitar doodad.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Vampire on 08-01-2006 12:21 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
In Device Manager (I KNOW you know where that is), go to View > Resources by Connection - and look for for conflicts (i.e. shared) IRQs and if you can't see any, look for conflicts in the IO and DMA sections too. You also said you'd removed the "USB Device Drivers" - do you mean the individual drivers for your USB devices or the USB chipset drivers themselves? If it's the former, reinstall the latter

Also, if you're using a hub and it's not an externally powered one, disconnect other devices from it... It may be that you simply can't power your guitar doodad.

Nah - no conflicts, only removed the device drivers (not the USB chipset drivers!

) Looks like a lot of people have the same problem using the X-Edit software with XP SP2. It's not a problem with Windows detecting the GNX4 itself as it recognises it and uses it as an audio device (ie. I can play MP3s on my PC and play along using headphones in my GNX4). It's the actual patch modifying software that doesn't detect it.

I've e-mailed Digitech support, thanks anyway.

EDIT:: woohoo.... it's fixed. Digitech e-mailed me the latest version of the software and, combined with an updated DLL file from gnx4.org, it recognises the pedal.

Posted by LOLobo on 08-01-2006 09:02 PM:

NSFW!!!

Dear Neversoft,

Is it gayer to have sex with this or this?

::edit::
Thank Ave... fixed now

Posted by Avenue_1 on 08-01-2006 10:43 PM:

Your second link isn't working lolobo...

Posted by Neversoft on 08-02-2006 10:59 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by LOLobo
NSFW!!!

Dear Neversoft,

Is it gayer to have sex with this or this?

::edit::
Thank Ave... fixed now

The first one is gayer cos its* got like a beard n stuff... The second one would do so long as you don't give it* a reach-around whilst up-to-the-buffers in its* arse.

*its, his, her - you decide

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Paul Skinback on 08-02-2006 07:03 PM:

Dear Neversoft,
Is there anyway to fix the touch screen on a Sony Ericsson P900 without actually replacing it?

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
try thinking of ATI as Christina Aguilera and Nvidia as Christina Aguilera in the "Dirty" video

Posted by Neversoft on 08-03-2006 01:05 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Hmmmm, cars... Did I mention that I don't drive? So, although I'm not the ideal person to ask, I'll try and provide a sensible answer -

Get a Focus. Like you said, parts are easy and its a decent enough car with a reasonable interior (which as a passenger, is far mre important to me than a rocket up the cars arse... Although the Focus also has a rocket up it's arse). The Alfa Romeo will cost you a fortune and you're right about Vauxhauls looking like crap

Just an opinion though, this certainly isn't within my field of "expertise"

It has been pointed out that I *really* don't know anything about cars and I'm totally wrong on this answer. After consulting an "expert" I am advising the following:

Buy an Alfa Romeo and pray it doesn't break cos the dealer network is shite. The Focus is technically cheap but is negated by the fact that the driving position is crap and they're built like shit and break a lot (although the spares are cheap).

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 08-03-2006 01:09 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Paul Skinback
Dear Neversoft,
Is there anyway to fix the touch screen on a Sony Ericsson P900 without actually replacing it?

Depends on what's wrong with it! Send it for repair at the service centre if you don't want the stress of fixing it yourself... If the screen is bust though, of course it will need replacing!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by punzada on 08-04-2006 04:41 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

After having a big blowout with the parents I've finally moved out and have been staying at a friends. For the past month inbetween going to the bar and making various drug runs we have gone through what we think is every good, and most shitty movies ever made on a downloading frenzy. I need a list of flicks to look through of good yet obscure movies to grab, and possibly a job if you're hiring.

- punzada

Posted by Takkouri on 08-05-2006 06:16 PM:

I've googled for many an hour looking for a mini fridge, one that can fit in a suitcase, one that will chill a single bottle/can of beer.

I can't find any. (well there was one that chilled a can in 60 secs but you needed ice to use it and where the fuck do they think i'm going to get ice when i can't even chill a beer?)

Can you please use your topnotch searching skills and find me a suitable mini fridge?

Posted by Arthur Daily on 08-05-2006 07:54 PM:

Dear NeverHard

could you tell me what season and Ep's did
Kits Evil twin named CAR appear?

__________________
*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

Posted by Arthur Daily on 08-05-2006 08:31 PM:

im to fast for myself lol

quote:
Knight Automated Roving Robot), is a villain from the cult television series Knight Rider. He is the prototype version of KITT, designed first by Wilton Knight and built by Knight Industries. Unlike KITT whose primary directive is to protect human life, KARR was programmed for "self-preservation" making him a ruthless and unpredictable threat. KARR does not appear as streetwise as KITT. He is very gullible and inexperienced, viewing the world more like a child, although he ultimately believes himself superior and unstoppable. He was aware of the construction of another car like him (KITT), before he was deactivated, and displays anger and annoyance about having a "twin" brother. Because he didn't know KITT's name at first, KARR referred to KITT as an "inferior production line copy". (This statement is somewhat humorous, considering prototypes are more often than not inferior to final production designs.)

KARR first appeared in the first season episode "Trust Doesn't Rust" first aired in the USA on 19 November 1982, and again in the third season episode "K.I.T.T. vs. K.A.R.R." first aired in the USA on 4 November 1984. Had the show remained on the air, it is rumoured that K.A.R.R was supposed to have returned in the unproduced fifth season premiere, destroying K.I.T.T again (prompting another rebuilding) and killing Bonnie.

KARR also appears as the enemy of KITT and his driver Michael Knight in Knight Rider the Game produced by Davilex International under license.

quote:
Trivia

* In "Trust Doesn't Rust", the voice of KARR was provided by voice actor Peter Cullen, better known as the voice of Optimus Prime in the The Transformers cartoon series. In "K.I.T.T. vs K.A.R.R.", KARR was voiced by Paul Frees. Frees was uncredited on-screen for his role, leading Peter Cullen to sometimes be wrongly credited as providing KARR's voice in "K.I.T.T. vs K.A.R.R."
* KARR's three bar LED voice display inspired fans to write in and ask for KITT to have a similar LED for his "mouth", instead of a simple flashing light. Midway through Season One (episode "Hearts of Stone"), KITT was given a three bar LED of his own.
* KARR is possibly parodied in the Adult Swim television series Stroker and Hoop, considering the duo drive a computerized talking vehicle named C.A.R.R., although he is not evil and depicted in a more comical role.
* On The Powerpuff Girls episode of Coup d'Etat Professor Utonium upgraded his automobile and renamed it K.A.R.R. However K.A.R.R becomes evil while the three girls are trying to sabotage it.

__________________
*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

Posted by socks on 08-05-2006 11:20 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Takkouri
I've googled for many an hour looking for a mini fridge, one that can fit in a suitcase, one that will chill a single bottle/can of beer.

I can't find any. (well there was one that chilled a can in 60 secs but you needed ice to use it and where the fuck do they think i'm going to get ice when i can't even chill a beer?)

Can you please use your topnotch searching skills and find me a suitable mini fridge?

This one is tiny:
http://masseynews.massey.ac.nz/2004...s/07_14_04.html

One can fridge:
http://www.ec51.com/factory/156/zhh...ridge_6263.html

Posted by Takkouri on 08-06-2006 10:50 AM:

thanks socks but how do i actually buy the thing?
and it's for a car, how the fuck do I fit a car in my suitcase?

Posted by Neversoft on 08-06-2006 11:30 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by punzada
Dear Neversoft,

After having a big blowout with the parents I've finally moved out and have been staying at a friends. For the past month inbetween going to the bar and making various drug runs we have gone through what we think is every good, and most shitty movies ever made on a downloading frenzy. I need a list of flicks to look through of good yet obscure movies to grab, and possibly a job if you're hiring.

- punzada

Start with movies beginning with "A..." and work from there - either that or read a little-known website called VCDQuality.com for viewing tips

If you don't fancy watching a movie, try a power-wank or a nice, relaxing poo.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by bartleby on 08-07-2006 01:27 AM:

dear neversoft

ive recently started getting this error message pop up on my screen saying

the file or directory C:\$extend\$objId is corrupt and unreadable please run the chkdsk utility

start/run/chkdsk is what i did and i still get the message wtf i going on ? this is what the little shit looks like

__________________
snoochie boochies

Posted by Neversoft on 08-07-2006 10:43 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by bartleby
dear neversoft

ive recently started getting this error message pop up on my screen saying

the file or directory C:\$extend\$objId is corrupt and unreadable please run the chkdsk utility

start/run/chkdsk is what i did and i still get the message wtf i going on ? this is what the little shit looks like

It could be indicative of at least two serious issues I'm afraid, and possibly if you're lucky, something minor instead...

I believe $extend is a "hidden" portion of the NTFS filing system and as such, it's often used by Trojan's, Viruses and Rootkits or but it's also vital to your file system (it's used to internally reference the links between files and their physical location on the drive, I think) and could indicate that your C: drive is monumentally stuffed

1. Grab a copy of Rootkit Revealer and HijackThis and give your PC the once-over for weird looking crap... Especially things in HijackThis that reference that hidden area.

2. Open a command prompt and do a "chkdsk /f c:" not just a chkdsk - the "/f" parameter attempts to fix any errors.

3. Scan the drive with a 3rd-party disk checking utility like the one in Norton Systemworks or TuneUp Utilities.

If you stuggle with RKR or Hijackthis, post the results here and I'll have a look. Otherwise, if you reckon your PC is clean and the chkdsk still fails, you'd probably be better off backing-up any important stuff, reformatting that drive and reinstalling Windows.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by bartleby on 08-07-2006 06:52 PM:

i get that error everytime i open a program i have no idea what im doing so i thought id post it in the hope you can help me below is the rootkit revealer and what chkdsk says
cheers for the help so far neversoft

__________________
snoochie boochies

Posted by bartleby on 08-07-2006 06:55 PM:

oh yeah hi jack this comes up with loads of crap

do you think i might just have to install window again ?

__________________
snoochie boochies

Posted by bartleby on 08-07-2006 06:56 PM:

__________________
snoochie boochies

Posted by Neversoft on 08-11-2006 11:39 AM:

There's some weird-sounding stuff in there but the only spyware-specific one I can spot is the reference(s) to dlp.dll which you should remove. Most of the other stuff appears to be a total mishmash of software including stuff for your Fuji camera... In other words, your Windows startup is pretty messy, probably slowing your PC down (a lot) and probably a reason for it acting weird. Messenger Plus also comes packaged with Spyware, avoid it.

My best advice is to launch a barrage of Anti Spyware tools at that bastard... Create a system restore point then - Start scanning with Windows Defender, move to Spybot Search and Destroy and finally AdAware. Once you've finished all that, scan your registry for invalid references, you may already have Registry Mechanic (it comes with PC Tools which you have installed, I think) or you could grab TuneUp Utilities 2006 if you want something beefier.

... Bottom line is, I can't see any obvious spyware but you may be having "hangover" from a previous "malware" infestation.

... Also, allow chkdsk to run next time you reboot by selecting "Y"

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 08-11-2006 11:41 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
It has been pointed out that I *really* don't know anything about cars and I'm totally wrong on this answer. After consulting an "expert" I am advising the following:

Buy an Alfa Romeo and pray it doesn't break cos the dealer network is shite. The Focus is technically cheap but is negated by the fact that the driving position is crap and they're built like shit and break a lot (although the spares are cheap).

Numerous people have pointed out that I obviously know nothing about cars and neither did my "expert"

My new advice is to check on www.topgayer.com

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Arthur Daily on 08-13-2006 07:39 PM:

WTF happened here?

Rarely do i power down the PC but the last 2 days its been off.
Switched it on today and it looks like its almost lost one of the HD's.

i switched it to 'Active' thinking that may help but it didnt.
As you can see its lost the NTSF bit ???

Is it fucked, can i just do a few clicks and its fixed or do i need to try n recover the Data?

edit: ok now i see this could have gone in the 'ask neversoft thred' woops.

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Posted by Neversoft on 08-13-2006 07:58 PM:

Arthur... Open up a command prompt and type:

"chkdsk /f e:" and if it wants you to, reboot and let the chkdsk run (chances are, it wont want to reboot)...

... You OS not knowing what file system a drive is using isn't a good thing, you may find yourself rescuing as much as you can off that drive before fully formatting it.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Arthur Daily on 08-13-2006 11:02 PM:

hummmm,

didnt work i think.
What could have caused this? all i did was leave it off for 2 days lol
Anyone recomend a good recovery app

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Posted by doctor zoidy on 08-14-2006 06:24 AM:

me thinks that should be "chkdsk e: /r"
might take a bit of time, but also if you have a copy of hiren's boot disk, and if you dont you should have one, boot from that and run HDD Regenerator on the drive, will also correct any bad sectors...

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Thats alot of words for someone that sells DVDs out of the back of a truck

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Read zoidys comment for clarification.

Posted by Arthur Daily on 08-15-2006 08:39 PM:

fixed it now.

Onto Problem 2

Is there a feckin 3rd party app for ipod so i can use Drag n Drop ffs?
My Daughter is doing me head in and i cant get along with this ipod software bollox

__________________
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Posted by doctor zoidy on 08-15-2006 10:00 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Is there a feckin 3rd party app for ipod so i can use Drag n Drop ffs?

try xplay
or anapod

from what im able to discern (dont get my ipod till next week) anapod is less of a resource hog...

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Thats alot of words for someone that sells DVDs out of the back of a truck

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Read zoidys comment for clarification.

Posted by Neversoft on 08-16-2006 02:37 PM:

/me points at the thread title

There's also lots of free iPod stuff Arthur, including a nice WinAmp plugin so you can export WA playlists and stuff from the library straight to the iPod - have a look on www.sourceforge.org

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by doctor zoidy on 08-16-2006 03:14 PM:

/me points to his own massive penis

anything you can do i can do better!

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Thats alot of words for someone that sells DVDs out of the back of a truck

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Read zoidys comment for clarification.

Posted by Lord_Gandalf on 08-16-2006 04:29 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

I'm a 23 yr old man with a receding hairline... do you have any natural methods of slowing down the hair loss and/or bringing back my self esteem?

Posted by Neversoft on 08-16-2006 09:49 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by doctor zoidy
anything you can do i can do better!

I'm wanking myself off right now... Fancy a go? Use two hands though sweet-cheeks!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 08-16-2006 09:51 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Lord_Gandalf
Dear Neversoft,

I'm a 23 yr old man with a receding hairline... do you have any natural methods of slowing down the hair loss and/or bringing back my self esteem?

I suspected that I was receeding a few years ago so I opted to beat the fucker to the punch and shaved it all off... Now, several years later I've grown it again and I'm NOT receeding. Now, I'm not saying that shaving your hair prevents hair loss, but erm... Just shave your head, ok?

As for your self esteem, the best thing I could suggest is that you break all your mirrors

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by doctor zoidy on 08-17-2006 04:13 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
I'm wanking myself off right now... Fancy a go? Use two hands though sweet-cheeks!

i've got two on the wood while a pair of my wife's students are kneading the package waiting with open mouth to accept my present...

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Thats alot of words for someone that sells DVDs out of the back of a truck

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Read zoidys comment for clarification.

Posted by Avenue_1 on 08-17-2006 04:50 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by doctor zoidy
i've got two on the wood while a pair of my wife's students are kneading the package waiting with open mouth to accept my present...

Didn't you say before your girls students were 12 y/o or something? PEDO!!

Posted by doctor zoidy on 08-18-2006 03:45 PM:

nope, highschool... 17-18, some 16

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Thats alot of words for someone that sells DVDs out of the back of a truck

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Read zoidys comment for clarification.

Posted by socks on 08-18-2006 04:12 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by doctor zoidy
nope, highschool... 17-18, some 16

all legal tender.

Posted by VOorheES-ToUcH on 08-23-2006 11:15 PM:

Oh mighty neversoft answer me this.....

__________________

" Che di spada ferisce di spada perisce "

R.I.P
�_ Marlo McQuillar �_
�_ Petar "Decko" Ragus �_

Posted by VOorheES-ToUcH on 08-24-2006 06:21 AM:

I recently moved to Tampa Bay, FL and im on the hunt for a job. Am i screwing myself by filling out all my job applications in red ink? And for the few instances i have gotten interviews i get my urine tested for drugs, being a chronic-chronic smoker i always fail. With this said, should i power wank in the cup before or after the urine?

__________________

" Che di spada ferisce di spada perisce "

R.I.P
�_ Marlo McQuillar �_
�_ Petar "Decko" Ragus �_

Posted by Neversoft on 08-24-2006 02:46 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by VOorheES-ToUcH
I recently moved to Tampa Bay, FL and im on the hunt for a job. Am i screwing myself by filling out all my job applications in red ink? And for the few instances i have gotten interviews i get my urine tested for drugs, being a chronic-chronic smoker i always fail. With this said, should i power wank in the cup before or after the urine?

Hmmmm... Is that what it's like in the "Land of the Free" - all employers give you a drug test before you can get a job? Cunts

If you need to power-wank before, during or after a drugs test, I'd suggest doing it before as pissing with a hard-on can leave you drenched from head-to-toe. So empty your nuts then take the uring test.

You could also try abstaining for about a month, to get the THC out of your system or look online for any tips/advice on flushing your system or beating the test - or simply get a relative (another bloke, you don't want too many female hormones in it!) to piss in a small coke bottle or something and take that in with you as a substitute

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Sin on 08-24-2006 02:55 PM:

Dear Neversoft, please give me a comprehensive list of items to take to University by the end of September.

Currently I have a phone and need a laptop to buy (asus w3j or v1j with merom core)

so what else?

Posted by J Fresh on 08-24-2006 07:13 PM:

neversoft, how come girls dont "understand " me?>

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 08-25-2006 01:52 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Sin
Dear Neversoft, please give me a comprehensive list of items to take to University by the end of September.

Currently I have a phone and need a laptop to buy (asus w3j or v1j with merom core)

so what else?

1. Condoms
2. A bottle opener, corkscrew and tin opener
3. Rohypnol
4. A copy of "Readers Wives"

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 08-25-2006 01:59 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by J Fresh
neversoft, how come girls dont "understand " me?>

Presumably its because their either unconcious or you have a penis in your mouth at the time.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Vampire on 09-02-2006 12:18 AM:

Dear Neversoft,

Why does drinking steaming hot coffee make you want to poop?

Posted by Avenue_1 on 09-02-2006 12:38 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Vampire
Dear Neversoft,

Why does drinking steaming hot coffee make you want to poop?

lol, reminds me of a question i wanted to ask... Why is it the first line of coke ya take ya always wanna have a shite

( maybe it's being cut with a laxative

)

Posted by Vampire on 09-02-2006 12:40 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1
lol, reminds me of a question i wanted to ask... Why is it the first line of coke ya take ya always wanna have a shite ( maybe it's being cut with a laxative )

Another valid question. The number of times I've had to dive into some shithole pub's skanky lavs to spray paint the walls... yeuch!

Posted by Takkouri on 09-02-2006 07:05 PM:

I'm looking for a new mobile phone.
I want it to be able to run Sat Nav software, be a flip phone, cost no more than £150, it's to be pay as you go and my network is Vodafone.
What can you recommend?

P.S. What about the mini fridge?

Posted by Arthur Daily on 09-03-2006 03:40 AM:

Dear neversoft.

Can you find my any cheats for
Gangs of London
on the psp?

EDIT:

Also (and this is a fucking 99% impossible one)

I'm looking for a old 1990s track called "children's Storys"
it was sort of Techno or house or hardcore (you know the score)

if you found the label or any more info, you will be on my crimbo card list for sure

__________________
*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

Posted by Neversoft on 09-04-2006 01:13 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Vampire
Dear Neversoft,

Why does drinking steaming hot coffee make you want to poop?

It's not really the fact that it's steaming, it's because Coffee has laxative and diuretic effects. Now, imagine you've been in bed all night "baking a loaf" in your sleep (so to speak) then you wake up and have one in the chute without realising. Next, you get to work, have a coffee and thats the final nudge that you need to pop-out a hot log

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 09-04-2006 01:16 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1
lol, reminds me of a question i wanted to ask... Why is it the first line of coke ya take ya always wanna have a shite ( maybe it's being cut with a laxative )

This doesn't happen to me tbh but Charlie plays havoc with your guts in general... It's a drug, see? It's like asking "Why does Speed make your cock shrivel?" IT JUST FUCKING DOES

PRO-TIP: The come-down from Speed/Whizz is an excellent opportunity to practise power-wanking.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 09-04-2006 01:25 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Takkouri
I'm looking for a new mobile phone.
I want it to be able to run Sat Nav software, be a flip phone, cost no more than £150, it's to be pay as you go and my network is Vodafone.
What can you recommend?

P.S. What about the mini fridge?

1. No idea, but I'm sure somebody on here will know (like Arthur - the gadget-nut). A colleague advises me that Nokia have some decent flip/sat-nav ones available but I (we) don't know the model numbers.

2. Don't bother with the gimmicky "Cola" ones you see online, get your arse down to Comet... They've got some really nice "beer-branded" ones in there for next to fuck-all.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 09-04-2006 01:38 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Dear neversoft.

Can you find my any cheats for
Gangs of London
on the psp?

EDIT:

Also (and this is a fucking 99% impossible one)

I'm looking for a old 1990s track called "children's Storys"
it was sort of Techno or house or hardcore (you know the score)

if you found the label or any more info, you will be on my crimbo card list for sure

No Gangs of London cheats yet (it's not "officially" out yet so the publisher wont have released the codes... That's right, publishers release the codes, people don't simply guess that you should press "XXYXYXYXYYYYXYXYXYYXYXYXYXYYYXYXYXYXYXYXYXXXYX" to get some infinite lives cack

)

As for your second question, I eat "impossible" for fucking breakfast... BEHOLD!!

Label: Phuture Trax Promotions
Catalog#: CF 001
Format: 12"
Country: UK
Released: 1992
Genre: Electronic
Style: Breakbeat, Techno

Tracklisting:
A1 The Chocolate Factory
A2 Factory Mix
B1 Bionic
B2 Bionic Breakdown

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Sin on 09-04-2006 02:33 PM:

Find me a release date for the Asus W3J with Core2Duo more clearcut than end of september

pretty pleeeeeease

Posted by Neversoft on 09-04-2006 02:49 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Sin
Find me a release date for the Asus W3J with Core2Duo more clearcut than end of september

pretty pleeeeeease

It's already available, it's just a twat to obtain (unless you're in Australia, there in abundance down there!). I found an online store with it in stock though

http://www.digiuk.com/productdetail.asp?id=6579

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Sin on 09-04-2006 03:00 PM:

oops should clarify. The one with the new merom core (Core 2 duo)

nice work on finding one though they are in high demand, Im on a preorder list atm with nexus13.com but I want to know if I can get it before university (25th Sept)

Posted by Neversoft on 09-04-2006 03:10 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Sin
oops should clarify. The one with the new merom core (Core 2 duo)

nice work on finding one though they are in high demand, Im on a preorder list atm with nexus13.com but I want to know if I can get it before university (25th Sept)

I PHONED Laptops-Direct and they knew cock all (in fact, they were utterly shit and the spod at the end of the phone needs dragging off their sales line RIGHTFUCKINGNOW). No other online stores have any information and there's no information as to the specific date on the Asus website. So, in summary... Nobody knows, not even me

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Sin on 09-04-2006 03:56 PM:

now THATS dedication folks. Thanks for searching though, Ive phoned a few stores and its either

a) err theres a new model out? wow we should look that up

b) end of septemberish not sure, cant even tell you the price for the new model one fookin month away.

but still, nice one mate . Guess we will see in 3 weeks or so.

Damn, I want my small sexeh asus! Had a look at one on Tottenham Court Road and its fuckin gorgeous. Well worth the expense I reckon

Posted by Sin on 09-05-2006 11:58 AM:

OK, question #2

Ive been feeling a little spacey as of late, and am looking for a decent space simulation/ combat game with nice graphics.

Hot prospects so far:

Infinity: The Quest for Earth, which looks like everything I could ever want, but its not on my doorstep for another 2 years

Darkstar One is shit. End of.

What else??

Ive started playing freelancer again to get my space "fix"

Tried eve, but the amount of time it takes to get anywhere in the system is just too much for my current workload.

TY

Posted by Dwaggy on 09-05-2006 01:51 PM:

Try this (And tell me how it is) X3:Reunion

__________________

i have sigs off

Posted by Arthur Daily on 09-05-2006 02:51 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft

As for your second question, I eat "impossible" for fucking breakfast... BEHOLD!!

Label: Phuture Trax Promotions
Catalog#: CF 001
Format: 12"
Country: UK
Released: 1992
Genre: Electronic
Style: Breakbeat, Techno

Tracklisting:
A1 The Chocolate Factory
A2 Factory Mix
B1 Bionic
B2 Bionic Breakdown

Fook in ell. that 'could' be the one. what site was that on, did they have a sample file ?

__________________
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Posted by Sin on 09-05-2006 03:49 PM:

Ill try X3, looks a little more in depth than most, but was hoping for some group/ multiplayer fun too.

Which is why I want Infinity.

Posted by Neversoft on 09-05-2006 04:17 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Sin
OK, question #2

Ive been feeling a little spacey as of late, and am looking for a decent space simulation/ combat game with nice graphics.

Hot prospects so far:

Infinity: The Quest for Earth, which looks like everything I could ever want, but its not on my doorstep for another 2 years

Darkstar One is shit. End of.

What else??

Ive started playing freelancer again to get my space "fix"

Tried eve, but the amount of time it takes to get anywhere in the system is just too much for my current workload.

TY

I'd like to be a twat and tell you to play "Elite" (which is still the best space game, period) but you probably want fancy graphics so I'll go with Dwaggy's suggestion of X3 cos it doesn't look too shit

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 09-05-2006 04:22 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Fook in ell. that 'could' be the one. what site was that on, did they have a sample file ?

Nope, but you *may* be able to buy it - http://www.discogs.com/release/90656

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Sin on 09-05-2006 04:30 PM:

Just a continuation of the prev space theme but this looks interesting. Star Trek Online. Now im not a huge fan of trek but allowing you to work on ships together, travel around inside and have a general mmo allowing planetside exploration is a excellent combo in my books.

Website

Plus its pretty. Beta is slated for Summer 2007. Looks like ill be waiting for anything interesting to arrive:

X3 goes on the dl list tonite I guess

Anywho I wont derail this thread, Ill make a separate post in games if theres more to add.

Posted by Arthur Daily on 09-15-2006 03:59 AM:

Dear NeverSoft

I have an old NEC ND-3520A DVD writer
sifting threw the mountings of tosh regarding 'Modified' firmwares, I'm as confused as
a mime artist in a wakeing up in a REAL glass box.

All I'm looking for is a modified FW that will burn max speed 12x or 16x on any DVD-r

Can you fix it for me ?

__________________
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Posted by Arthur Daily on 09-15-2006 05:26 AM:

AND

got one of THESE the other day.
Windows xp pro doesnt like the surpied installation cd.

I get the 'FOUND NEW HARDWARE' popup so i click
Install from a specific location, Browse to the CD's WIN2K_XP folder and i get 'COULD NOT FIND SOFTWARE ON COMPUTER FOR... MASS STORAGE DEVICE

or words to that effect.

EDIT: Sorry dude i sussed it myself by openin the .inf file and looking for a product name.
googled it and found the driver here

http://www.ite.com.tw/product_info/...P_094036-01.zip

__________________
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Posted by Neversoft on 09-15-2006 02:00 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Dear NeverSoft

I have an old NEC ND-3520A DVD writer
sifting threw the mountings of tosh regarding 'Modified' firmwares, I'm as confused as
a mime artist in a wakeing up in a REAL glass box.

All I'm looking for is a modified FW that will burn max speed 12x or 16x on any DVD-r

Can you fix it for me ?

For a multiregion firmware fix, click here for other firmwares and "stuff" click here.

Also, you really should burn slower you know... Unless you need to turn them out quickly so you don't miss the Sunday market

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Arthur Daily on 10-11-2006 11:45 PM:

Dear Uncle Neversoft.

Will the old CHA-10 Chatbord work with my
Spanking new SE K800i

oh and a few FREE ringtone and Jar game sites would be cool sir

__________________
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Posted by dave00 on 10-12-2006 02:11 AM:

Dear Neversoft

Recently i broke my left Arm and im unable to Power-Wank I have tried using my right hand but it just dont feel right. Also for my wife its that time of the month and i cant accept handjobs/blow jobs cause this makes me fucking angry that she wont contemplate letting me ride her while shes on the rags. Is there an answer to my dilema? Is it perverted to buy a substitute like a stand in for a while

Posted by kimmy on 10-13-2006 02:23 PM:

Dear mr neversoft.. i've always wondered why when i do big steaming poo poo i see undigested corn in my poo. why doesnt my bowels completley digest all the corn in my poo poo.. and the next question i've always wondered why whenever you "woof the cookies ' there's always carrots... and i havent had any of these orange cuntys for 6 months.. please explain?? uncle ns

Posted by Dwaggy on 10-13-2006 04:28 PM:

DEAR NEVERSOFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

HELP MY TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT KEY IS STTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTUCK HOW DO I FIX ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

__________________

i have sigs off

Posted by Neversoft on 10-13-2006 08:45 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Dear Uncle Neversoft.

Will the old CHA-10 Chatbord work with my
Spanking new SE K800i

oh and a few FREE ringtone and Jar game sites would be cool sir

1. Yes

2. I can't help you with anything illegal Sir... Although I *may* have 1000 or so free java games, PM me

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 10-13-2006 08:49 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by dave00
Dear Neversoft

Recently i broke my left Arm and im unable to Power-Wank I have tried using my right hand but it just dont feel right. Also for my wife its that time of the month and i cant accept handjobs/blow jobs cause this makes me fucking angry that she wont contemplate letting me ride her while shes on the rags. Is there an answer to my dilema? Is it perverted to buy a substitute like a stand in for a while

You can't accept hand jobs or blow jobs!!!? Other than thinking "What's wrong with dave00?" I'm also contemplating getting your wife seriously drunk or slipping her some GHB in her coffee. Either that or suggest anal (you being the giver, not the receiver... ok?)

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 10-13-2006 08:58 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by kimmy
Dear mr neversoft.. i've always wondered why when i do big steaming poo poo i see undigested corn in my poo. why doesnt my bowels completley digest all the corn in my poo poo.. and the next question i've always wondered why whenever you "woof the cookies ' there's always carrots... and i havent had any of these orange cuntys for 6 months.. please explain?? uncle ns

Sweetcorn has a cellulose hust whick you cannot digest and therefore it "protects" the interior as well. If you chew it thoroughly, it'll get digested with the exception of the skin.

Also, it's not carrot, its bits of your stomach lining... It just looks like carrot

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 10-13-2006 09:02 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
DEAR NEVERSOFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

HELP MY TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT KEY IS STTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTUCK HOW DO I FIX ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Wedge a screwdriver under then key and apply a small amount of leaverage to pop it off. Now, get a cotton swab with a small amount of ethanol or cd/tape head cleaner and clean out any gunk, pubes or cookies that were stuck under the key. Now give the key a good wash in soapy water, dry it and click it back into place.

PRO-TIP: If you're power-wanking in front of the PC a wise purchase would be a rubber keyboard to prevent "splashes" and pubes from being an issue in the first place.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Spank on 10-16-2006 12:43 AM:

dear NeverSoft,

i recently acquire 57 gmaeloft games for my K800i...only they are in .pak format, how do i use them (if its possible)....and if i cant use them...any chance of that 1000 java games you *might* have lying aroudn the place?

__________________
Im The Daddy!

Posted by Neversoft on 10-16-2006 02:56 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Spank
dear NeverSoft,

i recently acquire 57 gmaeloft games for my K800i...only they are in .pak format, how do i use them (if its possible)....and if i cant use them...any chance of that 1000 java games you *might* have lying aroudn the place?

Copy them to your memory card then browse to that location on the phone and execute them... They should then install to the phone.

On your second question, some of them are probably copyrighted, so I'd better not

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Paul Skinback on 10-16-2006 08:14 PM:

Dear Neversoft,
Is there anyway to play n-gage games on a Symbian S60v3 phone, or have there been any releases of this type?

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
try thinking of ATI as Christina Aguilera and Nvidia as Christina Aguilera in the "Dirty" video

Posted by Pickles on 10-17-2006 01:47 PM:

Dear NeverSoft,

Is it okay to power wank in a tube sock? I find myself sneaking off into the bathroom, b/c the wife won't allow it, power wanking in socks all the time as of late.

Also, as I am sure you are a seasoned pro, can you offer any tips for my dillema?

Posted by Neversoft on 10-17-2006 02:24 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Paul Skinback
Dear Neversoft,
Is there anyway to play n-gage games on a Symbian S60v3 phone, or have there been any releases of this type?

Not as far as my vast intellect knows, no

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 10-17-2006 02:32 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Pickles
Dear NeverSoft,

Is it okay to power wank in a tube sock? I find myself sneaking off into the bathroom, b/c the wife won't allow it, power wanking in socks all the time as of late.

Also, as I am sure you are a seasoned pro, can you offer any tips for my dillema?

Your wife wont allow you to wank or just wank into socks? I'm a little confused but if it's the former you need to address that situation.

Ensure your wife is aware of this fact: Most people wank, those who say they don't are either freaks or liars. If your wife objects to your wanking then you need to get her to be more like a whore and less like a bitch so you wank less.

If it's the latter, why not get some of those rubbish condoms from a "Pound Shop" I wouldn't trust one to stop my demon seed from fertilising some wenches eggs but they should be good enough to catch some spaff.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Vampire on 10-19-2006 12:18 AM:

Dear Neversoft,

Some dickless fucker took the ST badge off of the rear of my Focus last night with a screwdriver leaving a nice groove in the paintwork... and a missing badge, obviously. I have one simple question...

What ruthless form of revenge can you recommend once I find out who did it? I'm thinking along the lines of a cheese grater, their penis and some salt but will welcome any better suggestions.

Posted by Mystic Slippers on 10-19-2006 12:24 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Vampire
What ruthless form of revenge can you recommend once I find out who did it?

Depends on what you call 'revenge'.

A simple cricket bat to the face revenge or the kind of revenge you'd happily do 25 years for?

Focus ST's are alright, i'd rather have a Civic Type R or save a bit more and get a used TVR.

Posted by Vampire on 10-19-2006 12:34 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Mystic Slippers
Depends on what you call 'revenge'.

A simple cricket bat to the face revenge or the kind of revenge you'd happily do 25 years for?

Focus ST's are alright, i'd rather have a Civic Type R or save a bit more and get a used TVR.

I want to make the motherfucker so scared that they'll shit their pants when it dawns on them what I will do to them.. and then leave it at that. I prefer psychological trauma as opposed to blunt trauma. It lasts a LOT longer.

ps. I'd probably have gone for a Civic Type-R but it wasn't on the company car list.

Posted by Mystic Slippers on 10-19-2006 01:01 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Vampire
ps. I'd probably have gone for a Civic Type-R but it wasn't on the company car list.

A Focus ST is still a bloody nice car to have though!

Posted by Vampire on 10-19-2006 01:02 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Mystic Slippers
A Focus ST is still a bloody nice car to have though!

True - although the fact that Kippa is getting one must surely depreciate the value.

Posted by Mystic Slippers on 10-19-2006 01:03 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Vampire
True - although the fact that Kippa is getting one must surely depreciate the value.

He's a cunt. Sell it quick.

Posted by stickywicket on 10-19-2006 09:09 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Vampire
I want to make the motherfucker so scared that they'll shit their pants when it dawns on them what I will do to them.. and then leave it at that.

The knob in question was probably a 'back of the head' cap-wearing chav who can't keep his hands out his pants soooo why not, once you apprehend the suspect, grab him - dump him in the boot and ditch him 2 cities over with no phone and no money, then drive home happy in the knowledge that his parents probably would be the first to pat you on the back...

Posted by Neversoft on 10-20-2006 03:29 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Vampire
What ruthless form of revenge can you recommend once I find out who did it? I'm thinking along the lines of a cheese grater, their penis and some salt but will welcome any better suggestions.

I'd recommend going medieval on their arse... Might I suggest "Breaking on the wheel"

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by ron989 on 10-21-2006 07:31 PM:

:: problem fixed. carry on

Posted by FurbtasticMan on 10-22-2006 01:29 AM:

Sorry this is a bit wordy, but a real moral dilema:

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus...

An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
An old friend who once saved your life.
The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first.
Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back.
However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer.

He simply answered:
"I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations.

Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

HOWEVER, the correct answer is:
Run the old lady over and put her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers.

God, I just love happy endings.

__________________
My New Hot Favourite - http://www.gadgets4nowt.co.uk

Posted by cobalt on 10-22-2006 01:57 PM:

Neversoft,

Can you suggest the best MP3 to FM transmitter gadget, such as the iTrip, but for use with a non iPod mp3 player in my new car?

Also, is there a way to work out the total cubic feet/meter/miles of air in our atmosphere? No reason really just intrigued.

Cheers

ps. one more thing - is it possible to change my name on this little corner of the internet to include a capital C, so it would be "Cobalt" as apposed to "cobalt"?

Posted by Pickles on 10-23-2006 05:20 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Your wife wont allow you to wank or just wank into socks? I'm a little confused but if it's the former you need to address that situation.

Naw NS she doesn't mind me wanking, she even wanks me some times. She really likes to watch me wank, and also wanks with me at times

Here is what she doesn't like the fact that I put warm mashed potatoes in the socks just before Power Wanking in them.

So now what do you suggest ??

Posted by Neversoft on 10-24-2006 03:44 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cobalt
Neversoft,

Can you suggest the best MP3 to FM transmitter gadget, such as the iTrip, but for use with a non iPod mp3 player in my new car?

Also, is there a way to work out the total cubic feet/meter/miles of air in our atmosphere? No reason really just intrigued.

Cheers

ps. one more thing - is it possible to change my name on this little corner of the internet to include a capital C, so it would be "Cobalt" as apposed to "cobalt"?

All of those FM transmitters are pretty much the same, go for the prettiest

To change your forum name, PM Dwaggy and ask nicely!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 10-24-2006 03:46 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Pickles
Here is what she doesn't like the fact that I put warm mashed potatoes in the socks just before Power Wanking in them.

So now what do you suggest ??

A Fleshlight?

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Sin on 10-25-2006 11:39 PM:

Well I got an info pack today from the medical school today about future careers outside the NHS and some interesting companies in there. 2 that caught my eye were qinetiq, a defence contractor but it doesnt say much about what it actually does and the ESA which would be an awesome place to work at. Ive had a look on the website and you might even (if your lucky/ good) get a chance to be pushed onto the astronaut training program.

So can you find out what qinetiq or the ESA specifically does medical wise?

ta NS.

Posted by Fionn McCool on 10-28-2006 12:29 PM:

Dear Neversoft, Could you find me a DVD or VHS copy of this (NSFW) fine movie . The links on the site point to a different movie of the same name.

Find it and I'll get Dwaggy to take you out for a slap up meal.

Posted by silentscream54 on 10-28-2006 02:20 PM:

Dear neversoft,

I have a dilemma with my car, I originally bought it for £800, its a peugeot 306, L reg, had it for 3 months and this month the suspension, driveshaft, exhaust and clutch have all broken.

MOT has expired and tax is due on the 31st.

The car failed its MOT yesterday and i have to spend around £100 to fix everything to get it to pass.

So far this month a total of £450 has been spent on repairs.

So... the question is, should I sell as a fucked car on ebay (and how much do you rekon I would get) and buy a cheap runnaround till I can afford the hyundai coupe, or should I fix it and live with this one till i can afford the new one?

Posted by Avenue_1 on 10-28-2006 03:06 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Sin
Well I got an info pack today from the medical school today about future careers outside the NHS and some interesting companies in there. 2 that caught my eye were qinetiq, a defence contractor but it doesnt say much about what it actually does and the ESA which would be an awesome place to work at. Ive had a look on the website and you might even (if your lucky/ good) get a chance to be pushed onto the astronaut training program.

So can you find out what qinetiq or the ESA specifically does medical wise?

ta NS.

qinetic was in the paper recently, they developed and used a tablet that kept you awake for three days, and were tested/used on soldiers in iraq.

Posted by Spank on 10-28-2006 06:18 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Sin
qinetiq, a defence contractor but it doesnt say much about what it actually does ta NS.

Qinetiq are shit

the are MOD support for antenna's and also do laboritory tests on lubricants and stuff. and also maintain hospital equipment.
i havent heard one good comment from employees that coem to us!

the above is just what i know...its not definitive

__________________
Im The Daddy!

Posted by Sin on 10-28-2006 08:11 PM:

heh perhaps not the best place to go then

Posted by darlowad v2.0b on 10-28-2006 09:22 PM:

dear neversoft

sum1 called me a nipplebean today

can you tell me what a nipplebean is ???

__________________
ezekiel 25.17 "the path of the righteous man"

Posted by 65dos on 10-28-2006 10:39 PM:

a cold mexican?

edit - my question for you neversoft is this. rectal prolapse... what is.. how.. can i.. what.. what do.. what's in it for the people? what does it feel like?

Posted by Sin on 11-01-2006 04:49 PM:

4 words:

drum and bass reccomendations?

Posted by FurbtasticMan on 11-02-2006 12:15 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Sin
4 words:

drum and bass reccomendations?

2 words:

it's crap

__________________
My New Hot Favourite - http://www.gadgets4nowt.co.uk

Posted by doctor zoidy on 11-14-2006 12:56 AM:

im looking for a laptop, needs to have a serial (comm) port and xp pro, anything other than that is kind of an extra, and the price needs to be <= $1,000.00 USD...

i've found two, but it seems to be harder and hard to find laptops with ports built in. any links would be helpful.

thank you.

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Thats alot of words for someone that sells DVDs out of the back of a truck

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Read zoidys comment for clarification.

Posted by wanksock on 11-14-2006 02:08 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Sin
4 words:

drum and bass reccomendations?

ill step in here if neversoft doesnt mind too much

all the new stuff on subtitles recordings is brilliant. anything by noisia and/or phace is always outstanding too, check noisia's new bit on virus records...track called 'end game'... its asbolutely epic. nphect and dizplay have an album just out called beautiful bytes on basswerk records, album of the year for me tbh, the production value is just something else. logistics album 'now more than ever' definitely worth a look too for something with a more melodic kinda feel to it, indeed anything on hospital records is worth checking if youre into that sound. check out calibre's latest ep on soulr records too, called the 'derranged ep' it really is something else... anything by calibre is always a cut above the rest imo

both black sun empire albums 'drving insane' and 'cruel and unusual' are filth, and for something along similar lines but alot older, go for stakka and skynets revolutionary album 'clockwork' (not the remix ep)

creative source is another good label to look at, mutt's latest bit is so good i got a lump in my throat the first time i heard it :s

quarantine records is on fire atm too, they just put out a compilation cd with all kinds of new bits from d bridge, break, optiv, silent witness etc... redline,
catch off and authentic are my favourite tracks from it but its all worth a listen.

the last 3 releases on shogun audio have been excellent too (both shogun assassins ep's and the klute 12")

id also recommend renegade hardware as a good label to look out for usually.

and one last bit off the top of my head, check out the last release on frontline records, by a guy called taxman... the track is 'embalmer'... some severe bassline right there!

also listen to the spy technologies and battlefield lp's on dsci4. the spy technologies was ripped as 6 singles rather than one lp...but still. hydra by crossfire is pure war music.

www.rolldabeats.com is a good place to go to see what a certain artist has done recently.

i keep meaning to record a mix and post it up ere, i will do soon.
anyway yeh, theres some decent music to start ya off, get stuck in

aha, check this out:
dizplay_live_at_plattensport_radio_campus_cologne_
_________
http://files.drumandbass.de/biene/p...t_09sep2006.mp3

(it was originally posted by dizplay himself so i hope theres no problem linking it here)

edit:

Phace-Psycho_LP

Posted by Sin on 11-14-2006 02:28 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by wanksock

cheers mate will look em up

quote:
Originally posted by FurbTasticMan
2 words:

it's crap

you win moronic post of the week award. Thanks for taking my crown from me

__________________
Something pithy

Posted by geoffbob30 on 12-23-2006 07:58 PM:

wondered if you could help neversoft my mate has bought these http://www.gadgetshop.com/pws/Produ...e?ProductID=944 for his missus for xmas but they won`t be here in time he wants to print this page exactly how it is pics colours and all just wondered if you could tell me an easy way

Posted by Arthur Daily on 12-24-2006 12:28 AM:

A Shop in camden town, oppersit the tube station
called The Works.
Are selling them for about £170.. and had them instock today.

PS. Dear Neversoft.

Where the fuck are ya?

__________________
*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

Posted by baha on 12-24-2006 01:30 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
PS. Dear Neversoft.

Where the fuck are ya?

The same thought had crossed my mind.

Then I remembered some pervert was being held by police in Ipswich. Coincidence? Probably...seeing as that's in relation to adult women and not adolescent boys.

Posted by geoffbob30 on 12-24-2006 07:01 AM:

ipswich sorry i didn`t explain myself properly he wants to print out the page exactly as it is and put it in an envelope but i know he is in london today i`ll tell him thanks anyway

Posted by David Cameron on 01-04-2007 06:24 PM:

Dear Neversoft

Do people who are into Scat have "Shit Pride" marches? If so, where and when.

Posted by Neversoft on 01-07-2007 05:46 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Sin
So can you find out what qinetiq or the ESA specifically does medical wise?

ta NS.

Qinetiq are a defense contractor in a James Bond kinda sense, probably pays well but I suspect you'll eventually get assassinated: http://www.qinetiq.com/home/technol...b_Landing1.html

As for the European Space Agency, erm, I expect they do all sorts of "space" stuff but I guess that would also entail some medical research. Have a look here: http://www.esa.int/SPECIALS/Careers_at_ESA/index.html

Sorry for not coming up with anything more definitive but both Qinetiq and the ESA seem deliberately vague about what they're looking for... I blame the Illuminati.

If you do apply for the ESA, can I propose a year-long study into the effects of Power-wanking in Zero-G on forum moderators?

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 01-07-2007 05:49 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by darlowad
dear neversoft

sum1 called me a nipplebean today

can you tell me what a nipplebean is ???

It isn't listed in the "Urban Dictionary" so I suspect whoever called you it simply made it up on the spot, thereby giving it his/her own definition. Therefore, a "Nipplebean" is obviously YOU!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 01-07-2007 05:51 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Sin
4 words:

drum and bass reccomendations?

Well, I'm a bit "Old Skool" so I'd say anything by: Goldie, Roni Size, LTJ Bukem and Adam-F... Oh, and DJ Hype

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 01-07-2007 05:54 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by 65dos
a cold mexican?

edit - my question for you neversoft is this. rectal prolapse... what is.. how.. can i.. what.. what do.. what's in it for the people? what does it feel like?

It's when your ass falls out... Normally due to some pretty hardcore fisting. I wouldn't recommend it. As for "what's in it for the people" and "What does it feel like" I reckon the most obvious answers are the best:

1. The opportunity to have your anus ripped and to see the southern end of your digestive tract swinging between your knees.

2. Like your digestive tract is swinging between your knees.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 01-07-2007 05:57 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by doctor zoidy
im looking for a laptop, needs to have a serial (comm) port and xp pro, anything other than that is kind of an extra, and the price needs to be <= $1,000.00 USD...

i've found two, but it seems to be harder and hard to find laptops with ports built in. any links would be helpful.

thank you.

Don't bother, just get a USB to 9-pin RS232 adaptor. They're piss to setup (just a tiny driver) and they work just fine... I set our Motorised (Celestron) Telescope up to be operated via Starry Night Pro on a Laptop... T'was easier than having a power wank

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 01-07-2007 06:01 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by geoffbob30
wondered if you could help neversoft my mate has bought these http://www.gadgetshop.com/pws/Produ...e?ProductID=944 for his missus for xmas but they won`t be here in time he wants to print this page exactly how it is pics colours and all just wondered if you could tell me an easy way

Easy... Print via the File Menu and check the "Print Setup" option first... In there you will see options for printing background colours and images, select that. I'd also recommend telling it to resize it to fit on one page.

... Oh, and I hope you meant Christmas 2007, otherwise I'm a tad late. Between going on holiday and Christmas, this thread has been neglected by yours truly

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 01-07-2007 06:02 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
PS. Dear Neversoft.

Where the fuck are ya?

Butlins in Skegness (no, really!)

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 01-07-2007 06:05 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cupidstunt
Dear Neversoft

Do people who are into Scat have "Shit Pride" marches? If so, where and when.

They don't have their own marches... Like most sexual deviants, they just come out of the woodwork and mingle into "Gay Pride" marches.

Don't believe me? This isn't just some homophobic rant, look at pictures of the Mardi Gras and every other person is in a Fursuit or something equally wrong

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b on 01-07-2007 09:20 PM:

Firefox Crapfox

Clicked on some link in the rules posted in every release (cant remember which one), now my firefox wont connect to anything using ssl.
Checked every cunting option to do with ssl and security and cant get it fixed..tried reinstalling etc. , obviously theres something i've overlooked...Would the mighty NeverSoft have an idea how to resolve this? I have checked everything the error message told me to, and tried sys restore

This is the error i get every time i fire up firecocks...

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 01-08-2007 03:52 PM:

Re: Firefox Crapfox

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Clicked on some link in the rules posted in every release (cant remember which one), now my firefox wont connect to anything using ssl.
Checked every cunting option to do with ssl and security and cant get it fixed..tried reinstalling etc. , obviously theres something i've overlooked...Would the mighty NeverSoft have an idea how to resolve this? I have checked everything the error message told me to, and tried sys restore

This is the error i get every time i fire up firecocks...

Here is a guide that will hopefully fix it for you: http://kb.mozillazine.org/SSL_is_disabled

Otherwise, here is my "Beat the cunt out of Firefox" guide:

1. Delete the entire contents of this folder:

C:\Documents and Settings\[User Name]\Application Data\Mozilla\Firefox\Profiles\

2. Next, type "about :config" in the address ar and monkey around in there.

3. Finally, open up a command prompt and type the following:

c:\
attrib -r *.* /s

and wait

If that doesn't fix it, create a new XP user account, uninstall FF, delete it's folder, remove it's registy hive and then reinstall - if it's still failing, something is majorly cunted

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b on 01-08-2007 06:43 PM:

I'd wank you with my teeth if you were close, your link sorted it!
I deleted the cert8.db file deep in firefoxs' bowels and that fixed it.

__________________

Posted by morco on 01-09-2007 12:49 AM:

heres my question for neversoft: Are you gay? or mentally insane? or just perverted beyond belief? hehe

Posted by bartleby on 01-09-2007 08:35 PM:

Dear neversoft ....

im thinking of upgrading my ram , do you think i need a new processor aswell ?

also ive never fitted anything inside my pc before , how easy / hard would it be to fit it myself ?

__________________
snoochie boochies

Posted by stickywicket on 01-09-2007 08:37 PM:

A serious question for you Dr Neversoft,

If i were to offer photos of myself when i was a young boy 'playing at the beach' and 'enjoying my first swim' on ebay...perhaps to 'specialist' groups or individuals, would i be arrested or instead make a fucking bomb and end up with my own airline / beard like Branson???

Posted by Neversoft on 01-10-2007 01:22 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by morco
heres my question for neversoft: Are you gay? or mentally insane? or just perverted beyond belief? hehe

The last two for sure... As for the first one, I'm in denial - fancy a fuck?

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 01-10-2007 01:26 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by bartleby
Dear neversoft ....

im thinking of upgrading my ram , do you think i need a new processor aswell ?

also ive never fitted anything inside my pc before , how easy / hard would it be to fit it myself ?

It depends on what you use the PC for. That processor is fine if you only use the PC for browsing but if you're encoding video or anything else "beefy" then you could probably do with something a bit sexier. Having said that, you motherboard probably wouldn't take anything beefier (I equate Celeron to "cheap" and most PC's with Celerons in them also have shitty motherboards).

You could do with more ram though, but rather than add more ram I would replace what you have already - avoid mixing and matching ram, especially as your older ram probably wont be as tollerant as the new stuff.

So... Download Belarc Advisor and pull out some system specifications and take it from there but yeah... You need to shove at least 512mb of ram in that thing although 1gb would be nice. If you want to replace the processor, you're probably looking at a motherboard replacement which may have a knock-on effect with regards to your power supply and a graphics card (in case your graphics are currently onboard) as well

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 01-10-2007 01:30 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by stickywicket
A serious question for you Dr Neversoft,

If i were to offer photos of myself when i was a young boy 'playing at the beach' and 'enjoying my first swim' on ebay...perhaps to 'specialist' groups or individuals, would i be arrested or instead make a fucking bomb and end up with my own airline / beard like Branson???

That's a fucking good question... I have pictures of myself in various states of undress as a kid. Can I be done for peddling kiddie porn if the pictures are of me?

I suspect it's still illegal... It's getting so that no self-respecting child pornographer can make an honest buck nowadays!

::EDIT:: Tis illegal in the USofA to post kiddieporn pictures of yourself!

http://www.wfmynews2.com/news/water...x?storyid=60478

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by 404notfound on 01-13-2007 10:12 AM:

Dear Neversoft,

I haven't been around the site/irc chan much of late. Have you missed me.

As a side question. Is Dwaggy still a cunt?

__________________

Posted by cobalt on 01-14-2007 10:03 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

I have just started re watching Band of Brothers for the Nth time.

Episode 4 shows a lot of action in flashback form as Winters (played by Damien Lewis) writes up the combat report after the battle.

I imagine these reports would have been created for all action throughout the war, my question is are these documents classified in anyway, and if not where could I find them?

Posted by Neversoft on 01-15-2007 03:46 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by 404notfound
Dear Neversoft,

I haven't been around the site/irc chan much of late. Have you missed me.

As a side question. Is Dwaggy still a cunt?

I haven't visited the IRC channel recently myself either but I can, without a shadow of a doubt state that Dwaggy isn't a cunt... He's a fucking cunt (and proud of it).

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 01-15-2007 03:51 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cobalt
Dear Neversoft,

I have just started re watching Band of Brothers for the Nth time.

Episode 4 shows a lot of action in flashback form as Winters (played by Damien Lewis) writes up the combat report after the battle.

I imagine these reports would have been created for all action throughout the war, my question is are these documents classified in anyway, and if not where could I find them?

It will be stored in the National Archive - not all stuff is available online (AFAIK) but you can request stuff... HAPPY HUNTING!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 01-17-2007 10:49 AM:

Dear neversoft......

what is the sample used in method mans "mr sandman"

the bit that sounds like a opera singer singing the hook mr sandman.........

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by Neversoft on 01-17-2007 05:29 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Jules_Tavernier
Dear neversoft......

what is the sample used in method mans "mr sandman"

the bit that sounds like a opera singer singing the hook mr sandman.........

ok, you got me... I've looked A LOT (I don't like to be beat but don't take that as a "challenge" you cunts) - I don't know, sorry

I can only find the briefest of samples of that track... Could you upload a PORTION for me so I have something to work with? Don't upload the whole track - legal issues etc etc

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 01-17-2007 09:29 PM:

here u got, the first 25 sec's.........

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by Neversoft on 01-18-2007 10:53 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Jules_Tavernier
here u got, the first 25 sec's.........

Now you fuckers will bow to the awesome deductive powers that are "The Neversoft Effect"

It's from "Hansel And Gretel: I Am The Little Sandman"

He shoots... He scores \o/

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 01-18-2007 11:06 AM:

/me gets down on his knees and puckers up

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by Neversoft on 01-18-2007 01:49 PM:

If it wasn't for your reference to opera I was expecting it to be "Mr Sandman by the Chordettes" from 1950-something. Hence why I needed the snippet of the track, I tried Amazon and a few other places that provide samples but none of them were long enough to here the bit you were referring to.

I'm still not 100% sure I'm right but after finding a snippet of "Hansel And Gretel: I Am The Little Sandman" it sounds like the right one, so I'm running with that

If this was a quiz question or something I hope I get to share the prize

(my Kung-Fu is strong, motherfuckers!)

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Paul Skinback on 01-18-2007 08:48 PM:

Dear Neversoft,
Could you recomend any good quality, cheap electro-acoustic guitars that would be good for someone just starting out?

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
try thinking of ATI as Christina Aguilera and Nvidia as Christina Aguilera in the "Dirty" video

Posted by darlowad v2.0b on 01-18-2007 09:34 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Paul Skinback
Dear Neversoft,
Could you recomend any good quality, cheap electro-acoustic guitars that would be good for someone just starting out?

i can highly recomend the "fender" v2Air guitar

i started out with one of these and im like a rock n roll superstar now!!

__________________
ezekiel 25.17 "the path of the righteous man"

Posted by Neversoft on 01-19-2007 10:29 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Paul Skinback
Dear Neversoft,
Could you recomend any good quality, cheap electro-acoustic guitars that would be good for someone just starting out?

I highly recomend the Fender v2Air guitar... Please note that I spent a long time considering my response and didn't simply repeat what Darlowad said!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 01-19-2007 11:08 PM:

Dear Neversoft....

MY dads friend brought a game for his son, but it came on DVD and they only have a cd drive on there PC. is the anyway that I can copy it onto my harddrive then cut it into CD's that will install on his pc using his cd drive.

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b on 01-19-2007 11:31 PM:

It will be the same as trying to make a backup of a game, you could take an image, split rar it up then burn it as a data disc onto a few cds, but you wont be able to play the copy unless you crack it.

__________________

Posted by Ecp on 01-19-2007 11:51 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
It will be the same as trying to make a backup of a game, you could take an image, split rar it up then burn it as a data disc onto a few cds, but you wont be able to play the copy unless you crack it.

Yeah pretty much.

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 01-19-2007 11:57 PM:

Thanks Ecp il have a look into it

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by wanksock on 01-21-2007 09:11 PM:

dear nevesoft

im going to buy a nintendo ds for me and my brother, we have some long journeying ahead of us in summer and tradition over the years has been gb / gbc and gba to pass the journey time... its time for a new toy!

wheres the best place to read about how its done, what i'll need and possibly some step by step guide?

also, is there such a thing as a ds emulator for the pc? id like to see what some of the rpg games are like before i splash out.

and also, id like to know what it can and cant do once its been flashed cos i dont really have a clue (other than i know it can play backed up games)

i just checked ds-scene and ndscene but they havent been ever so helpful as yet

and lastly, i was a massive fan of the lord of the rings rpg on the gba... are there any similar rpg style games for the ds?

cheers

Posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b on 01-21-2007 10:57 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Jules_Tavernier
Thanks Ecp il have a look into it

Yea, no probs wigger, westside, shizzle my cockle on ur goldies.

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 01-22-2007 03:05 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Jules_Tavernier
Dear Neversoft....

MY dads friend brought a game for his son, but it came on DVD and they only have a cd drive on there PC. is the anyway that I can copy it onto my harddrive then cut it into CD's that will install on his pc using his cd drive.

Rip it to an ISO image, split the ISO with WinRAR (set compression to "STORE" instead of compressing as it will be super slow otherwise and compressed video doesn't compress that much anyway. Dump the rars onto CD's and copy/unrar at their house.

... Or spend the £20 on a fucking DVD drive, tight twats!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 01-22-2007 03:31 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by wanksock
dear nevesoft

im going to buy a nintendo ds for me and my brother, we have some long journeying ahead of us in summer and tradition over the years has been gb / gbc and gba to pass the journey time... its time for a new toy!

wheres the best place to read about how its done, what i'll need and possibly some step by step guide?

also, is there such a thing as a ds emulator for the pc? id like to see what some of the rpg games are like before i splash out.

and also, id like to know what it can and cant do once its been flashed cos i dont really have a clue (other than i know it can play backed up games)

i just checked ds-scene and ndscene but they havent been ever so helpful as yet

and lastly, i was a massive fan of the lord of the rings rpg on the gba... are there any similar rpg style games for the ds?

cheers

Heck, is that enough questions? ok, here we go...

There is a very good guide here: http://www.metku.net/index.html?pat...s/nds/index_eng

Personally I have a Supercard Lite for GBA compatability but if you don't care for running GBA games you can get away with just having a Slot-1 flashcart as opposed to a Slot-1 Passme and Slot-2 flashcart. If NDS games and homebrew are all you care about, check out the Supercard Slot-1 or M3 Simply. I don't know where you live but www.consoleplus.co.uk offer excellent service.

I'd recommend getting a flashcart that supports MicroSD memory cards and one that has the memory card slot in an easily accessible place (the Slot-2 M3 has the slot in the side meaning you have to remove the whole thing just to get to the mem card, for example).

There are no *fully* working NDS emulators for the PC but you could check out No$GBA which will run some roms and pretty much all homebrew. Ensata is the official Nintendo emu for developers and hard to get a hold of - dunno if it's any good either but the unnofficial line is "There are no decent DS Emus out for the PC"

There's plenty of RPGs out for the NDS but be sure to check out Final Fantasy (obviously), Children of Mana and harvest Moon... There's probably plenty of others but it's not really my preferred genre, sorry.

Some good NDS homebrew sites are as follows:

www.drunkencoders.com
www.dev-scene.com
www.ds-scene.net
www.maxconsole.net
www.qj.net

Have fun... They're a fuckin' awesome piece of kit

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by 65dos on 01-22-2007 03:55 PM:

Dear neversoft

Are you happy with your life?

What makes you smile when you wake up in the morning?

If you could change one thing, what would it be?

Regards,
me xxxxxxx

Posted by Neversoft on 01-22-2007 04:03 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by 65dos
Dear neversoft

Are you happy with your life?

What makes you smile when you wake up in the morning?

If you could change one thing, what would it be?

Regards,
me xxxxxxx

What makes me smile? My reflection... I'm a handsome fucker

If I could change one thing, it would be to change the "normal" working hours that we all submit to but never actually agreed. Which twat decided you only get the weekends off? So I'd change the normal working week to Mon-weds but increase the number of hours to 12. The same amount of work gets done but we get to party for four days instead - HUZZAH \o/

Thanks for asking something about me, instead of just asking the normal crap. Thanks for the kisses too, should you ever find me face-down in a gutter you have my permission to rim me.

xx

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by spiketoo on 01-22-2007 08:17 PM:

Dear Mr Soft:

Other than rimjobs, money laundering and wholesale pharmaceuticals, how does one make friends?

Posted by Paul Skinback on 01-25-2007 12:02 AM:

Dear Neversoft,
How can i change a usb hd from being reconised as a hd to a removable device. I know it seems a strange question but i'm having trouble with MySlax Creater.

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
try thinking of ATI as Christina Aguilera and Nvidia as Christina Aguilera in the "Dirty" video

Posted by Neversoft on 01-25-2007 04:34 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by spiketoo
Dear Mr Soft:

Other than rimjobs, money laundering and wholesale pharmaceuticals, how does one make friends?

Purchase a bottle of cheap wine (anything with a screw cap is a good start) and chat to the people you find sleeping on park benches in any large town or city... In no time you'll have plenty of friends, just don't forget the wine.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 01-25-2007 04:36 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Paul Skinback
Dear Neversoft,
How can i change a usb hd from being reconised as a hd to a removable device. I know it seems a strange question but i'm having trouble with MySlax Creater.

It's a long shot but try opening Device Manager and updating the driver for the USB Hard Disk to a generic driver... Chances are that it wont work but beyond that, I reckon you're fucked

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by The CandyMan on 01-25-2007 02:47 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
What makes me smile? My reflection... I'm a handsome fucker

LIES!

If I could change one thing, it would be to change the "normal" working hours that we all submit to but never actually agreed.

You can. It's called working for self (self-employment). Trust me, when you're the boss, you set the hours.

__________________

Posted by David Cameron on 01-25-2007 08:36 PM:

Do you know a way to copy email data from Outlook without having to actually log on to windows. ??

Thought maybe using a boot disk and copying the folder with xcopy. Problem could be the size of the file and getting it on to a cd, would a cd writer work in dos? Would a USB flash drive be detected in dos?

Posted by Neversoft on 01-26-2007 03:41 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by cupidstunt
Do you know a way to copy email data from Outlook without having to actually log on to windows. ??

Thought maybe using a boot disk and copying the folder with xcopy. Problem could be the size of the file and getting it on to a cd, would a cd writer work in dos? Would a USB flash drive be detected in dos?

Unless the data file is enormous, just grab something like a 2gb USB drive, install a bootable DOS on the USB key, download a "pack" from bootdisk.com or use "Hirens boot CD" (I think you can even set that to boot from USB rather than CD only) set the BIOS to boot from USB and BOSCH!

So yeah, don't fuck about burning CDs from DOS, just use a usb key - like you suggested. All I think you're lacking is the knowledge that most CMOS have a setting for boot from USB nowadays and how to make the usb key bootable... If you need detailed instructions let me know but its a fucking doddle, I just don't have a usb drive with me and frankly, I can't be fucking arsed

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 01-26-2007 11:43 PM:

Dear neversoft.....

My 32" LCD TV only has 1 DVI input, but I need to connect 2 DVI devices to it. I have looked around for a splitter/switch box but they all seem to be £50+

Whats the cheapest one you can find me, I will be upgrading my TV at the end of the year and dont want to spend to much of my little money on something that will become usless to me in the near future as i wont be needing it.

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by Neversoft on 01-26-2007 11:56 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Jules_Tavernier
Dear neversoft.....

My 32" LCD TV only has 1 DVI input, but I need to connect 2 DVI devices to it. I have looked around for a splitter/switch box but they all seem to be £50+

Whats the cheapest one you can find me, I will be upgrading my TV at the end of the year and dont want to spend to much of my little money on something that will become usless to me in the near future as i wont be needing it.

Are you sure you mean DVI and not HDMI?

::EDIT:: Fuck, who cares... I rock - http://www.cableuniverse.co.uk/cata...CFQU6EAod3EsoNg

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 01-27-2007 12:22 AM:

nice one!

yea i ment DVI, My tv has 1 DVI input, no HDMI (runs off in shame)

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by antihero on 01-28-2007 01:41 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

I have found some tunes I really want, but am unable to locate a source to purchase them. The tunes can be found here and use a flash player to listen.

Seeing as the people concerned dont seem that bothered with promoting their artists, I feel I have no option but to rip the tunes from the webpage. The only problem is i'm a clueless bastard and have no idea how to do this.

Could you point me in the direction of any software or scripts (f/fox), i could use? I dont use IE7 either as it is kack.

thanks.

antihero. x

Posted by Paul Skinback on 01-28-2007 08:46 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
If you need detailed instructions let me know but its a fucking doddle, I just don't have a usb drive with me and frankly, I can't be fucking arsed

Dear Neversoft,
Can i take you up on that offer, can you teach me how to make an Ophcrack flavoured usb boot thing ?!

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
try thinking of ATI as Christina Aguilera and Nvidia as Christina Aguilera in the "Dirty" video

Posted by Neversoft on 01-29-2007 03:43 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by antihero
Dear Neversoft,

I have found some tunes I really want, but am unable to locate a source to purchase them. The tunes can be found here and use a flash player to listen.

Seeing as the people concerned dont seem that bothered with promoting their artists, I feel I have no option but to rip the tunes from the webpage. The only problem is i'm a clueless bastard and have no idea how to do this.

Could you point me in the direction of any software or scripts (f/fox), i could use? I dont use IE7 either as it is kack.

thanks.

antihero. x

BLEUCH!

Some (most) of those apps are shareware or commercial but I doubt that presents any major obsticles

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 01-29-2007 03:57 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Paul Skinback
Dear Neversoft,
Can i take you up on that offer, can you teach me how to make an Ophcrack flavoured usb boot thing ?!

Well, I'm not going to write my own "article" (cos that would involve me building the USB jobby as well and frankly, I don't need one and can't be arsed doing one for you) however, I do have nice instructions.

They come in two parts:

1. How to format a USB drive and get it to boot into Linux using the contents of a "Live CD" - http://www.overclock.net/faqs/99317...-usb-drive.html

2. A Linux "live CD" image with ophcrack for you to spurge onto your USB key - http://lifehacker.com/software/pass...e-cd-226996.php or http://blog.tech-security.com/?p=15

In fairness, the tutorials are fairly straightforward and if you can't follow them you should probably leave the whole subject alone before you're arrested or something

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by dvd r on 01-29-2007 02:20 PM:

neversoft....

which scene in a 2006 non porn movie is best for power wanking ??????

p.s.
can you give me any tips so i can become a power wanking pro !!!!!

Posted by Neversoft on 01-31-2007 02:07 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by dvd r
neversoft....

which scene in a 2006 non porn movie is best for power wanking ??????

p.s.
can you give me any tips so i can become a power wanking pro !!!!!

Personally I'd recommend "Dead or Alive" simply because Holly Valance is sooooo fucking tasty I could rape her twice!

Pro Power-wanking tips:

1. Altering position helps. Try picking your knees up, try and aim for a postition in which a woman typically gives birth - it allows your balls to jangle

Alternatively, try wanking whilst on your hands and knees.

2. Latex gloves, especially the thicker non-surgical ones give a nice sensation. Plus, once you've spaffed all over your hand you can just turn the glove inside out (for a fun joke, pierce a finger and use the glove to squirt jets of cold, clotted man-fat into your friends eyes).

3. If power-wanking in the office toilet, colleagues entering the communal area can put you off your stroke. To counteract this, try and letch over the hottest woman in the office and memorize as much as you can. When you hear a colleague enter the toilets, try to imagine its the same woman whos arriving just in time for you to blast jism all over her nice blouse. CAUTION: If you tend to "kick" or flail your legs when you spaff, ensure your feet don't protrude beyond the confines of your cubicle or a passing colleague may think you're having a seizure and kick the door in to find you covered in wood chippings and spunk.

4. Shove a finger up your arse and massage your prostate into submission. If you can climax "front and back" simultaneously, you may never wank the "old" way again! NOTE: Things going up your arse can feel pretty darned good and it does NOT make you gay. Kissing guys and playing with their penises makes you gay.

5. Try and power-wank in a well ventillated area... Anybody stepping into a room where you've been fwapping will immediately notice the "fusty" smell unless you let some fresh air in.

6. If you're watching porn off DVD, don't stop the playback once you've jizzed, just press Standby so that you can resume from where you left off later. Alternatively, if you watch porn in XVid format, use VLC as the player as its more reliable at skipping to the "fun" parts than most players.

7. An elastic band or better still, a RUBBER cock-ring makes for a wonderfully agressive hard-on that practically fights back as you try and wank it into submission.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by dvd r on 02-15-2007 04:18 PM:

your beyond awesome as always neversoft...

Posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b on 02-15-2007 04:35 PM:

I read about wireless usb (not wifi, actual usb cables that are wireless) a few years ago, i can't find any new info if they have actually been made and if they are retailing... Do you have any info on these?

FANX MAN

__________________

Posted by darlowad v2.0b on 02-15-2007 06:03 PM:

Dear neversoft id be interested in reading a power wanking tutorial for woman

__________________
ezekiel 25.17 "the path of the righteous man"

Posted by fatfecker on 02-15-2007 06:21 PM:

Neversoft,

Do you know of a LiveCD that can be used to crack WEP and WPA-PSK passwords using the Intel 2200BG wireless card?

Ta,

Fatfecker

Posted by vanzan on 02-15-2007 06:52 PM:

I've been looking for an old song called "It's 'orrible being in love (when you're eight and a half) by Claire and Friends.
My dad loves it and hopefully it has nothing to do with little girls in school uniforms.

Can you find this anywhere to buy/steal/download/rent?

By the way thanks for that ophcrack link wait until I unleash that on my university network.

Posted by LOLobo on 02-15-2007 10:35 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by fatfecker
Neversoft,

Do you know of a LiveCD that can be used to crack WEP and WPA-PSK passwords using the Intel 2200BG wireless card?

Ta,

Fatfecker

Try BackTrack , it has ndiswrapper on it, you'll likely just need the windows driver (.inf & .sys) to get it going. You might even need ndiswrapper if your nic detects.

Sorry NS, I'll give your colon a proper washing when I visit.

Posted by Neversoft on 02-16-2007 12:02 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
I read about wireless usb (not wifi, actual usb cables that are wireless) a few years ago, i can't find any new info if they have actually been made and if they are retailing... Do you have any info on these?

FANX MAN

I believe a wireless standard for peripherals was recently ratified but as far as I know there's nothing for USB... I do vaguely remember the articles you're referring to though.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 02-16-2007 12:05 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by darlowad
Dear neversoft id be interested in reading a power wanking tutorial for woman

So would I... I'll ask your Mum to write one. I've heard your Mum can frigg so fast she can whip-up a meringue in her snatch

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 02-16-2007 12:11 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by fatfecker
Neversoft,

Do you know of a LiveCD that can be used to crack WEP and WPA-PSK passwords using the Intel 2200BG wireless card?

Ta,

Fatfecker

If LOLobo's post doesn't help, have a butchers at this list: http://www.frozentech.com/content/livecd.php

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 02-16-2007 12:20 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by vanzan
I've been looking for an old song called "It's 'orrible being in love (when you're eight and a half) by Claire and Friends.
My dad loves it and hopefully it has nothing to do with little girls in school uniforms.

Can you find this anywhere to buy/steal/download/rent?

By the way thanks for that ophcrack link wait until I unleash that on my university network.

HA! I remember that song - it won the "Saturday Superstore: Search for a Superstar" competition back in 1980-something. Weirdly enough, I've had the song stuck in my head recently

How to get a hold of it? Shit a brick dude... Finetune or Pandora maybe? Beyond that I'd suggest bending over and checking some p2p network like eMule or similar. I looked for places to buy it and came up blank, sorry

Can you remember "Grandad" by Clive Dunn or "Grandma We Love You" by the St. Winnifred's School Choir?

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Arthur Daily on 02-16-2007 07:47 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Can you remember "Grandad" by Clive Dunn or "Grandma We Love You" by the St. Winnifred's School Choir?

Grandad? i remember a TV show
"whos that walking down the street, funny legs and funny feet,
blaaa blaaaa blaaa its Grandad"

oh and, "Grandma We Love Youuuuu Grandma We dooooo
Though you may be far awayyy, I still love youuuuu"

Thank you thank you, im here all week

__________________
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Posted by Mother on 02-16-2007 08:09 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by vanzan
I've been looking for an old song called "It's 'orrible being in love (when you're eight and a half) by Claire and Friends.
My dad loves it and hopefully it has nothing to do with little girls in school uniforms.

Can you find this anywhere to buy/steal/download/rent?

It's on Classic Cuts #38.

http://www.djkit.co.uk/acatalog/Cla...ts_Novelty.html

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 02-16-2007 08:34 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by vanzan
I've been looking for an old song called "It's 'orrible being in love (when you're eight and a half) by Claire and Friends.
My dad loves it and hopefully it has nothing to do with little girls in school uniforms.

Can you find this anywhere to buy/steal/download/rent?

By the way thanks for that ophcrack link wait until I unleash that on my university network.

I got it if your still looking........

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by ZootedLooter on 02-16-2007 10:32 PM:

how long will it take neversoft to vaporize a 1/4 lb of weed?

...i would have lung cancer next week if i kept a stash that big

Posted by Dwaggy on 02-16-2007 10:37 PM:

Dear Neversoft

code:
         __          
      __/o \__       
      \____   \      
    __   //\   \   
 __/o \-//--\   \_/  
 \____  ___  \  |    
      ||   \ |\ |    
     _||   _||_||

__________________

i have sigs off

Posted by Neversoft on 02-17-2007 10:36 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by ZootedLooter
how long will it take neversoft to vaporize a 1/4 lb of weed?

...i would have lung cancer next week if i kept a stash that big

... A long, long time

The Volcano uses hardly any weed so I'm guessing months!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 02-17-2007 10:38 AM:

Re: Dear Neversoft

quote:

Originally posted by Dwaggy

code:
         __          
      __/o \__       
      \____   \      
    __   //\   \   
 __/o \-//--\   \_/  
 \____  ___  \  |    
      ||   \ |\ |    
     _||   _||_||

code:       ^                                               
       |                                               
       +                                               
       |    THIS IS NO LONGER A CONSTITUTIONAL REPUBLIC
       |                                               
       |      I NOW DECLARE THIS TO BE A MOLESTOCRACY  
       |                                               
       |                                               
       A                                               
      ===                ________                      
     /EEE\               |______|                      
    //EEE\\              |*(  )*|                      
___//_____\\_____________|O|  |O|_______

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by zoro25 on 02-17-2007 03:29 PM:

Dear MrNeversoft.

My question for you today is,

whats with groups releasing samples which ruin the movie plot line.

Examples - Norbit - 20th - The Sample contains the last 3 minutes of the movie and credits.

So now I know how it ends.

Also Children Of Men (not sure of group think it may have been LRC)

Sample contained the scene where Julianne Moore got shot. So when I saw her towards the start of the movie I was just waiting for her to get shot.

I'm not moaning really as the releases containing these spoilers have been great quality and there is nothing inthe scene rules about samples containing potential spoilers but surely common sense should prevail?.

So your opinion?

Posted by Neversoft on 02-18-2007 12:03 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by zoro25
Dear MrNeversoft.

My question for you today is,

whats with groups releasing samples which ruin the movie plot line.

Examples - Norbit - 20th - The Sample contains the last 3 minutes of the movie and credits.

So now I know how it ends.

Also Children Of Men (not sure of group think it may have been LRC)

Sample contained the scene where Julianne Moore got shot. So when I saw her towards the start of the movie I was just waiting for her to get shot.

I'm not moaning really as the releases containing these spoilers have been great quality and there is nothing inthe scene rules about samples containing potential spoilers but surely common sense should prevail?.

So your opinion?

The simple answer is: It's a combination of the groups just picking a random scene and bone idleness (in the case of the last scene being used) and there's little you can do to avoid it, except...

... Not viewing the sample

Scene rules dictate that although the releases are rar'd, they aren't compressed (they use the "store" option in Winrar to create an uncompressed archive). Therefore you can normally drag/drop an individual "random" rar into a ROBUST player like VLC and it will play. This doesn't always work with xvids but if they give you shit the first rar of the archive should play fine.

So there you go, FUCK THE SAMPLE

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by vanzan on 02-19-2007 05:23 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Jules_Tavernier
I got it if your still looking........

I'd love to get it...will make the old man happy! pm sent.

Class forum.

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 02-19-2007 06:42 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by zoro25
Dear MrNeversoft.

My question for you today is,

whats with groups releasing samples which ruin the movie plot line.

Examples - Norbit - 20th - The Sample contains the last 3 minutes of the movie and credits.

So now I know how it ends.

Also Children Of Men (not sure of group think it may have been LRC)

Sample contained the scene where Julianne Moore got shot. So when I saw her towards the start of the movie I was just waiting for her to get shot.

So your opinion?

Well done you cunt ear, now im going to spend the entire movie waiting for her to get shot, thanks for spoiling the movei for me.

@vanzan - I sent it to you, hope your pop's enjoys

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by cobalt on 02-19-2007 07:55 PM:

Neversoft,

While coming up to traffic ahead I often put my car in neutral and freewheel/coast, slowing down until I have to put it back into gear and continue accelerating or brake when I actuallly reach the traffic.

I often do this from 3rd and sometimes fourth. On a rare occasion I can coast from 4th doing 70mph down to a snail’s pace, this means I normally jump from the high gear to the low, missing out 2nd and 3rd, although always putting it in the gear required by the speed that I'm travelling at. (Never 4th to 1st still doing 60 for example).

What damage, if any, am I doing to my car's gearbox or engine?

Posted by wanksock on 02-19-2007 08:30 PM:

dear neversoft

i took your advice and bought a nds lite with supercard (i got an r4ds though) and a 1gb transflash.

ive hardly put it down since i got it on saturday, fucking brilliant.

pls recommend me some good homebrew or retail apps, like an ftp client, irc client, some homebrew browser... anything really...

thanks.

Posted by Neversoft on 02-20-2007 04:39 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by cobalt
Neversoft,

While coming up to traffic ahead I often put my car in neutral and freewheel/coast, slowing down until I have to put it back into gear and continue accelerating or brake when I actually reach the traffic.

I often do this from 3rd and sometimes fourth. On a rare occasion I can coast from 4th doing 70mph down to a snail’s pace, this means I normally jump from the high gear to the low, missing out 2nd and 3rd, although always putting it in the gear required by the speed that I'm travelling at. (Never 4th to 1st still doing 60 for example).

What damage, if any, am I doing to my car's gearbox or engine?

Damn, I hate car questions (I don't drive) but after a quick Google and the application of a few neurons I have come to the following conclusion: There is no clear evidence that it dramatically increases wear and tear on your car parts and more importantly, any repair costs would be negated by the cost savings. Having said that, I >believe< it is illegal to coast in the UK and it may be in others as you have less control of the vehicle... Check your local highway code.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 02-20-2007 05:11 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by wanksock
dear neversoft

i took your advice and bought a nds lite with supercard (i got an r4ds though) and a 1gb transflash.

ive hardly put it down since i got it on saturday, fucking brilliant.

pls recommend me some good homebrew or retail apps, like an ftp client, irc client, some homebrew browser... anything really...

thanks.

Well, homebrew applications I'd recommend are as follows:

DSOrganize (organizer, IRC client and viewer)
LMP (Licks Media Player - iPod inspired audio player)
BeUp (MSN Messenger client)
DSVNC (Remote PC client)
NDSMail (email and RSS client)
OKiwi/Gnirfleo (browsers, but still heavily in beta)

For homebrew news, visit these sites:

www.dev-scene.com
www.drunkencoders.com
www.ndshb.com

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Arthur Daily on 02-20-2007 04:25 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

My Viscus clutch isn't engaging propperly
at what temperature would/should it engage.
Is there a way to test a Viscus clutch?

Also, do you know a place in the UK where i can get Part 5

Link

__________________
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Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 02-20-2007 08:09 PM:

Dear Neversoft....

What tune was on the B Side of the jungle tune Technology (i think thats what it was called) , tech tech tech nology.....

I cant find nuffing anywhere, when i google it all i get is Technology websites :/

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by Arthur Daily on 02-20-2007 09:33 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Jules_Tavernier
D, tech tech tech nology.....

i remember a tune that went "tech tech tech nology"
was called 'shes breakin up'

something about the bionic man...

B side was 'Boom Box'

but im WAY off init lol

__________________
*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

Posted by David Cameron on 02-20-2007 09:57 PM:

Neversoft if you can answer this I will suck your little cock.

Looking for a house track from about 1996. This is what I can remember of it

It had some guy that sounded like gnarls barkley on Crazy, he sang something like this, something before it then into.

..........."crashed right into a wall of your love".................
"I saw you were comin Head on, head on"

It sounded like he was singing "Crushed right into a ball of your love" but I have been informed that it was wall not ball.

I had it on an old Daniel Davoli mix tape but I lost that years ago and I have been looking for this track ever since. There was a sort of follow up track to it, a womans voice singing over a House beat, the 'chorus' being "Head On" again.

Help me stud

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 02-20-2007 10:09 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
i remember a tune that went "tech tech tech nology"
was called 'shes breakin up'

something about the bionic man...

B side was 'Boom Box'

but im WAY off init lol

Gentlemen we can rebuild him, we have the technology, we have the capability to make the worlds first bionic man.....

BIG TUNE!!!!! I love old skool.

But nope, its not the tune im after

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by Neversoft on 02-21-2007 02:00 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Dear Neversoft,

My Viscus clutch isn't engaging propperly
at what temperature would/should it engage.
Is there a way to test a Viscus clutch?

Also, do you know a place in the UK where i can get Part 5

Link

A BMW 523i Climate Capacitor? Errr... ok. From what I can tell, the climate capacitor has a tendency to wear out and there's little information on the blighters anywhere (fuckin' BMW!). I have a few treats for you though:

The Pusher Fan Assembly can be purchased from these horny bastards: FAB Direct (BMW Breaking/recycling specialists)

It's the same with testing the Viscous Switch, the best I can come up with is this awesome quote: "Take a rolled-up newspaper, about what you can encircle with thumb and forefinger. Stand on the exhaust side of the engine (no matter what side the steering wheel's on) with the engine at operating temp. Try to stop the fan with the end of newspaper. If the fan wins, the clutch is OK; if the paper wins the clutch is a paperweight.

Also, the fan should not spin freely when cold."

Is that any use to ya?

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 02-21-2007 02:16 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Jules_Tavernier
Dear Neversoft....

What tune was on the B Side of the jungle tune Technology (i think thats what it was called) , tech tech tech nology.....

I cant find nuffing anywhere, when i google it all i get is Technology websites :/

Do you mean "Prisoners Of Technology" from Fresh Kutt Records? Here's the tracklist...

1 The Trick Of Technology (Time To Work Mix)
2 Feeeeeeeeeeeelllllllll (Bruce's Bonus Mix)
3 Battlemaster (Life Story Mix)
4 Total Control (Ricky's Runaway Mix)

The track you refer to is track 1 - pick your B-Side

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 02-21-2007 02:29 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by cupidstunt
Neversoft if you can answer this I will suck your little cock.

Looking for a house track from about 1996. This is what I can remember of it

It had some guy that sounded like gnarls barkley on Crazy, he sang something like this, something before it then into.

..........."crashed right into a wall of your love".................
"I saw you were comin Head on, head on"

It sounded like he was singing "Crushed right into a ball of your love" but I have been informed that it was wall not ball.

I had it on an old Daniel Davoli mix tape but I lost that years ago and I have been looking for this track ever since. There was a sort of follow up track to it, a womans voice singing over a House beat, the 'chorus' being "Head On" again.

Help me stud

I think it might be "Head On" by Head Nodding Society but your description sucks arse so I dunno.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 02-21-2007 02:44 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Do you mean "Prisoners Of Technology" from Fresh Kutt Records? Here's the tracklist...

1 The Trick Of Technology (Time To Work Mix)
2 Feeeeeeeeeeeelllllllll (Bruce's Bonus Mix)
3 Battlemaster (Life Story Mix)
4 Total Control (Ricky's Runaway Mix)

The track you refer to is track 1 - pick your B-Side

BIG TUNE!!! but nope thats not it

but you still get a peck on the (ass) cheek for reminding me about......

Don't think feeeeeeeeeeeeeel. It's like a finger pointing away to the moon. Don't concentrate on the finger, or you will miss all the heavenly glory

ps. i think it might have been either roni size or ed rush

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 02-21-2007 02:50 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by cupidstunt

I had it on an old Daniel Davoli mix tape

was it a Essential Mix ???

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by Neversoft on 02-21-2007 04:27 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Jules_Tavernier
ps. i think it might have been either roni size or ed rush

Ed Rush & Nico - Technology (No U-Turn Records)

Tracklisting:
1 Technology (Radio Edit)
2 Technology (Original)
3 Neutron

Is this fucking cunt it?

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Paul Skinback on 02-21-2007 10:14 PM:

Dear Neversoft,
My XP setup is currently buggered, whenever i try to boot it into Windows i get an error saying "Windows could not start. The following file is missing or
corrupted \windows\system\vgaoem.fon." After trying an the XP recovery menu to no avail, i tryed using Hiren's latest boot cd, which ended in some programs saying that the partition is fucked and others saying it was fine. Basically; is there anyway to fix it without doing a clean install?

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
try thinking of ATI as Christina Aguilera and Nvidia as Christina Aguilera in the "Dirty" video

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 02-21-2007 10:33 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Paul Skinback
Basically; is there anyway to fix it without doing a clean install?

read replys here

http://www.geekstogo.com/forum/lofi...hp/t117127.html

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by Neversoft on 02-22-2007 04:06 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Paul Skinback
Dear Neversoft,
My XP setup is currently buggered, whenever i try to boot it into Windows i get an error saying "Windows could not start. The following file is missing or
corrupted \windows\system\vgaoem.fon." After trying an the XP recovery menu to no avail, i tryed using Hiren's latest boot cd, which ended in some programs saying that the partition is fucked and others saying it was fine. Basically; is there anyway to fix it without doing a clean install?

Personally I doubt you'll recover it... Even if the drive isn't cunted it will probably need a reformat to recover. Try Jule's suggestion but I don't hold out much hope, soz

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by spiketoo on 02-23-2007 12:06 AM:

Dear Mr. Soft:

First and foremost, I want to thank you for your sound and sage advice here. I've learned everything from just the right amount of lube to use in becoming a power wanker, how to fix a BMW clutch, how to reinstall XP and finally how to fend off Lobo's mum when she's in heat. I'm a better person for all of this.

My questions is this: is sucide painless? I do so wanna get it right. Nothing here in the Kolonies is worth living for it seems - our Prez is a fag, homeless are everywhere, Punjab recruiters are fucked and cant\wont find me a job, and my fav hockey team is gonna get rimmed in the first round like always. So other then the pleasure I derive here and from dl'ing porn, not much to live for.

I'm a wus and dont like pain, other then getting my balls squeezed just before I spurt. So what you recommend as the least painful way to die?

Thank you for your attention in this matter.

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 02-23-2007 12:12 AM:

Lay in a hot bath and cut your wrists, you will fade out and the will be no pain.

Or just jump off a bridge, as soon as you hit the ground you will instantly die.

Just remember that EVERYONE hates you (including your family) and the is no other way forward. grow some fucking balls and kill yourself now, or you will be sat there like the misrible cunt you are for the rest of your pathetic life.

Now fuck off and die.

EDIT: oh yea, i forgot to add....

The is no afterlife, only nothingness. it will be exaclty the same as before you where born, can you remember that ?? before you was born ??? nope! , thats the nothingness that will come when you die.

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by Neversoft on 02-23-2007 04:16 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by spiketoo
Dear Mr. Soft:

First and foremost, I want to thank you for your sound and sage advice here. I've learned everything from just the right amount of lube to use in becoming a power wanker, how to fix a BMW clutch, how to reinstall XP and finally how to fend off Lobo's mum when she's in heat. I'm a better person for all of this.

My questions is this: is sucide painless? I do so wanna get it right. Nothing here in the Kolonies is worth living for it seems - our Prez is a fag, homeless are everywhere, Punjab recruiters are fucked and cant\wont find me a job, and my fav hockey team is gonna get rimmed in the first round like always. So other then the pleasure I derive here and from dl'ing porn, not much to live for.

I'm a wus and dont like pain, other then getting my balls squeezed just before I spurt. So what you recommend as the least painful way to die?

Thank you for your attention in this matter.

Well, theres always sleeping tablets, they're quick, painless but slightly wussy. Why not go out in style but still make it painless?

Ingredients:
1. Methodone, Heroin or some heavy-duty prescription painkillers and your preferred "delivery system"
2. A Cock Ring
3. Vast quantities of porn
4. A large plain/white wall or floorspace
5. Box-cutter knife

Method:
1. Position yourself in front of the wall, place the cock-ring on your flaccid knob.
2. Start the porn.
3. Prepare the drugs.
4. Begin power-wanking.
5. When you start to reach the "vinegar strokes", consume the drugs.
6. Once in a suitably dazed state and about to ejaculate, cut the end of your cock off with the box-cutter knife.
7. Spray a suicide note onto the wall with your cock... Note the years of sexual abuse at the hands of your parents as the main motivator.
8. Bleed to death with your tortured cock in your hand.

I hope everything goes well in your efforts!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by bartleby on 02-23-2007 05:57 AM:

dear neversoft ,

is there any way i can cut the black bars off an xvid so it just leaves the picture ?

cheers

__________________
snoochie boochies

Posted by Neversoft on 02-23-2007 07:23 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by bartleby
dear neversoft ,

is there any way i can cut the black bars off an xvid so it just leaves the picture ?

cheers

Well, some players are capable of removing the black bars (VLC for example) or you could reencode it but the end result would be the same regardless of how you do it... Vertically distorted video

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by bartleby on 02-23-2007 07:00 PM:

i wanted to put it on my phone so vlc isnt an option

__________________
snoochie boochies

Posted by Neversoft on 02-24-2007 12:34 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by bartleby
i wanted to put it on my phone so vlc isnt an option

I that case you'll need to reencode the bastard anyway so just use whatever you're using to convert - unless its shit it should have a cropping option. Otherwise buy/borrow/steal one of those commercial apps.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 02-24-2007 10:54 PM:

Dear neversoft......

You know those birthday/christmas cards you can get that sing a song or play some music when you open them.....

Do you know of any that you can add your own voice, song or music to ???

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by Neversoft on 02-24-2007 11:14 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Jules_Tavernier
Dear neversoft......

You know those birthday/christmas cards you can get that sing a song or play some music when you open them.....

Do you know of any that you can add your own voice, song or music to ???

Yes I do... and you can find them here; http://www.alibaba.com/productsearc...eting_Card.html

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 02-24-2007 11:31 PM:

nice one

Im going to make a grandma we love you birthday card with my neice for my mum

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by dvd r on 02-26-2007 08:26 PM:

what happened to that site ???

neversoft, where's the site you once linked to that had a female putting a telephone up her ass. while blondie's 'hanging on the telephone' played...

i meant to put this in the ask neversoft thread. but i messed up sorry....

Posted by bartleby on 02-27-2007 05:37 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
I that case you'll need to reencode the bastard anyway so just use whatever you're using to convert - unless its shit it should have a cropping option. Otherwise buy/borrow/steal one of those commercial apps.

yeah the program that comes with it sucks !

Can you suggest one ? ,its for a nokia n93 by the way

__________________
snoochie boochies

Posted by Neversoft on 02-27-2007 01:35 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by bartleby
yeah the program that comes with it sucks !

Can you suggest one ? ,its for a nokia n93 by the way

If it supports 3GP then try Apollo.3GP.Video.Converter.v2.3.7.WinAll.Cracked-EuViN - I've used Apollo before and it's pretty decent and this is the latest version.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 02-27-2007 03:23 PM:

Re: what happened to that site ???

quote:
Originally posted by dvd r
neversoft, where's the site you once linked to that had a female putting a telephone up her ass. while blondie's 'hanging on the telephone' played...

i meant to put this in the ask neversoft thread. but i messed up sorry....

I've merged your thread with the "proper" one. As for the video you're after - I can't locate the actual vid but I'm fairly certain it was on www.ytmnd.com

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by dvd r on 02-27-2007 11:07 PM:

ok i'll start looking.

Posted by frsoldier on 03-01-2007 11:41 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by dvd r
ok i'll start looking.

dvd r, you can find the video also on emule, just type chick telephone ring ,it's a very famous video

Posted by dvd r on 03-01-2007 08:56 PM:

*thank you* *thank you* *thank you* !!!!

Posted by geoffbob30 on 03-04-2007 04:33 PM:

dear neversoft,
i have just been given an old dell laptop for my daughter, the model is the inspiron 8500 but when i go to get the video drivers from the dell web site they don`t work in fact after installation the screen goes black well after restart i get the dell boot screen then the xp loading screen then it goes black, i can hear xp loading up but no pic. any suggestions would be much appreiated

Posted by frsoldier on 03-05-2007 10:21 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by geoffbob30
dear neversoft,
i have just been given an old dell laptop for my daughter, the model is the inspiron 8500 but when i go to get the video drivers from the dell web site they don`t work in fact after installation the screen goes black well after restart i get the dell boot screen then the xp loading screen then it goes black, i can hear xp loading up but no pic. any suggestions would be much appreiated

after Dell logo, try press F8 will enter in Safe Mode, then you can choose interactive mode, you will choose if load all drivers or just the base one, then XP must restart to fix the problem.

Posted by Neversoft on 03-05-2007 04:58 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by geoffbob30
dear neversoft,
i have just been given an old dell laptop for my daughter, the model is the inspiron 8500 but when i go to get the video drivers from the dell web site they don`t work in fact after installation the screen goes black well after restart i get the dell boot screen then the xp loading screen then it goes black, i can hear xp loading up but no pic. any suggestions would be much appreiated

Your best bet is to probably hunt down the chipset drivers directly from the horses mouth... A program called "Belarc Advisor" will tell you exactly what graphics chipset is in that beast then you can go grab the required drivers - although it's a Dell Inspiron 8500 it's features and chipset will vary depending on what "upgrades" were purchased at the time.

If the "official" drivers give you shit and you have an Nvidia or ATI chipset in that beast (as opposed to some Intel or SiS dogshit) then you can get alternative drivers with all the vendors rubbish removed from http://www.omegadrivers.net/

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by geoffbob30 on 03-05-2007 06:16 PM:

used the omega drivers worked like a charm thanks a lot

Posted by vanzan on 03-08-2007 05:30 PM:

Not sure if this thread is closed but O mighty Neversoft I have another conundrum for you.

I'm looking for a decent mini digital camera...I posted on another message board and a user who visited the US on holidays says he saw great ones in electrical shops in the San Diego/Las Vegas area. They were 3mp, $15-$40, record video and audio, take sd cards, and recharge via USB....he thinks the brand was Philips?

I checked eBay and nothing...can you find these things for me? *edit* And I don't mean those awful square keychain type ones all over eBay

Posted by Neversoft on 03-09-2007 11:21 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by vanzan
Not sure if this thread is closed but O mighty Neversoft I have another conundrum for you.

I'm looking for a decent mini digital camera...I posted on another message board and a user who visited the US on holidays says he saw great ones in electrical shops in the San Diego/Las Vegas area. They were 3mp, $15-$40, record video and audio, take sd cards, and recharge via USB....he thinks the brand was Philips?

I checked eBay and nothing...can you find these things for me? *edit* And I don't mean those awful square keychain type ones all over eBay

I can't find anything on the Philips website that even suggests they do cameras... Are you sure you didn't mean Panasonic or Praktica?

Anyway, it doesn't matter, you don't specify where you are but $15-40 is FUCK ALL in the UK and certainly not enough to get you a 3mp camera. I'd recommend trying some price comparison sites as they're often a good place to start window shopping.

I checked Kelkoo and found these: http://digitalcameras.kelkoo.co.uk/...a-~sb-altPrice+

but you might want to try pricerunner and/or pricegrabber as well... Just dive into the digital photography section and sort the fuckers in price order.

Oh, and this thread isn't closed

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Takkouri on 03-10-2007 09:39 PM:

Dear Mr. Neversoft

What is your favourite movie of all time?

If you are a little bit unsure and can't really decide the top 5 will do.

Also what is the longest period you have not inhaled THC?, I don't mean from birth to first inhalation, I mean from first inhalation to present.

Also who do you think is the biggest arsehole on VCDQ?

(Apologies if these are dupes it is a rather long thread)

What web site has the longest thread ever?

What is the mating season for swans?

Do animals only shag in mating season?

Are humans and monkeys the only mammals that masterbate?

Do monkeys masterbate? (I'm sure I saw one pulling his plonker in a zoo once)

Posted by Neversoft on 03-12-2007 01:16 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Takkouri
Dear Mr. Neversoft

What is your favourite movie of all time?

If you are a little bit unsure and can't really decide the top 5 will do.

Also what is the longest period you have not inhaled THC?, I don't mean from birth to first inhalation, I mean from first inhalation to present.

Also who do you think is the biggest arsehole on VCDQ?

(Apologies if these are dupes it is a rather long thread)

What web site has the longest thread ever?

What is the mating season for swans?

Do animals only shag in mating season?

Are humans and monkeys the only mammals that masterbate?

Do monkeys masterbate? (I'm sure I saw one pulling his plonker in a zoo once)

1. Alien, Aliens or the 80s remake of The Thing.
2. About three weeks.
3. It has to be Cupidstunt, although I still "like" him - I think he likes being an arsehole and I like him being an arsehole

4. A (now deleted) thread on IRCHub.com had over 72817 posts in one thread... I can't find any references to bigger threads than that.
5. The mute swan, which is the white swan most commonly seen in the British Isles, will normally mate at anytime from spring through to summer, with the cygnets being born anytime from May through to July. They begin mating at roughy 4 years old and normally mate with other members of the same flock.
6. No, many animals don't have a mating season - find a dog and wank it off if you need proof!
7. No, dogs will let you wank them off and Dolphins have been known to get hardons for divers... I suspect many other animals "get off" outside mating season.
8. Yes, monkeys spend a lot of their recreational time biffing... That and throwing their shit at people

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by cobalt on 03-12-2007 11:00 PM:

Neversoft,

Assuming the makers dont take orders from Joe Bloggs and I don't want to pay shipping costs from Australia anyway, where is the best place for me to get my hands on one of these: 1:1 scale model?

I think it would go rather well in my office. I saw one in a GAME store window, but they wont sell it. After use it goes back to the head quarters and sold for charity. What the hell a poor person is gonna want with it I have no idea....

Posted by Neversoft on 03-13-2007 01:05 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cobalt
Neversoft,

Assuming the makers dont take orders from Joe Bloggs and I don't want to pay shipping costs from Australia anyway, where is the best place for me to get my hands on one of these: 1:1 scale model?

I think it would go rather well in my office. I saw one in a GAME store window, but they wont sell it. After use it goes back to the head quarters and sold for charity. What the hell a poor person is gonna want with it I have no idea....

There's a few things you could try but my best suggestions would be:

1. Contact Game to see where/how the charity auctions are done. email them at [email protected]
2. Contact the UK office of Eidos
3. Check eBay.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by VBitter on 03-13-2007 01:45 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
There's a few things you could try but my best suggestions would be:

1. Contact Game to see where/how the charity auctions are done. email them at [email protected]
2. Contact the UK office of Eidos
3. Check eBay.

4. pay me and ill send you one

__________________

Posted by cobalt on 03-13-2007 11:56 PM:

Thanks for the info NS, I will throw them an email and see what comes up.

quote:
Originally posted by VBitter
4. pay me and ill send you one

Got one of thoese going spare have you!?

Posted by Arthur Daily on 03-26-2007 03:31 PM:

Dear Neversoft,
I have a BMW 523i and i cant find Fuse number 75
Its not with the others in the glove box
Or in the boot.

Any ideas?

EDIT: i found it HERE

__________________
*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

Posted by danimal39 on 03-26-2007 10:11 PM:

neversoft ,my question is when will the new hybrid hard drives be available for desktops,i hear vistas performance is unreal with them ,i know they're available for laptops,what do you think?

Posted by antihero on 03-27-2007 12:33 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Dear Anybody,
I have a BMW 523i and i cant find Fuse number 75
Its not with the others in the glove box
Or in the boot.

Any ideas?

EDIT: i found it HERE

its behind the glovebox...

__________________
How does Stephen Hawking run?

On double A's

Posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b on 04-01-2007 09:22 PM:

Hi NS, have been offered a brand spanking new Philips x59 for veryyyyyy cheap, only downside is that it comes with no battery (dont ask). Would you be able to come up with a link to purchase such a battery. Have tried everywhere but i cant seem to see one for the x59.

Cheers lad.

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 04-02-2007 12:57 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Hi NS, have been offered a brand spanking new Philips x59 for veryyyyyy cheap, only downside is that it comes with no battery (dont ask). Would you be able to come up with a link to purchase such a battery. Have tried everywhere but i cant seem to see one for the x59.

Cheers lad.

Yup, it uses a Philips Li-ION 3800 battery... The Notebook is only sold via Dixons group and therefore parts are a twat to get. You *should* be able to obtain it through their official support site of TheTechGuys.com but ultimately you'll be forwarded to www.partmaster.co.uk - so try them. I couldn't see that specific model's battery but they have replacements for the X52, X60 and X61 so I reckon its the best place to start.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 04-04-2007 02:22 PM:

Dear Neversoft....

What is this song

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by Neversoft on 04-04-2007 02:56 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Jules_Tavernier
Dear Neversoft....

What is this song

Surely you're fuckin with me bitch? The object of this thread is to ask me stuff that you want/need answering so I hope that's ALL you have on that tune... No extra bits, no names, no "context" of where it came from or anything? If you're just trying to make things hard for me, fuck off

Oh, no... I don't know what the song is

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 04-04-2007 03:00 PM:

I did have the entire song but I sampled the start (which is the bit I attached here) and now I cant find the mp3 on my computer, only the bit I sampled.

All I remember is that the first lyrics go hey hey, i think the song is from the 80's. apart from that I dont have a clue.

I was hopeing you had heard the song and would know it, oh well hope some other scally has heard it and knows.

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by Neversoft on 04-04-2007 03:26 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Jules_Tavernier
I did have the entire song but I sampled the start (which is the bit I attached here) and now I cant find the mp3 on my computer, only the bit I sampled.

All I remember is that the first lyrics go hey hey, i think the song is from the 80's. apart from that I dont have a clue.

I was hopeing you had heard the song and would know it, oh well hope some other scally has heard it and knows.

My best advice is to grab a "portion" of the lyric, shove it in quotes and Google the twat - chances are one of those Lyrics sites will have it and BOSCH!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Frank1213 on 04-05-2007 04:10 PM:

Name of that song

The name of that song is Senses Working Overtime by the band XTC. Here is a video on you tube of the lads back in the 80's doing a little promo video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xeLTjuNX0c.

These are also the guys who did Dear God and the Ballad of Peter Pumpkin head. Really clever little pop band actually.

Damnit you have to take the period off of the end of that link.

Here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xeLTjuNX0c

Posted by Neversoft on 04-09-2007 06:34 PM:

^Thanks Guv

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by The CandyMan on 04-09-2007 11:43 PM:

After someone anal raped my Masters thread (by closing it, thanks!) I have to ask:

Have you ever played a round of (real) Golf?

__________________

Posted by cobalt on 04-10-2007 12:42 AM:

Once you have answered the CandyMan any chance you could find me a truly free but legal copy of UltraMon, maybe an old version or something? I need it for work, and I don't think a cracked copy is gonna cut it

Failing that, any suggestion of another multi monitor app, only three real requirements...

1. Free,
2. Creates a second task bar on the second window, which is dockable to any side of the monitor (This seemed good, but it does not allow you to move it from the bottom of the screen).
3. It adds a little button next to 'close', 'minimise' and 'restore' that moves the current app to the other screen.

Good luck, and god speed!

Posted by Neversoft on 04-10-2007 01:46 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by The CandyMan
Have you ever played a round of (real) Golf?

No, but I don't have to try it to dislike it... Have you ever been violently sodomized by a bear? No, but my guess is you've already decided against it. Golf is exactly the same as being violently sodomized by a bear.

I've played Pitch and Putt and Krazy Golf. Hell, I even play Golf on the Wii. In fact, I think Golf in concept isn't too bad a pass-time, my issues lie elsewhere... With Golfers. Fuck them, they're worse than Jehovah's Witnesses, trying to inflict their cranially-challenged dogma on normal people, people who have better things to do than dress like a clown and chat inane dogshit to people they only pretend to like. Golfers a fakes, elitist and probably sexually abuse livestock for money*

So, as I've said before, Golf as a concept is fine with me but it's let down by the fuckholes who extol it's virtues like it was a dying cult.

*Except you, you're the ONLY Golfer that isn't a cuntwit.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 04-10-2007 02:05 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cobalt
Once you have answered the CandyMan any chance you could find me a truly free but legal copy of UltraMon, maybe an old version or something? I need it for work, and I don't think a cracked copy is gonna cut it

Failing that, any suggestion of another multi monitor app, only three real requirements...

1. Free,
2. Creates a second task bar on the second window, which is dockable to any side of the monitor (This seemed good, but it does not allow you to move it from the bottom of the screen).
3. It adds a little button next to 'close', 'minimise' and 'restore' that moves the current app to the other screen.

Good luck, and god speed!

I've done some digging around and can't find anything that beats the functionality of Ultramon or Multimon tbh. Having said that, Ultramon is damned cheap for something you find so useful, talk to your boss

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by The CandyMan on 04-10-2007 02:49 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
No, but I don't have to try it to dislike it... Have you ever been violently sodomized by a bear? No, but my guess is you've already decided against it. Golf is exactly the same as being violently sodomized by a bear.

I've played Pitch and Putt and Krazy Golf. Hell, I even play Golf on the Wii. In fact, I think Golf in concept isn't too bad a pass-time, my issues lie elsewhere... With Golfers. Fuck them, they're worse than Jehovah's Witnesses, trying to inflict their cranially-challenged dogma on normal people, people who have better things to do than dress like a clown and chat inane dogshit to people they only pretend to like. Golfers a fakes, elitist and probably sexually abuse livestock for money*

So, as I've said before, Golf as a concept is fine with me but it's let down by the fuckholes who extol it's virtues like it was a dying cult.

*Except you, you're the ONLY Golfer that isn't a cuntwit.

Seems that golf must be a different sort of beast in the UK (knickers? What the fuck?) than over here in the states. An open offer stands for anyone who comes to Central Ohio for a free game of Golf with The CandyMan (but you have to pay your own airfare and housing I'm just covering the green fees and beer!)

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 04-10-2007 06:43 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by The CandyMan
knickers? What the fuck?

We "invented" the language and you arseholes bastardised it... Learn to respect your mother tongue because without it, you twats would be speaking German

Also, are you claiming that Golf in the US isn't played by supercilious jerks who deserve to be shot, fisted then shot again? Either way, get the fuck out of this thread unless you're asking me a question

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 04-12-2007 03:53 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Takkouri
What web site has the longest thread ever?

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
4. A (now deleted) thread on IRCHub.com had over 72817 posts in one thread... I can't find any references to bigger threads than that.

I have to take back my original answer after landing this considerable beast...

The “Bump It” thread is currently at 7,572,334 replies over 504,823 pages: http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/vie....php?t=13179136 (its some shitty thing for Anime-loving fuckholes)

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Dwaggy on 04-12-2007 04:42 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
I have to take back my original answer after landing this considerable beast...

The “Bump It” thread is currently at 7,572,334 replies over 504,823 pages: http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/vie....php?t=13179136 (its some shitty thing for Anime-loving fuckholes)

Behold, the biggest forum community on the internet. I'm not joking.

__________________

i have sigs off

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 04-16-2007 11:23 PM:

Dear Neversoft.......

Where can I by a ice-cream making machein that makes ice-cream like you get from the ice-cream vans, the mr. whippy ones. I need one thats for te kitchen, no a big fuckining 3ft tall one like in the vans.

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by Neversoft on 04-17-2007 02:39 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Jules_Tavernier
Dear Neversoft.......

Where can I by a ice-cream making machein that makes ice-cream like you get from the ice-cream vans, the mr. whippy ones. I need one thats for te kitchen, no a big fuckining 3ft tall one like in the vans.

There's plenty of domestic ice cream makers that do soft ice cream but I can't find any that have the Mr Whippy "pump" thingymajig that you're wanting... Steal an ice cream van or visit your local scrap yard to try and pick one up

Otherwise you'r elooking at trying eBay or checking a manufacturer such as http://www.telme.it/ECOREMA-ESPRESSO.htm to see if they do home jobbies as well as commercial ones.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Jules_Tavernier on 04-18-2007 01:14 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
but I can't find any that have the Mr Whippy "pump" thingymajig that you're wanting...

I can't either, fucking black cunts! that why i come and aksed you. I got a little ice-cream maker but you have to put it in the freezer for 24 hours before you can use it and the ice-cream is pretty shit. frozen yogurt is nice though. but fuck all that, I want a mr.whippy in my kitchen right fucking now.

__________________
And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

Posted by 65dos on 04-21-2007 02:03 AM:

Dear Neversoft

My friend wants a pc laptop to take to university with her. Now that we are getting $2 for every £1, would it make sense to buy one from America? Would she be charged any import taxes or whatever? If so, any ways to avoid them? Doesn't need to be strictly legal.

Loads of love,
this guy

Posted by Neversoft on 04-21-2007 06:35 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by 65dos
Dear Neversoft

My friend wants a pc laptop to take to university with her. Now that we are getting $2 for every £1, would it make sense to buy one from America? Would she be charged any import taxes or whatever? If so, any ways to avoid them? Doesn't need to be strictly legal.

Loads of love,
this guy

Yes, it *should* be considerably cheaper. The only issue is the supplied voltage so you'd either need a step-up converter for the UK mains or a UK version of the Laptop's power supply. The DVD drive may also be region locked but that's not really a problem

but beyond the PSU and DVD region I don't envisage any issues beyond the warranty.

I'd suggest going private to hopefully avoid those pesky taxes - most eBay sellers/stores would no doubt mark it as a "gift" or you could try offering somebody from the US an "incentive" to purchase it and post it out to you.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by VBitter on 04-22-2007 02:01 PM:

active x

I tried to instal a flash version of an on=line casino but got an error saying that either my browser has a setting blocking this or some other crap...........fuck it.heres the error message

This Flash casino requires the installation of a supporting ActiveX control (the FlashXControl Object) to operate properly.

Loading the control has failed for one of the following reasons:

* You chose not to accept installation of the control when prompted.
* Your browser security settings have been configured not to allow the installation or loading of ActiveX controls.
* Your local user permissions do not allow the installation or loading of ActiveX controls. You may need to be an Administrator or Power User on your local machine.
* Your browser does not support ActiveX controls.

The ActiveX control (FlashXControl object) is digitally signed and published by Microgaming Software Systems Limited, which means:

* It was developed by Microgaming Software Systems Limited.
* It is safe to install and use.
* It is unmodified - the control has not been altered, corrupted or tampered with since it was signed by Microgaming Software Systems Limited.

VeriSign, Inc. (www.verisign.com) has also signed the control, confirming the identity of Microgaming Software Systems Limited as a legitimate commercial software publisher.

If you chose not to install the control when prompted, click the link below to reload the casino - you will be prompted again to install the control. Otherwise you may have to enable ActiveX functionality for your browser, and then click the button below.

firefox is my browser

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 04-23-2007 01:25 AM:

Re: active x

quote:
Originally posted by VBitter
I tried to instal a flash version of an on=line casino but got an error saying that either my browser has a setting blocking this or some other crap...........fuck it.heres the error message

This Flash casino requires the installation of a supporting ActiveX control (the FlashXControl Object) to operate properly.

Loading the control has failed for one of the following reasons:

* You chose not to accept installation of the control when prompted.
* Your browser security settings have been configured not to allow the installation or loading of ActiveX controls.
* Your local user permissions do not allow the installation or loading of ActiveX controls. You may need to be an Administrator or Power User on your local machine.
* Your browser does not support ActiveX controls.

The ActiveX control (FlashXControl object) is digitally signed and published by Microgaming Software Systems Limited, which means:

* It was developed by Microgaming Software Systems Limited.
* It is safe to install and use.
* It is unmodified - the control has not been altered, corrupted or tampered with since it was signed by Microgaming Software Systems Limited.

VeriSign, Inc. (www.verisign.com) has also signed the control, confirming the identity of Microgaming Software Systems Limited as a legitimate commercial software publisher.

If you chose not to install the control when prompted, click the link below to reload the casino - you will be prompted again to install the control. Otherwise you may have to enable ActiveX functionality for your browser, and then click the button below.

firefox is my browser

Firefox doesn't support Activex, you can try and get around it and use the MediaWrap plugin but you may end up using either IE or a different poker site... Or maybe take up a new hobby, such as Tantric sex.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by 65dos on 04-23-2007 02:30 AM:

Dear Neversoft

A while back I borrowed some books from my universitys library and then plum forgot about them and they were left stashed away in a drawer.

Upon checking my university email account for the first time in months I was horrified to find this in the body of an email:

Outstanding charges/fines : £260.98

Any ideas about how I can get out of paying this back?

Posted by Neversoft on 04-23-2007 02:36 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by 65dos
Dear Neversoft

A while back I borrowed some books from my universitys library and then plum forgot about them and they were left stashed away in a drawer.

Upon checking my university email account for the first time in months I was horrified to find this in the body of an email:

Outstanding charges/fines : £260.98

Any ideas about how I can get out of paying this back?

Just hand them in and ignore the bill... In the unlikely event that they pursue it, claim you returned the books eons ago. Either that or return them as a "friend" of a now deceased student and fake your own death.

... Or you could walk into the Library brandishing an arsenal and obliterate every moving thing, finally blowing off your own head in a glorious fountain of blood and brains... FUCK YEAH!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Arthur Daily on 05-14-2007 01:11 AM:

Dear Neversoft
Please could you help me with THIS

i cant believe there isn't free ones out there.

PS, its this Thursday, i gotta move fast

__________________
*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

Posted by Neversoft on 05-14-2007 08:42 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Dear Neversoft
Please could you help me with THIS

i cant believe there isn't free ones out there.

PS, its this Thursday, i gotta move fast

Well, obvious cos I didn't know the guy I can't actually write the content but I can certainly point you in the right direction. I notice you said you couldn't find eulogies online but I reckon you didn't look hard enough...

... Go to Google and try "Writing eulogies" and in particular "Eulogy transcript" and you should get plenty of pointers.

Good luck, I wish I could be more helpful but writing a strangers eulogy seems a tad "wrong" to me

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by kimjongli on 05-19-2007 10:49 AM:

If you were to start a religious group do you think it would ultimately grow into a cult that ended with a mass suicide? If so do you think you posses the social skills and intelligence to assemble a group larger than Jim Jones 909 people that killed themselves back in 1978 or would you fall short of that mark?

Also... and I can't believe this has been overlooked till now, but why is the sky blue?

Posted by Neversoft on 05-21-2007 10:47 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by kimjongli
If you were to start a religious group do you think it would ultimately grow into a cult that ended with a mass suicide? If so do you think you posses the social skills and intelligence to assemble a group larger than Jim Jones 909 people that killed themselves back in 1978 or would you fall short of that mark?

Also... and I can't believe this has been overlooked till now, but why is the sky blue?

Hmmmm... Intersting!

If I were to setup a religion, I would probably base that religion around some hardcore drugs, therefore locking people into the religion and ultimately giving me an opportunity for mass "suicide" (lets call it murder for arguments sake though) by giving them all a bad batch of heroin

You second question is piss easy... Due to the composition of the atmosphere and the fact that different gases absorb and scatter light at different wavelengths. Lower frequencies such as red and green aren't scattered as much as blue light, therefore the sky looks blue

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by ZootedLooter on 05-23-2007 01:21 AM:

dear mr soft..

where have all the good times gone?

Posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b on 05-23-2007 06:07 PM:

Dear Sir Soft, i am looking to buy a payg silver SE w880i for my nieces birthday (saturday week) could you source me the best possible price and link to one (possibly round the £220 mark). The phone can either be locked on orange or sim-free.
I have checked oranges site and they only have the black one for 220.
PS. Has to be new , so shitbay it out of the question.

Thankyou and i will mail you some cum if you can source one for me.

Avenue_1

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 05-24-2007 02:48 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by ZootedLooter
dear mr soft..

where have all the good times gone?

To the young 'uns! Once you get past a certain age the only pleasures seem to come from 6 monthly prostate examinations

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 05-24-2007 03:00 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Dear Sir Soft, i am looking to buy a payg silver SE w880i for my nieces birthday (saturday week) could you source me the best possible price and link to one (possibly round the £220 mark). The phone can either be locked on orange or sim-free.
I have checked oranges site and they only have the black one for 220.
PS. Has to be new , so shitbay it out of the question.

Thankyou and i will mail you some cum if you can source one for me.

Avenue_1

You'll have to dig a little deeper into your pockets but the fuckers have them for £255... You shouldn't attempt to buy your nieces silence like that though, what you are doing is inappropriate and illegal and will probably turn her to lesbianism in the future. Try power-wanking instead, but NOT in front of your niece.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b on 05-24-2007 05:19 PM:

Good stuff NS, just bought it. Is it that obvious i'm buying her silence or have you been in the same situation...
Another question, what would it take to buy your silence?

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 05-25-2007 03:12 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Good stuff NS, just bought it. Is it that obvious i'm buying her silence or have you been in the same situation...
Another question, what would it take to buy your silence?

GOOD GOD NO!! One of my nieces is ginger and uglier than my painted arse and the other is a ginger goth! Frankly, I'd rather nonce that retarded kid that lives down the street - the drool is mighty sexy and they can't tell anybody whilst saying "nnnng nnnnng nnng" and biting their hands.

Now for your question... It depends on what you want me to be silent about but here's a rough price list:

Not telling your family that I fisted you whilst using Deep Heat/Ralgex as lube - £15
Not telling anybody that you like to be shat on by dogs - £8.53
Not informing the Police about the 3 year old you've recently abducted in Portugal - £Free, but leave me sloppy seconds.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by cobalt on 05-27-2007 02:16 AM:

Oh Mister Soft,

What should I be looking for in a new TV that I would be looking to keep for the next 3-5 years. Are there any up and comming extra's to future proof my purchase? Any certain 'features' I should be avoiding?

Cheers my dears

Posted by Neversoft on 05-31-2007 12:49 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cobalt
Oh Mister Soft,

What should I be looking for in a new TV that I would be looking to keep for the next 3-5 years. Are there any up and comming extra's to future proof my purchase? Any certain 'features' I should be avoiding?

Cheers my dears

I can only speak from personal experience I'm not a vapid technophile like pHo is (who will probably disagree with everything in this reply

), assuming you're going the Hi-def route I'd recommend looking at either:
Samsung (because of the features), especially the M86/87 which has three HDMI connectors, which is rare. I'm also a "fan" of the Panasonic Viera and Sony Bravia series of TV's due to the excellent picture quality but they're pricey. For a compromise between price/functionality/picture quality I have a gaping anus for LG TVs - I have both a LG HDTV and a Panasonic Viera and both are fantastic (yes, I have two Hi-def TV's, fuck you!).

Features? Well, connectors, connectors, connectors! You need at least two HDMI connectors but try and get more. At least one RGB scart (plus others), Component and DSub (VGA) is also a bonus.

With regards to features on the TV, avoid pointless bollocks. My LG has a picture-in-picture facility which is pointless IMHO. Most HDTV sets have various options for tidying-up standard definition pictures, in this regard I'm impressed by both Sony and LGs approaches.

In fairness though, I'd advise picking your budget and then getting your arse to one of those Curry's "Megastores" at a retail park and compare the various TVs - then go home and buy the twat for £200 less at Empire Direct

Because I'm no specialist on the subject and this response is my opinion as opposed to carefully researched fact I'd advise reading the CNet buyers guides for HDTV here: http://www.cnet.com/4520-7874_1-5102926-1.html

But my personal opinion is to focus on LG, Samsung and Panasonic and go from there - Hitachi and Sony offer little improvement but a whole load of assfuck on price

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by cobalt on 05-31-2007 05:10 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
I can only speak from personal experience I'm not a vapid technophile like pHo is (who will probably disagree with everything in this reply ), assuming you're going the Hi-def route I'd recommend looking at either:
Samsung (because of the features), especially the M86/87 which has three HDMI connectors, which is rare. I'm also a "fan" of the Panasonic Viera and Sony Bravia series of TV's due to the excellent picture quality but they're pricey. For a compromise between price/functionality/picture quality I have a gaping anus for LG TVs - I have both a LG HDTV and a Panasonic Viera and both are fantastic (yes, I have two Hi-def TV's, fuck you!).

Features? Well, connectors, connectors, connectors! You need at least two HDMI connectors but try and get more. At least one RGB scart (plus others), Component and DSub (VGA) is also a bonus.

With regards to features on the TV, avoid pointless bollocks. My LG has a picture-in-picture facility which is pointless IMHO. Most HDTV sets have various options for tidying-up standard definition pictures, in this regard I'm impressed by both Sony and LGs approaches.

In fairness though, I'd advise picking your budget and then getting your arse to one of those Curry's "Megastores" at a retail park and compare the various TVs - then go home and buy the twat for £200 less at Empire Direct

Because I'm no specialist on the subject and this response is my opinion as opposed to carefully researched fact I'd advise reading the CNet buyers guides for HDTV here: http://www.cnet.com/4520-7874_1-5102926-1.html

But my personal opinion is to focus on LG, Samsung and Panasonic and go from there - Hitachi and Sony offer little improvement but a whole load of assfuck on price

Never failing to deliver - thanks!

Posted by ZootedLooter on 06-02-2007 02:24 AM:

ok NS...impress me....

im archiving most of my music library and im stuck on this one...Dobie Gray "lean on me"...i cant find any reference to which LP it was originally released on...i searched Rate your music(awesome site for anyone needing original cover art)..wiki..yahoo music..even ebay...also..numerous google pages...im empty

Posted by LOLobo on 06-02-2007 04:56 AM:

"Lean on Me" or "Look at Me"?

Posted by ZootedLooter on 06-02-2007 12:16 PM:

no its deffinitly lean on me....i double checked anyway...he must have another song "look at me" too...lean is on pretty much on all of his greastest hit records

Posted by Munson on 06-03-2007 01:59 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by ZootedLooter
ok NS...impress me....

im archiving most of my music library and im stuck on this one...Dobie Gray "lean on me"...i cant find any reference to which LP it was originally released on...i searched Rate your music(awesome site for anyone needing original cover art)..wiki..yahoo music..even ebay...also..numerous google pages...im empty

Diamond Cuts/ (1997)

per

http://www.dobiegray.com/discography9.htm

Posted by ZootedLooter on 06-03-2007 02:15 PM:

wow......forget everything i wrote before...upon further research i find that bill withers sayng the original...

oooooops...thanx for looking though guys

Posted by Neversoft on 06-04-2007 02:51 PM:

Glad I could help?

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Iammyself on 06-05-2007 03:34 PM:

Why is everyone out to get me? including you admins on this board, you make me out to be paranoid, we all know tin foil is the only safe measure to protect you from being found... sheesh, weve known this for years!!

So why is everyone out to get me, and what can I do to make it stop! (besides the tin foil)

On a side note, why dont women wank me when i tell them to? it works in all the movies i watch...

Posted by fr33ke on 06-05-2007 10:59 PM:

Do you know tin foil hats actually amplify certain frequencies? It's a scam by multinational corporations and the government.

Posted by Neversoft on 06-07-2007 02:33 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Iammyself
Why is everyone out to get me? including you admins on this board, you make me out to be paranoid, we all know tin foil is the only safe measure to protect you from being found... sheesh, weve known this for years!!

So why is everyone out to get me, and what can I do to make it stop! (besides the tin foil)

On a side note, why dont women wank me when i tell them to? it works in all the movies i watch...

In order:

1. Fr33ke is right, Tin foil hats wont help. I believe these hats are particularly good at preventing alien abductions (not one person wearing one has ever been abducted by aliens!) so they should be capable of stopping the Illuminati and L.Ron Hubbard's ghost from stealing your brainwaves.

2. We're out to get you because we're part of the conspiracy... Especially Dwaggy "Xenu" McFister.

3. You're either delusional or only ever watch porn movies. Women wont wank you for numerous reasons...

a) You're telling them instead of paying them.
b) Your cock smells of rotting flesh, wash it.
c) They think you look stupid in that tin foil hat.

My advice is to abduct and sexually assault somebody, it's your only chance.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Munson on 06-11-2007 04:29 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Iammyself
Why is everyone out to get me? including you admins on this board, you make me out to be paranoid, we all know tin foil is the only safe measure to protect you from being found... sheesh, weve known this for years!!

So why is everyone out to get me, and what can I do to make it stop! (besides the tin foil)

On a side note, why dont women wank me when i tell them to? it works in all the movies i watch...

i hate to be the one to tell you this but research data would indicate that as a baby your mother tried to hold you under water. She was completely stable, and of sound mind in her reasoning as there are some babies who are meant to be held under water.

her goal and revelation was foiled by the fact that you have gills like kevin costner in water world.

and based on that you should shoot yourself really hard in the face before dennis hopper takes over your body and soul

Posted by Iammyself on 06-11-2007 05:10 PM:

thank you all for your truthful answers its not everyday you can find such help, is there a cure other than shooting myself really hard or sexual assault? I mean I have to live to fight the illuminists, and prison sounds drastic...

Posted by darlowad v2.0b on 06-11-2007 11:06 PM:

dear neversoft

why do some people NEVER SHUT THE FUK UP ABOUT ILLUMINATI!!!!!!!

__________________
ezekiel 25.17 "the path of the righteous man"

Posted by Iammyself on 06-12-2007 01:07 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by darlowad
dear neversoft

why do some people NEVER SHUT THE FUK UP ABOUT ILLUMINATI!!!!!!!

Sir, you are a dolt and have less of an idea of the lines of reality and sarcasm, i think many have figured this out, leaving you in the dark

Jesus, this is the internet y'know

There is a tad bit of me in posts, but keep believing it all

::shit edit::
Neversoft,

Why can't some people tell when people are purposefully being extreme and/or overly assertive in their beliefs, even when they seemingly make it ridiculously clear its somewhat joking?

Posted by Neversoft on 06-12-2007 02:30 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Iammyself
Why can't some people tell when people are purposefully being extreme and/or overly assertive in their beliefs, even when they seemingly make it ridiculously clear its somewhat joking?

Because you've sounded like a nutter in the past and meant it... but yes, I can tell when you're being ridiculous but you need to take into consideration that many of our forum members have a similar IQ to your own - don't anticipate too much deductive reasoning.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 06-12-2007 02:44 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Iammyself
Why can't some people tell when people are purposefully being extreme and/or overly assertive in their beliefs, even when they seemingly make it ridiculously clear its somewhat joking?

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Iammyself on 06-12-2007 05:05 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Because you've sounded like a nutter in the past and meant it... but yes, I can tell when you're being ridiculous but you need to take into consideration that many of our forum members have a similar IQ to your own - don't anticipate too much deductive reasoning.

I find it hard to believe that many members have an IQ in the 120's, but what the fuck do I know?

Posted by Neversoft on 06-12-2007 05:22 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Iammyself
I find it hard to believe that many members have an IQ in the 120's, but what the fuck do I know?

I'll treat that as a question (considering the thread that its posted in)...

... IQ's measure fuck all except your ability to mentally spin shapes and spot patterns, hardly life-enabling skills but if this is how you measure "smarts" - I'm smarter than you

As for the forum; we have some intelligent members on here, they just hide it very well

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by darlowad v2.0b on 06-12-2007 09:11 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
they just hide it very well

i can also hide my dick between my legs and pose as a female if the pic is taken from the right angle!!

__________________
ezekiel 25.17 "the path of the righteous man"

Posted by doctor zoidy on 06-14-2007 01:10 AM:

Though it violates rule one of hiding, or rather, of not being seen, i must now stand up and ask neversoft a question. A SERIOUS question, no backhanded sexual metaphors included.

The Question was already asked in the appropriate forum, though I felt by pointing it out to you it may be answered with even more quickness than you usually muster.

To sum up the question, I'm looking for disk imaging software to do exactly what I need. Most software will do near what I need, but unfortunately near enough is not good enough in this case.

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Thats alot of words for someone that sells DVDs out of the back of a truck

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Read zoidys comment for clarification.

Posted by Neversoft on 06-14-2007 03:03 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by doctor zoidy
Though it violates rule one of hiding, or rather, of not being seen, i must now stand up and ask neversoft a question. A SERIOUS question, no backhanded sexual metaphors included.

The Question was already asked in the appropriate forum, though I felt by pointing it out to you it may be answered with even more quickness than you usually muster.

To sum up the question, I'm looking for disk imaging software to do exactly what I need. Most software will do near what I need, but unfortunately near enough is not good enough in this case.

Sorted

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by cobalt on 06-16-2007 08:19 PM:

Coming from a background of PHP and SQL, should I bother to learn VB or .Net?

I'm oddly drawn the point and click wysiwyg of it all, but will it be worth my time?

Also on a completely different tangent, can you please suggest exercises to increase core stomach muscle strength. I'm quite a tall guy, and when I'm older I'm sure to suffer from a bad back. I need to increase strength in my whole torso area, but stomach exercises are problematic.

All the normal crunches and variants don’t do much for me. My stomach muscles never get any kind of a work out due to my back giving out after a few reps. Any stomach exercises around that do not put stress on the back muscles?

Dammit, while I'm here... Of all gym machines, free weights, gadgets and gimmicks, which are more likely to help my increase muscle mass on my soon to be embarked on (working from home i.e. no gym membership) health kick?

Cheers!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Neversoft on 06-17-2007 01:41 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by cobalt
Coming from a background of PHP and SQL, should I bother to learn VB or .Net?

I'm oddly drawn the point and click wysiwyg of it all, but will it be worth my time?

Also on a completely different tangent, can you please suggest exercises to increase core stomach muscle strength. I'm quite a tall guy, and when I'm older I'm sure to suffer from a bad back. I need to increase strength in my whole torso area, but stomach exercises are problematic.

All the normal crunches and variants don’t do much for me. My stomach muscles never get any kind of a work out due to my back giving out after a few reps. Any stomach exercises around that do not put stress on the back muscles?

Dammit, while I'm here... Of all gym machines, free weights, gadgets and gimmicks, which are more likely to help my increase muscle mass on my soon to be embarked on (working from home i.e. no gym membership) health kick?

Cheers!!!!!!!!!!

I haven't done any programming since the "Good ol' days" of 68000 and the Amiga so I'm not in that good of a position to advise you but I know my GF is currently learning .Net and seems to like it. She's certainly been impressed by its capabilities.

As for working out, why not go to a walk-in gym and see what works for you... Then replicate it at home. You'll save money on buying multi-gyms that don't work for you or stupid "As seen on TV" workout dogshit that promises a body as sexy as mine in 3 weeks.

N.B. Power-wanking on an hourly basis can considerably increase the muscle mass of your preferred arm, especially between the thumb and index finger.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by stickywicket on 06-26-2007 10:02 PM:

Dear Mr Soft,

My gf has a new laptop and she's not stopped whining about the mouse 'automatically clicking' on buttons, links etc when she hovers over them for a second or two.

Is there any way at all i can shut the daft cow up?

Preferably some way of disabling said feature - failing that a truly ingenious murder plan would do.

Cheers.

Sorry, forgot to mention it's a Philips X59 running Vista and erm...its silver?

Posted by Iammyself on 06-27-2007 04:04 AM:

umm... did you die in the floods?

and wtf happened to my "paranoid" avatar...

nothing important though

Posted by LOLobo on 06-27-2007 04:49 AM:

Neversoft's new avatar is greater than Taco Bell's empanadas.

Posted by Pickles on 06-27-2007 04:58 AM:

Dear Neversoft,

Is it ok to wank to these new avatars that I find so erotic? Also, can I have Dwaggy's love child? Will this ever be possible?

Well, some of them anyway. Good God Almighty, I haven't laughed so hard in forever.

I came home, opened VCDq, and viola, instant entertainment.

When I saw Iammyself's, the chick is taking the shit, avatar I literally blew water out my nose.

Although, some of them are quite disturbing. Mr_Grinch, Shn, vanzan, and one or two others.

Posted by ZootedLooter on 07-08-2007 09:23 PM:

hey softy....whered you go?????..are you coming back???...if you died can i have that mayo jar full of buds??

Posted by Neversoft on 07-12-2007 01:09 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by stickywicket
Dear Mr Soft,

My gf has a new laptop and she's not stopped whining about the mouse 'automatically clicking' on buttons, links etc when she hovers over them for a second or two.

Is there any way at all i can shut the daft cow up?

Preferably some way of disabling said feature - failing that a truly ingenious murder plan would do.

Cheers.

Sorry, forgot to mention it's a Philips X59 running Vista and erm...its silver?

I don't have Windows Fista but I suspect her Laptop has one of those Synaptics "touchpad" doohickeys on it. On XP you can dive into the control panel, open the mouse settings, switch to the tab for the touchpad and funk about with its sensitivity and the "press-click" bullshit (it is annoying)... The option hopefully hasn't strayed too far in Fista.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 07-12-2007 01:11 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Iammyself
umm... did you die in the floods?

and wtf happened to my "paranoid" avatar...

nothing important though

I went on holiday to the Canary Islands (HURRR!) and enjoyed watching my hometown float away on a very grainy feed of Sky News that I was paying 1 euro per hour to watch (cunts)... I'm back now and thankfully my house is on a hill and therefore ok but the village is still littered with sandbags as people await the next deluge - it looks like a level from Call of Duty

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 07-12-2007 01:16 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by ZootedLooter
hey softy....whered you go?????..are you coming back???...if you died can i have that mayo jar full of buds??

See my previous answer for to your first question. As for the second... I have AK47 at the moment (Google it, you'll hate me

) it would be unethical and unfair of me to allow somebody with your psychological issues to smoke this shit.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by ZootedLooter on 07-13-2007 02:38 AM:

thats right....you are the epitome of ethics

and as far as the ak 47 goes...i live on flatbush ave(google it)...i ve seen a few

Posted by roidesoleil on 07-17-2007 09:28 AM:

@Neversoft....
what exactly are all scene rules?

Posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b on 07-17-2007 05:52 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by ZootedLooter

and as far as the ak 47 goes...i live on flatbush ave(google it)...i ve seen a few

I'm guessing you didnt realise ak47 is a strain of weed

__________________

Posted by LOLobo on 07-17-2007 09:15 PM:

hahahah zooter is not the ultimate pot head.

Posted by ZootedLooter on 07-17-2007 10:26 PM:

im not an expert...just a pothead....with all the new strains that pop up...i could care less what they call em now...i just look..smell..smoke...woohoo...

.....besides im a pothead...even if i did pay attention.. im a burnout..id never remember anyways

Posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b on 07-17-2007 11:12 PM:

Its an old and extremely potent and very popular strain, very surprised you havent heard of it!

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 07-19-2007 02:42 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by roidesoleil
@Neversoft....
what exactly are all scene rules?

These

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 07-19-2007 02:45 AM:

Wangawangazoooooooo!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by roidesoleil on 07-19-2007 02:24 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
These

thx 4 th answer...finally i can start releasing

by the standards

Posted by Arthur Daily on 07-24-2007 06:01 PM:

Dear Uncle Neversoft,

I'm going round in Google circles looking for
a firmware for a Motorola firmware for the V3i

can you help?

__________________
*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

Posted by Neversoft on 07-25-2007 01:27 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Dear Uncle Neversoft,

I'm going round in Google circles looking for
a firmware for a Motorola firmware for the V3i

can you help?

Shove these up your shitter...

http://www.planetmotox.net/razr_v3i.php (free!)
http://www.motorolaunlock.com/debrand.htm (not free but has descriptions of what the fucker does)

Don't brick the cunt, I'd recommend paying for those packs as they're definately for UK phones, dunno about the other (or if it even matters) although it does say "stock/unlocked" which is a good sign)

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Arthur Daily on 07-31-2007 08:33 PM:

Dearest NS

Heres one for ya...

I got this webcam.

but also found this pic

by entering the info from the stickers on the back i got that info from google

PC CAMERA S865, s/n: KMCAM010175

yep, im just looking for the XP Drivers
but im going round n round Google Dizzy

HELP!!!!

__________________
*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

Posted by Vampire on 07-31-2007 09:38 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Dearest NS

Heres one for ya...

I got this webcam.

yep, im just looking for the XP Drivers
but im going round n round Google Dizzy

HELP!!!!

Me toooo.. mine doesn't have the ANC logo or anything on it but the design is identical.

__________________
Rectum? Damn near killed him!

Posted by Neversoft on 08-02-2007 08:15 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Dearest NS

Heres one for ya...

I got this webcam.

but also found this pic

by entering the info from the stickers on the back i got that info from google

PC CAMERA S865, s/n: KMCAM010175

yep, im just looking for the XP Drivers
but im going round n round Google Dizzy

HELP!!!!

Yep, I've found the fucker (I think). I've wrapped-up two possible drivers but I suspect it's the 305 driver that you need...

http://www.load.to/?d=Zb5BeZOd2W

See, I even hosted them on a different site so you don't have to learn fucking Chinese, CUNTS!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Arthur Daily on 08-02-2007 11:15 PM:

Apart from the JOY of that download click causing a pop-up
of 100s of TITS & ASS.
JUST as the Mrs came in the room, AND the fact that i was just
at that moment taking a lovely moment to scratch my nuts...

It didn't work

I mean Ive heard of these things with a big sticker
DO NOT PLUG THIS USB DEVICE IN BEFORE INSTALLING THE DRIVERS.

(why ? and how to fix it if i did ?)

Ive been trying drivers all week, so Ive HAD to plug it in, then find out its not the correct drivers.

I mean this COULD be the correct drivers but could it all be confused because
Ive already plugged it in before the correct drivers are installed?

EDIT: i guess there are a few resellers stamping their logo on this.
if it helps in our quest, my one has JCT stamped on the front (like the ones in the pic)

__________________
*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

Posted by Neversoft on 08-03-2007 10:18 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Apart from the JOY of that download click causing a pop-up
of 100s of TITS & ASS.
JUST as the Mrs came in the room, AND the fact that i was just
at that moment taking a lovely moment to scratch my nuts...

It didn't work

I mean Ive heard of these things with a big sticker
DO NOT PLUG THIS USB DEVICE IN BEFORE INSTALLING THE DRIVERS.

(why ? and how to fix it if i did ?)

Ive been trying drivers all week, so Ive HAD to plug it in, then find out its not the correct drivers.

I mean this COULD be the correct drivers but could it all be confused because
Ive already plugged it in before the correct drivers are installed?

EDIT: i guess there are a few resellers stamping their logo on this.
if it helps in our quest, my one has JCT stamped on the front (like the ones in the pic)

It makes no difference what order you install the hardware/drivers normally, it just makes things easier for the install wizard.

- Install the driver
- Go into Device Manager
- Locate the "fucked" device(s) and remove them
- Reboot

It should pickup the correct driver then.

Those cameras are manufactured by Shenzhen Customs Electronic Industries Ltd but they sell via ANC - the problem is, the English ANC website is fucked and the Chinese one only has a handful of drivers. Then again, I *think* I have posted the correct one above.

Enjoy your porno popups

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Arthur Daily on 08-05-2007 03:00 AM:

thanks for your help, i think it would be easyer for me to get a new cam LOL

Heres a tricky one for ya..

Is there a way to Unlock the Service Provider & SimLock for my w850i for free?

SimLock is not the PIN lock shit, its a new thing ive not come across before
where the phone is locked to a sim.

PS, De-branded the phone, but that didnt remove said locks

__________________
*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

Posted by Neversoft on 08-06-2007 03:21 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
Is there a way to Unlock the Service Provider & SimLock for my w850i for free?

Probably but not in a way that I'm aware of but any information regarding it is tucked away on closed forum... And I'm concerned about the legality of me posting that info if I had it anyway.

Sorry

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Arthur Daily on 08-06-2007 08:13 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Probably but not in a way that I'm aware of but any information regarding it is tucked away on closed forum... And I'm concerned about the legality of me posting that info if I had it anyway.

Sorry

Unlocking the Service provider and simLock in the UK is perfectly legal.
Only thing bad would be changing the IMEI which as you know is a big no no.

My IMEI is fine, is just them other two locks I'm stuck on.

The new SimLock is just a new type of SP (service provider) hoops they added for the unlockers to jump threw.
SimLock like the SP lock but if (in my case) its locked to Orange, SimLock wont allow another sim to be used.

If the SimLock was removed but the SP lock was still intact.
Any sim would work & allow the phone to function but not make or receive calls other than from the original network.

Ive managed to De-brand the fucker, and place Thai & English Lang's
but now dayz the SP and SL are separate.

There are a few places (Not all) online that charge for this Unlocking
but i know they just use a number generator or something like it
using the IMEI it provides a unlock code or i suspect in my case a file to upload to the phone.

Any help would be Wicked,
i know your Google skills are vast, but ive tried
and its like googling 'Tits n ass' theres fecking 1000s of nonsense hits

__________________
*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

Posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b on 08-06-2007 09:08 PM:

ok, got a fun test for ya NS

NO HELP FROM ANYONE ELSE!!!

tell me what my sig says.

clue: camera phone software

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 08-07-2007 09:02 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
ok, got a fun test for ya NS

NO HELP FROM ANYONE ELSE!!!

tell me what my sig says.

clue: camera phone software

I don't have a Semacode reader installed on my phone and there isn't a working one for Windows, so no!

I would install it on my phone but I can't be arsed... So I can't tell you what it says but I do know what it is

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b on 08-07-2007 10:28 PM:

stick this url in your phone for the reader http://reader.kaywa.com and go here to generate codes http://qrcode.kaywa.com/

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 08-07-2007 11:45 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
I would install it on my phone but I can't be arsed.

I'd already found the program but don't feel the need to install random shite on my phone to answer a question that you already have the answer to

Do you want to share it with the rest of the class?

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by norpster on 08-08-2007 01:56 AM:

the first one reads neversoft sucks a mean cock and the second one says avenue_1 shagged your ma

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 08-08-2007 01:26 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by norpster
the first one reads neversoft sucks a mean cock and the second one says avenue_1 shagged your ma

Well, at least they're accurate!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by sex? on 08-08-2007 04:03 PM:

whats going on in athurs sig

__________________
niall4eg version 3.0

Posted by Vampire on 08-08-2007 04:16 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by sex?
whats going on in athurs sig

don't know but he needs to remove it - 17 fookin' meg?!

::edit:: ...cheers Arthur (unless an admin removed it).

__________________
Rectum? Damn near killed him!

Posted by David Cameron on 08-10-2007 06:58 AM:

Dear Neversoft

Why are you such an insufferable faggot?

Posted by Neversoft on 08-10-2007 01:31 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cupidstunt
Dear Neversoft

Why are you such an insufferable faggot?

Well, most people seem to suffer me fairly well but I guess a lot of it stems from me being:

A) being funnier than all of you
B) Being more intelligent than all of you
C) Being better looking than all of you
D) Being more modest than all of you

So basically, you find me insufferable because I'm better than you and you hope I'm a faggot because you want to cum in me.

I don't blame you though, it's only natural.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Mr_Grinch on 08-10-2007 10:48 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

Why do I vanish from these forums for long periods of time, yet still feel the urge to return every now and then, even though I find the majority of the members here to be child like and purile?

Also, second question, I'm moving house tomorrow, what should I do if I don't like the neighbours?

And final question, I've installed Ubuntu on my laptop, it's running fine but occasionally firefox will crash, normally whilst clicking "back". Have you any ideas why it's doing this?

Thank you,

Mr Grinch

__________________
<Mr_Grinch> yes. I have aids. Which I got from bumming men.

Posted by Neversoft on 08-11-2007 10:30 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Mr_Grinch
Dear Neversoft,

Why do I vanish from these forums for long periods of time, yet still feel the urge to return every now and then, even though I find the majority of the members here to be child like and purile?

Also, second question, I'm moving house tomorrow, what should I do if I don't like the neighbours?

And final question, I've installed Ubuntu on my laptop, it's running fine but occasionally firefox will crash, normally whilst clicking "back". Have you any ideas why it's doing this?

Thank you,

Mr Grinch

1. Because most people despite what they claim, like a pointless and purile conversation sometimes. Plus, some of us are funny! I do think VCDQ has some addictive qualitites though, I've been coming here for over 5 years!

2. Be an ignorant cunt so they wont ever speak and/or complain. Possibly act a little spaced out like you've smacked off your face and generally be a complete dick... You shouldn't find that too much of a stretch you ignorant junkie woman-beater!

3. I know fuck all about Ucuntu (see what I did there?) but I'd suggest backing up and recreating your Firefox profile then reload your extensions one at a time - unless one of those extentions is called "Crash the back button" in that case, try removing that.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by sex? on 08-15-2007 02:44 PM:

why is there two of the same post in the forum. and also, if you had to choose, would you pick daddy or chips

__________________
niall4eg version 3.0

Posted by Neversoft on 08-19-2007 08:38 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by sex?
why is there two of the same post in the forum. and also, if you had to choose, would you pick daddy or chips

1. What?
2. Chips (Daddy is pushing up daisy's and has been for many years)

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by cobalt on 08-24-2007 12:22 AM:

A tricky one, which my quick Google failed to find - What is the music used in the new Hiscox insurance advert called?

Posted by Neversoft on 08-24-2007 04:16 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by cobalt
A tricky one, which my quick Google failed to find - What is the music used in the new Hiscox insurance advert called?

If you mean the "Something beautiful" advert then no... Lots of people are asking though, keep an eye on this page because somebody is bound to answer soon enough

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by socks on 08-28-2007 05:58 PM:

Matching CPU/Memory/Motherboard

Ok NS, (simple terms please).

Upgrading some hardware to something along the lines of Intel Core2 Duo. Now the chip runs at 1333Mhz FSB, and the motherboard accepts this speed too. What memory do I get..

As I understand it the FSB/2 = recommended memory speed to match the CPU/board. In this case it would be 666.7 (=667Mhz) thus DDR2 667 (PC5300/5400) would be correct.

Since the highest rated FSB for the intel chips is 1333Mhz why on earth are we seeing memory speeds at around DDR2 1100 (PC8800) and in DDR3 at 1866Mhz (Patriot 2GB PC3-10666) - whats the point. Ok, i understand overclocking but is everything beyond 667 essentially for those who want to overclock fullstop?

Seems crazy that someone will try and clock the cpu/board FSB to run at 3732Mhz to handle the 1866Mhz memory.

Hardware is boring these days.

Posted by Neversoft on 08-29-2007 10:27 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
If you mean the "Something beautiful" advert then no... Lots of people are asking though, keep an eye on this page because somebody is bound to answer soon enough

IF you mean the "storm" (something beautiful) advert then the track is "The Swarm" by Rebelski... http://www.rebelski.com/

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 08-29-2007 10:37 AM:

Re: Matching CPU/Memory/Motherboard

quote:
Originally posted by socks
Ok NS, (simple terms please).

Upgrading some hardware to something along the lines of Intel Core2 Duo. Now the chip runs at 1333Mhz FSB, and the motherboard accepts this speed too. What memory do I get..

As I understand it the FSB/2 = recommended memory speed to match the CPU/board. In this case it would be 666.7 (=667Mhz) thus DDR2 667 (PC5300/5400) would be correct.

Since the highest rated FSB for the intel chips is 1333Mhz why on earth are we seeing memory speeds at around DDR2 1100 (PC8800) and in DDR3 at 1866Mhz (Patriot 2GB PC3-10666) - whats the point. Ok, i understand overclocking but is everything beyond 667 essentially for those who want to overclock fullstop?

Seems crazy that someone will try and clock the cpu/board FSB to run at 3732Mhz to handle the 1866Mhz memory.

Hardware is boring these days.

In short, it's not the MEMORY that is doubled in speed but the bus... For reasons far too complicated for me to understand this allows twice the amounts of data to be written to the memory itself whilst not having to increase the clock speed of the memory. There's a lengthy article on it on the "web oracle" and bullshit database - Wikipedia.

It not only goes into the technical details of what you're asking but also coveres the type of ram you need

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DDR2

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by roidesoleil on 09-02-2007 12:41 PM:

why are people, rating decent releases with 2/2/2 or similar, not being banned? obviously they follow only destructive motives.
and when is flaming supposed to lead to a ban if jokes about race or sexual tendencies are a welcomed enlightment to most members. just wondering why the rule exists....backdoorfunction?

Posted by Dwaggy on 09-02-2007 01:33 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by roidesoleil
why are people, rating decent releases with 2/2/2 or similar, not being banned? obviously they follow only destructive motives.
and when is flaming supposed to lead to a ban if jokes about race or sexual tendencies are a welcomed enlightment to most members. just wondering why the rule exists....backdoorfunction?

There's a difference between irony and actual racism

__________________

i have sigs off

Posted by roidesoleil on 09-02-2007 03:46 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
There's a difference between irony and actual racism

Really, tell me more obi wan! There also is a difference between irony and sarcasm, you should check it out!
i am just saying some comments are far beyond good taste. don't get me wrong, i love the mundane character of this forum....just...where is the limit?

Posted by David Cameron on 09-02-2007 03:58 PM:

If you don't know the difference between irony and racism, you must be a nigger.

Posted by roidesoleil on 09-02-2007 04:06 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cupidstunt
If you don't know the difference between irony and racism, you must be a nigger.

could i have expected anything else? great minds surrounding me

Posted by Dwaggy on 09-02-2007 09:15 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cupidstunt
If you don't know the difference between irony and racism, you must be a nigger.

lol

__________________

i have sigs off

Posted by cobalt on 09-03-2007 07:30 PM:

NS,

Who's the dude in the suit?

Posted by Neversoft on 09-04-2007 10:13 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by roidesoleil
Really, tell me more obi wan! There also is a difference between irony and sarcasm, you should check it out!
i am just saying some comments are far beyond good taste. don't get me wrong, i love the mundane character of this forum....just...where is the limit?

What's offensive to one person won't be offensive to another (obviously). Personally I draw the line at anything that isn't intended to be ironic or tongue-in-cheek... Like Cupidstunt's comment - it's obviously not a racist slur even if it would be under different circumstances. But yeah, context makes a big difference and each mod on here has their own opinion of what's ok and what isn't, although we're all pretty much on the same page.

The limit? Anything illegal, anything "grim" in the forum (NSZ is excluded) that isn't tagged with a warning and anything racist that's said with malice...

... Personally though, it doesn't do it for me, I prefer jokes about rape and cripples.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 09-04-2007 10:16 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by cobalt
NS,

Who's the dude in the suit?

Do you mean my avatar (cos I can't see anything else on that page) - it's from the BBC's "Life on Mars" cop show... In one scene then main character (Sam Tyler) finds himself in a 1970s kids TV show called Camberwick Green. Having watched the same show as a kid, I liked it

If you haven't seen it, you HAVE to see Life on Mars before it's "remade" for US TV and completely fucked up

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by cobalt on 09-04-2007 07:01 PM:

It is a good show, but I actually meant in the Gorilla suit in the new cadburys ad ...

http://forum.vcdq.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=78227

Posted by DeadOrAlive on 09-06-2007 10:26 AM:

Why is VCDQuality's custom of users having people avatars ? And I think there is a story behind the 10 posts moderating , enlighten me oh neversoft.

Posted by Neversoft on 09-06-2007 04:38 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by DeadOrAlive
Why is VCDQuality's custom of users having people avatars ? And I think there is a story behind the 10 posts moderating , enlighten me oh neversoft.

Well, periodically Dwaggy will do a "Post in here and I'll abuse your avatar" thread... Generally speaking, he picks a theme and runs with it. Most recently it was porno movies but it was a college yearbook prior to that I think. He's also drawn them previously.

- basically, for an Icelander, he isn't a cunt.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Tak'sBack on 09-09-2007 12:24 PM:

Dear Mr. Neversoft,

How the fuck can Nintendo make Mario Kart DS using only 32 MB (24.3 MB) when trimmed?

I know it's only a little screen but i find it bloody amazing.

Also do you find yourself sticking too many games on your micro SD card then wondering what one to play?

Posted by Neversoft on 09-09-2007 02:06 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Tak'sBack
Dear Mr. Neversoft,

How the fuck can Nintendo make Mario Kart DS using only 32 MB (24.3 MB) when trimmed?

I know it's only a little screen but i find it bloody amazing.

Also do you find yourself sticking too many games on your micro SD card then wondering what one to play?

Well, it doesn't have shitloads of hi-res textures or stunning audio, just a few sprites, audio that is "generated" by the DS instead of streaming it and a few maps... Modern games are the size they are due to the textures, fmv and the soundtrack - not a concern for DS games. Think of the DS as the bastard love child of the SNES and N64, then take a look at the size of their roms

Also, bare in mind that a .nds file is just a wrapper for the files inside, these can be compressed just like any others. Want to see the contents of a .nds file? Grab DSLazy and knock yourself out - maybe even do a few "custom" games for yourself

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by roidesoleil on 09-10-2007 04:36 PM:

vcdq foundation

since when does vcdqality exist? 2001?

Posted by Neversoft on 09-10-2007 05:39 PM:

Re: vcdq foundation

quote:
Originally posted by roidesoleil
since when does vcdqality exist? 2001?

Yep, although I didn't join until May 2002 (IIRC)... and it still looks the same now as it did then, although (as I'm sure you noticed) the forum's are a little more, erm, repugnant nowadays

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Mother on 09-18-2007 09:20 AM:

Dear Neversoft,

Where (in the UK) can I buy a replacement GPU fan to fit this card:
http://www.ixbt.com/video2/images/c...-scan-front.jpg

Posted by Neversoft on 09-18-2007 09:54 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Mother
Dear Neversoft,

Where (in the UK) can I buy a replacement GPU fan to fit this card:
http://www.ixbt.com/video2/images/c...-scan-front.jpg

I don't know, I can't see the pic

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Mother on 09-18-2007 10:14 AM:

Pic attached.

Posted by Neversoft on 09-18-2007 10:28 AM:

Well, I'mm 99% sure that Maplin or Farnell could supply a replacement but you'd have to find one with the correct specs yourself - look in the manual, hopefully it will tell you something about the fan (or Google). But basically, if you can work out the dimensions, power consumption and power supply you should be able to stick any decent fan on (it's a fairly standard connector on the twat). Either that or look at one of the overclocking sites for one of those custom swanky replacements for GPU fans that are available.

If you tell me which card it is, I might do a little better... If you don't know, run Belarc Advisor and tell me what IT thinks you have

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Mother on 09-18-2007 10:51 AM:

It's a Connect3D Radeon 9000 64MB AGP. The existing fan has recently started making a grinding noise when the PC is powered up. I've read that some 9000s are OK with passive cooling only, but didn't want to risk simply removing the fan.

I know it's a shit card for gaming, but it's from my son's PC and he doesn't need anything fancy.

Then again, he loves Lego Star Wars II so I'd consider getting him a new £20 card if that's going to be easier than trying to find a new fan. So, which is faster, a Radeon 9250 or a GeForce FX5200? (I could look it up myself but that kinda defeats the purpose of this thread...)

Posted by Neversoft on 09-18-2007 01:05 PM:

Well, the fan would probably set you back a tenner anyway so I'd grab one of the cards you mention. Although, the ATI card is faster, it only supports >directX 8 whereas the Nvidia is marginally slower but supports DX9.

Look on eBuyer.co.uk cos they're seriously cheap on GFX cards, you should be able to pick something fairly spunky up for £30.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Mother on 09-18-2007 01:36 PM:

I could possibly get one of these for £3 which looks like it's the right size to fit; I'd have to connect it up to the system fan header on the motherboard but I don't think that's a problem.

And ebuyer are a bunch of retards. What do you expect from a company based in Rotherham?

Posted by Neversoft on 09-18-2007 07:25 PM:

Coming from sunny Barnsley I can testify to the fact that Rotherham is the "greyest" town I've ever seen... Although it doesn't have as many scummy weirdos as Castleford or Wakefield

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Mother on 09-24-2007 01:33 PM:

I popped in my local PC World and picked up one of those 4cm fans. Although it was the right size to fit over the heatsink, it was thicker than the original fan so the existing screws weren't long enough. So I ended up just supergluing the new fan on. Seems to have stuck OK, and the grinding sound has stopped.

Posted by ZootedLooter on 09-25-2007 10:14 PM:

Click Here to Download NEW Movies!!
Click Here to Download NEW Movies!!
Click Here to Download NEW Movies!!
Click Here to Download NEW Movies!!
Click Here to Download NEW Movies!!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^
where does this link on the main page take us....im scared to find out....

properties shows http://gedads2.tl1consult.hop.clickbank.net/ but im not clickin it

and yeah....is 65 d the only one who takes it in the pail here?

Posted by Neversoft on 09-26-2007 04:18 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by ZootedLooter
Click Here to Download NEW Movies!!
Click Here to Download NEW Movies!!
Click Here to Download NEW Movies!!
Click Here to Download NEW Movies!!
Click Here to Download NEW Movies!!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^
where does this link on the main page take us....im scared to find out....

properties shows http://gedads2.tl1consult.hop.clickbank.net/ but im not clickin it

and yeah....is 65 d the only one who takes it in the pail here?

1. It takes you to a wonderful movie utopia where you pay money to get free stuff and crime syndicates rejoice.

2. No, but few people are brave enough to out themselves on here and it's hardly relevent to this forum (and considering how much gay porn gets posted on here, they probably do a lot of wanking on this site too

)

I personally use my shitter like an extra pocket, I have £1.28 in loose change and a return train ticket in there right now.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by motaba on 10-04-2007 03:41 AM:

dear neversoft,
what the fuck is the difference between the intel x3220 and q6600 quad core processors ??

theres only peoples opinions out there on the forums and intel give the usual text book bullshit but doesnt compare them.

also if i got a boner when watching the movie "zoo" (based on the life of your late father) should i act upon these urges or hide them away in a criminal shame.

thankyou in advanced
motaba (the guy that wants to suck cock but cant get around those bible rules)

Posted by Neversoft on 10-04-2007 12:33 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by motaba
dear neversoft,
what the fuck is the difference between the intel x3220 and q6600 quad core processors ??

theres only peoples opinions out there on the forums and intel give the usual text book bullshit but doesnt compare them.

also if i got a boner when watching the movie "zoo" (based on the life of your late father) should i act upon these urges or hide them away in a criminal shame.

thankyou in advanced
motaba (the guy that wants to suck cock but cant get around those bible rules)

They're essentially the same specs but the X3220 should require marginally less voltage and run cooler, which makes it better for overclocking n stuff... There's not much online but this forum post is a decent springboard to further info but basically, considering the price difference, get the X3220: http://www.bleedinedge.com/forum/showthread.php?t=32915

As for masturbation to animal porn... There's no victim and God isn't about to smite you (nor will he smite you for sucking cock). Look, if you believe the various religeous texts, the dude/ette is capable of farting universes - I doubt your animal fwapping and cock sucking fit into the "big scheme" of the universe and probably wont derail the Almighty's plans... It would however, undermine all of that made-up self-serving religious doctrine that's been created by narrow-minded, prudish bullshitters who have tried to control everybody for the last two thousand years - personally, I think Jesus would be horrified to see what is done in his name.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by motaba on 10-07-2007 04:08 AM:

cheers,
the x3220 it is then.

Posted by cobalt on 10-12-2007 12:56 AM:

Hey Hey NS!

I need some new TFT's. Two to be precise. I have a feeling that I want some widescreens, possibly 19". Widescreen for no other reason but "Bigger the Better".

But if I get two widscreens do I get much benefit? Having a single widescreen kind of makes sense, but having two normal screens next to each other seems to give a 'widescreen feel' to it anyway.

Do two widescreens sitting next to each other look right, and does the increase in width make up for the decrease in height?

On a more practical note
1. Where, in the UK can I get the best deal on TFT's
2. Why am I finding widescreen versions of monitors cheaper that normal versions?

Also, Heroes season 2, better or worse so far than season 1?

Posted by LOLobo on 10-12-2007 06:53 AM:

Wii!!!

I need some recommendations on where to buy a Wii in the UK. Preferably not online.

Seriously.

I have a person originally from the UK that I work with that has a sister that is having a hard time finding any Wiis in any retail stores... so .. um need some recommendations. Maybe she's retarded or doesn't know where to go.

Posted by Darlowad v4.ob on 10-12-2007 08:26 AM:

Re: Wii!!!

quote:
Originally posted by LOLobo
I need some recommendations on where to buy a Wii in the UK. Preferably not online.

Seriously.

I have a person originally from the UK that I work with that has a sister that is having a hard time finding any Wiis in any retail stores... so .. um need some recommendations. Maybe she's retarded or doesn't know where to go.

argos.

__________________
"darlowad vcdq's mostest bestest poster"

Posted by Mother on 10-12-2007 09:12 AM:

In the same position, looking to buy one for (ahem) my kid for Christmas. There's apparently a global shortages of Wiis:
http://news.cnet.co.uk/gamesgear/0,...49293131,00.htm
http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/gaming/...s-nintendo.html

Woolworths had a few online but they were sold out the next day.

Posted by Neversoft on 10-12-2007 12:57 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cobalt
On a more practical note
1. Where, in the UK can I get the best deal on TFT's
2. Why am I finding widescreen versions of monitors cheaper that normal versions?

Also, Heroes season 2, better or worse so far than season 1?

1. Personally, I'm a massive fan of www.microdirect.co.uk - they're among the cheapest (eBuyer is slightly cheaper but they're also useless fuckers) and the service is good.
2. Probably down to demand - baring in mind that the measurement is diagonal from corner to corner, it can't be because widescreen has less pixels, Pythagoras would explode.
3. Heroes S2 has started fairly slowly much like S1 did. So I guess S1 gets my vote right now... Ask me again in about 19 weeks

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 10-12-2007 01:04 PM:

Re: Wii!!!

quote:
Originally posted by LOLobo
I need some recommendations on where to buy a Wii in the UK. Preferably not online.

Seriously.

I have a person originally from the UK that I work with that has a sister that is having a hard time finding any Wiis in any retail stores... so .. um need some recommendations. Maybe she's retarded or doesn't know where to go.

Darlowad is right about Argos but Woolworths is also worth a try, simply because nobody ever thinks of shopping there for games and shit - I scored Wii Play on release day from there, every other store couldn't even manage a fucking Wiimote! I've also spotted Wii's available in HMV from time-to-time. I think what I'm trying to say is... Avoid the electronics/games stores cos everybody is going there.

If she can bring herself to look online, there's a storechecker here: http://www.wiigamereviews.co.uk/

In fact, my advice is; if this is for a christmas present - buy it online, now, from a HUGE online retailer and you should be in luck... Unless of course, the "shortage" is just some made up Nintendo bullshit to get a bit of free hysteria and publicity

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Mother on 10-16-2007 11:27 AM:

Just ordered one from www.woolworths.co.uk.
If you have it delivered to a local store for pickup, you don't have to pay the £4.95 delivery charge.

Posted by Makaveli_uk on 10-20-2007 11:26 PM:

buy online chipped no point of forking out £40 a game fuck face

Posted by Neversoft on 10-20-2007 11:35 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Makaveli_uk
buy online chipped no point of forking out £40 a game fuck face

No point? If everybody had that attitude then no games would ever get made... My Wii is chipped but I'll still be buying Metroid and Mario Galaxy, fuckface

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Avenue_1 v4.0b on 10-20-2007 11:43 PM:

Dear NS, how much is that doggy in the window?

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 10-20-2007 11:47 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v4.0b
Dear NS, how much is that doggy in the window?

The one with the manky leg? Free... But it's also blind and incontinent and hates kids.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Makaveli_uk on 10-20-2007 11:52 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
No point? If everybody had that attitude then no games would ever get made... My Wii is chipped but I'll still be buying Metroid and Mario Galaxy, fuckface

Fuck me you're right Neversoft. I have reconsidered my stance on this and will purchase my games in future.

In addition, my girlfriend has an asymmetrical vagina and a lisp.

Posted by Avenue_1 v4.0b on 10-20-2007 11:53 PM:

Dear NS, where'd my thread go that i posted in GD. Is it stuck in the mod queue still?

__________________

Posted by LOLobo on 10-21-2007 12:08 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v4.0b
Dear NS, where'd my thread go that i posted in GD. Is it stuck in the mod queue still?

No, not in mod queue.

I share this account with Dwaggy -NS

::Edit:: Regarding deletion of posts... that was for takwhori... if that panz would post more often! It was a failed conspiracy between EJO and me :<

Posted by Neversoft on 10-21-2007 12:09 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v4.0b
Dear NS, where'd my thread go that i posted in GD. Is it stuck in the mod queue still?

The mod queue is empty, dunno what happened to your thread (or even what it was about) but from what I saw in the pink, "somebody" is deleted it... http://forum.vcdq.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=78777

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Makaveli_uk on 10-21-2007 12:47 AM:

you smart ass cunt changing my post but i agree i need a new girlfriend.

can you give me that number for the thai brides sounds like a win win situation

anal fun mmmmmmmm

monkey balls

asian scat penetrating the pores of my tonsils.

Posted by Neversoft on 10-21-2007 10:48 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Makaveli_uk
asian scat penetrating the pores of my tonsils.

That should be the first line of a poem.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by LOLobo on 10-21-2007 06:32 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
That should be the first line of a poem.

Thank you.

Posted by Jay Are on 11-03-2007 07:18 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by J Fresh
well these 2 clash.
You know how I know you're gay. Because you listen to Coldplay.

lol - this is like the first of three conversations that lead up to you being gay.

first its like "oh im done with women"

then its "hey i think i kinda sorta like guys"

finally, it "oh yeah im gay"

__________________
just pretend i said something smart and funny...

Posted by Neversoft on 11-04-2007 09:37 PM:

I fuck blokes even though it disgusts me... I have a very specific fetish that requires me to vomit at the point of ejaculation.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by vanzans on 11-06-2007 09:27 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Jay Are
lol - this is like the first of three conversations that lead up to you being gay.

first its like "oh im done with women"

then its "hey i think i kinda sorta like guys"

finally, it "oh yeah im gay"

40 year old Virgin?

Posted by Avenue_1 v4.0b on 11-06-2007 09:44 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by vanzans
40 year old Virgin?

Yup, i think Jay Are is...

__________________

Posted by Jay Are on 11-09-2007 02:23 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by vanzans
40 year old Virgin?

and we have a winner

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
I fuck blokes even though it disgusts me... I have a very specific fetish that requires me to vomit at the point of ejaculation.

can i just say "eww"

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v4.0b
Yup, i think Jay Are is...

you can smell your own cantcha

__________________
just pretend i said something smart and funny...

Posted by Avenue_1 v4.0b on 11-29-2007 11:51 PM:

HI SEXY!!

Looking for one of those LED nets for xmas that hang on the front of a house that plugs into your graphics card to display videos/pics etc. It was in that xmas film with danny devito "Deck the Halls".
Anyone point me in the right direction to a business in the UK or one that ships to the UK.
FANX!

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 12-03-2007 03:45 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v4.0b
HI SEXY!!

Looking for one of those LED nets for xmas that hang on the front of a house that plugs into your graphics card to display videos/pics etc. It was in that xmas film with danny devito "Deck the Halls".
Anyone point me in the right direction to a business in the UK or one that ships to the UK.
FANX!

I can find plenty of computer controlled lights but none that run off your GFX card and show video... are you sure it wasn't just in a movie, you are a bit of a mong?

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Crump on 12-03-2007 03:27 PM:

Alright Chief!

Tell me, when does the Ricky Hatton fight start at the weekend? I know it starts at 11pm on box office, but i wanna know what time i'm gonna have to stay up till.

Posted by Avenue_1 v4.0b on 12-03-2007 05:24 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
I can find plenty of computer controlled lights but none that run off your GFX card and show video... are you sure it wasn't just in a movie, I am a bit of a mong?

You're slipping my homo friend

, here's a link that arthur posted confirming they are real http://www.shoppingblog.com/cgi-bin...l?sblog=1121061

Can you do anything with this info?

__________________

Posted by bottles on 12-04-2007 02:54 PM:

dear Neversoft,

not having pay-per-view, and not having a ticket, is there any way to watch or listen to the Mayweather vs. Hatton fight live next Saturday?

Posted by Neversoft on 12-06-2007 06:03 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by mekeceze
dear Neversoft,

not having pay-per-view, and not having a ticket, is there any way to watch or listen to the Mayweather vs. Hatton fight live next Saturday?

Yes, but unless you know somebody who'll invite you around you're fucked... Providing you with links or means of circumventing the PPV protection would be illegal

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Avenue_1 v4.0b on 12-06-2007 06:11 PM:

Can i finger your cunt?

__________________

Posted by bottles on 12-06-2007 06:31 PM:

dear NS, is it possible to circumvent PPV protection?!

Posted by Avenue_1 v4.0b on 12-06-2007 06:57 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by mekeceze
dear NS, is it possible to circumvent PPV protection?!

if you have a satellite setup then point it to

RTL Germany 09/12/2007
19E
12188 H 27500 3/4

This is being broadcast free to all.

If you have cable then you can modify your card to access it for free.

If you look in the right places it will be streamed live on the net.

You will probably be able to download it not long after the fight too.

__________________

Posted by bottles on 12-06-2007 07:10 PM:

thanks ave. I think the live stream is my best option. I will get busy googleing, and then I will get busy wanking if I find one. Fuck I am so excited, I might just bash one out right now.

Posted by David Cameron on 12-06-2007 08:03 PM:

I'm sure you could watch it over the net with something like sopcast or TVAnts but the quality would be poor and you can expect buffering to be slower than a one legged donkey.

Posted by bottles on 12-06-2007 08:26 PM:

Better than nothing.. having said that, if the buffering is that bad, I will wait for a dl next day. Damn I miss the days before PPV.

Posted by Avenue_1 v4.0b on 12-06-2007 09:12 PM:

One things for sure, i'm getting a nice big bag of charlie to help keep me awake.

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 12-07-2007 01:12 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v4.0b
You're slipping my homo friend , here's a link that arthur posted confirming they are real http://www.shoppingblog.com/cgi-bin...l?sblog=1121061

Can you do anything with this info?

I'll refer you to my original response... Those LED lights DON'T run off the GFX card you need a dedicated controller and software, just like any other lighting rig. Plus, they're spunktacularly expensive... If you want links to all-singing all-dancing lighting setups, I can probably sort that but that's not what I was asked

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 12-07-2007 01:13 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v4.0b
Can i finger your cunt?

You're "my" cunt, poke yer fucking eye out

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 12-07-2007 01:16 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by mekeceze
dear NS, is it possible to circumvent PPV protection?!

Probably! I know you can get cable boxes that show ALL channels but I'm not sure about Sky... As much as it pains me to say this, I'd go with Ave_1s suggestion.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 12-07-2007 01:19 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Lord Crump
Alright Chief!

Tell me, when does the Ricky Hatton fight start at the weekend? I know it starts at 11pm on box office, but i wanna know what time i'm gonna have to stay up till.

If it's anything like UFC fights there will be a few shittier bouts beforehand with assloads of build-up to bore you senseless, you'll probably be waiting until at least 3am before "it" kicks off.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by David Cameron on 12-07-2007 09:37 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v4.0b
One things for sure, i'm getting a nice big bag of charlie to help keep me awake.

I made the mistake of buying mine today which means its gonna be gone by tomorrow. Expensive weekend, the cunt better win.

Posted by Avenue_1 v4.0b on 12-07-2007 09:41 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cupidstunt
I made the mistake of buying mine today which means its gonna be gone by tomorrow. Expensive weekend, the cunt better win.

lol your the same as me m8, i can't keep it in the house or i'll be tootin it...the fucker calls and calls my name , and once you pop you can't stop

__________________

Posted by Makaveli_uk on 12-08-2007 11:39 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v4.0b
lol your the same as me m8, i can't keep it in the house or i'll be tootin it...the fucker calls and calls my name , and once you pop you can't stop

wtf cock smokin is more of your game m8

dear neverhard

why is this forum full of crack tootin cock smoking cunts like your self???

do you give out free passes to your retarded m8's for some bum fun

please enlighten me with your wisdom o google god of gay porn

Posted by Neversoft on 12-09-2007 09:02 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Makaveli_uk
wtf cock smokin is more of your game m8

dear neverhard

why is this forum full of crack tootin cock smoking cunts like your self???

do you give out free passes to your retarded m8's for some bum fun

please enlighten me with your wisdom o google god of gay porn

1. Because they have nowhere else to go, we were all banned from the Nambla forums for being too perverted.

2. No pass required, they're all gaping and self-basting. Besides, only half my mates are retarded and the other half are raging benders, none of them combine the two traits... Fucking spoilsports.

3. Enlighten you? I would never be so presumptuous as to think that you can be "enlightened", I've read your posts. I have "heard" (from Doctor Zoidy) that repeated trauma to the anus can destroy brain cells though so if you could resist being tag-fucked for a few days, you might be able to scrape together enough neurons to be enlightened, but I wont hold my breath.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by cobalt on 12-09-2007 10:58 AM:

NS,

If I got a small size solid state disk (say around 8gb) and installed the OS alone on it, then used a bigger IDE or SATA drive to install various programs would I see a big difference in speed of access?

I can think that the OS startup would be quick, but how about the day to day running?

Is it really practicle, or should the OS and Programs all be on one drive?

Posted by Neversoft on 12-09-2007 12:19 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cobalt
NS,

If I got a small size solid state disk (say around 8gb) and installed the OS alone on it, then used a bigger IDE or SATA drive to install various programs would I see a big difference in speed of access?

I can think that the OS startup would be quick, but how about the day to day running?

Is it really practicle, or should the OS and Programs all be on one drive?

Other than it requiring a few registy hacks to get some software working (basically pointing internal settings *away* from the flash drive so you can cache stuff on your HD) and some applications might still be a bit flakey if they're hard-coded with various paths, it seems like a workable idea... And yes, it should be pretty fast, especially if you have lots of ram because I suspect the thing that would slow it down is Window's remarkable propensity for spooning shit out to the swap file - and write speeds on many flash drives are a bit cack (still faster than a HD I guess though).

so, erm, you can do it but it's not simply a case of installing your OS like normal, but a quick Google pulled-up a few guides.

Oh, and remember to ensure your PC and flash drive are USB2 or you're going to be pretty fucked off when you measure your boot times in hours

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by cobalt on 12-09-2007 01:02 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Oh, and remember to ensure your PC and flash drive are USB2 or you're going to be pretty fucked off when you measure your boot times in hours

I was thinking more of one of these rather than a flash pen or mini key, but I heed your advice!

Posted by Neversoft on 12-13-2007 01:01 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cobalt
I was thinking more of one of these rather than a flash pen or mini key, but I heed your advice!

Ah! My main points still stand... Install the drive, shove Windows on it then point anything that will "grow" (Program Files, My Documents etc) at your standard drive... It's piss-easy and there's even some PC apps out there to assist you. You'd be better off posting this in the computer help forum so I and our other resident boffs can point you in the right direction.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by xParaDox on 12-16-2007 05:35 AM:

What exactly would you do for a Klondike bar?

And

If the World slowed its spin rate, would we age slower?

Are Aliens real?

Do you believe in the Illuminati?

Posted by cobalt on 12-16-2007 07:43 PM:

NS, me old mucker

Could you take a look at this bad boy - http://forum.vcdq.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=79557 and impart any words of Wisdom?

Also when I try and get to the link, it seems to break the site for me. When I posted, it took ages to actually save, and when I first visited the page there was no body to the text at all. I then posted a reply, which actually ended up being the initial post. All very weird, can other people read it alright?

Posted by monty23 on 12-16-2007 09:09 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by xParaDox
What exactly would you do for a Klondike bar?

And

If the World slowed its spin rate, would we age slower?

Are Aliens real?

Do you believe in the Illuminati?

CRACKING POST!!

Posted by Neversoft on 12-17-2007 05:30 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by xParaDox
What exactly would you do for a Klondike bar?

And

If the World slowed its spin rate, would we age slower?

Are Aliens real?

Do you believe in the Illuminati?

1. Having never had a Klondike bar (I don't think you can get them in the UK) I'm not 100% sure but considering it's basically a "Choc Ice" I guess I'd treat it like a Mars Bar ice cream or a Crunchie Ice... I'd happily recreate the Tubgirl photo on live national TV just to lick the wrapper.

2. Nope... Otherwise we'd all move to the poles and be immortal

If you slow the entire planet the answer is still "No" relativity is a cunt like that.

3. Maths and common sense says "yes" (at some point in time) but I doubt we'll be meeting them. Drakes equation agrees with me

4. The Illuminati are horseshit but I fully believe (and expect) the "power brokers" of the world operate illegally and outside of the law - probably because most of the lawmakers are on their payroll.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by xParaDox on 12-18-2007 10:06 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
I'd happily recreate the Tubgirl photo on live national TV just to lick the wrapper.

What would be required for you to actually preform the acts depicted in the "Tubgirl" photo on national TV?

Posted by 65dos on 12-19-2007 04:52 AM:

Here's one...

Is it possible to unlock a 1.1.1 iphone that is already jailbroken so i can use all sims or do i need to downgrade to 1.0.2 before doing all the SSH shite?

Posted by Neversoft on 12-19-2007 09:54 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by xParaDox
What would be required for you to actually preform the acts depicted in the "Tubgirl" photo on national TV?

A bath, an enema and a TV Studio.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 12-19-2007 09:58 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by 65dos
Here's one...

Is it possible to unlock a 1.1.1 iphone that is already jailbroken so i can use all sims or do i need to downgrade to 1.0.2 before doing all the SSH shite?

It depends... AnySIM claims to be able to unlock 1.1.1 iPhones if they're Virgin ones (and they're working on expanding that). Otherwise it looks like you need to downgrade first.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Mother on 12-19-2007 11:24 AM:

Dear Neversoft,

What's the most cost-effective solution for low volume black and white printing?

Currently I'm fucked off with the price of inkjet cartridges, and not had much success with refilling (messy and too much hassle).

Posted by 65dos on 12-19-2007 02:39 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
It depends... AnySIM claims to be able to unlock 1.1.1 iPhones if they're Virgin ones (and they're working on expanding that). Otherwise it looks like you need to downgrade first.

cheeers i'll downgrade now and let you know how it goes

Posted by Mystic Slippers on 12-19-2007 05:15 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

Can fat teens hunt?

Thanks,

Concerned from Bristol.

Posted by Avenue_1 v5.0b on 12-19-2007 06:03 PM:

Dear NS, why did my question in this thread go unanswered, is it coz i is black?

Posted by 65dos on 12-20-2007 05:07 AM:

Well I did it. iPhones are really not worth the bother. But I am getting a Nintendo DS for unlocking this one so I'm happy

Posted by Neversoft on 12-21-2007 02:13 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Mother
Dear Neversoft,

What's the most cost-effective solution for low volume black and white printing?

Currently I'm fucked off with the price of inkjet cartridges, and not had much success with refilling (messy and too much hassle).

For price-per-print I'm fairly sure that Laser Printers are still waaaaaaay cheaper than Inkjets in the long run. Sure, the carts are expensive but they last for assloads of prints and don't "go off" as quickly as Inkjet carts do.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 12-21-2007 02:14 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Mystic Slippers
Dear Neversoft,

Can fat teens hunt?

Thanks,

Concerned from Bristol.

Only when motivated by hunger... They can't dance either.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 12-21-2007 02:16 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v5.0b
Dear NS, why did my question in this thread go unanswered, is it coz i is black?

I missed your question but I probably wouldn't have answered it anyway... Repost it in here along with a scan of your nutsack done on an A4 scanner and I'll impart my wisdom for you.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Mystic Slippers on 12-21-2007 02:23 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Only when motivated by hunger... They can't dance either.

Thank you for your prompt, insightful answer.

Felicitations and seasonal yule greetings to yourself and your loved ones during this festive period.

Posted by lmao2k on 12-21-2007 11:03 PM:

Dear Neversoft,

Are there any essential items I should purchase for the Ninetendo DS?

All I have curently is an m3 real rumble ram pack and the ds itself

Thanks

Posted by Neversoft on 01-02-2008 02:43 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by lmao2k
Dear Neversoft,

Are there any essential items I should purchase for the Ninetendo DS?

All I have curently is an m3 real rumble ram pack and the ds itself

Thanks

Yes... Screen protector thingys (trust me, the stylus might be blunt but those screens are scratchtastic) and some spare stylussesss... styliiiii... styliuussess. I got one of those "knitted" beanies for mine as well - protects it without if being bulky or gay, like a case.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Mother on 01-02-2008 07:04 PM:

And where can you buy screen protector thingies from (without having to buy a load of other crap as well)?

Edit: Too late, I just got a couple off ebay.

Posted by Neversoft on 01-03-2008 06:38 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Mother
And where can you buy screen protector thingies from (without having to buy a load of other crap as well)?

Edit: Too late, I just got a couple off ebay.

I'd recommend eBay!

Seriously though... You should've bought them in the high street, they cost fuck all and you've probably paid more when you include postage

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by lmao2k on 01-04-2008 01:53 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Yes... Screen protector thingys (trust me, the stylus might be blunt but those screens are scratchtastic) and some spare stylussesss... styliiiii... styliuussess. I got one of those "knitted" beanies for mine as well - protects it without if being bulky or gay, like a case.

...

I'd recommend eBay!

Seriously though... You should've bought them in the high street, they cost fuck all and you've probably paid more when you include postage

Cheers, i've nabbed some off ebay. Soooo can't be arsed to walk in to town!

Posted by cobalt on 01-16-2008 02:00 AM:

Here's an odd, but probably easy question:

I've reinstalled my media PC and I now find that any videos that have white light show these lights with black snow like effect.

It's getting to be a pain in the arse with shows like ER where lots of spotlights are used, but also shows like American Dad where the eyes are normally bright white are getting a bit freaky to watch.

It's a Vista Media center PC, with xvid installed. Any ideas?

Posted by djpecker on 01-16-2008 04:11 AM:

My SATA drive, when plugged in, either as a second drive or as the main drive, makes my computer not boot up.

No bios or POST.

Computer works fine with other hard drives.

Does this mean the one that doesn't work is fucked?

No chance of fixing it?

Cheers.

Posted by Jay Are on 01-18-2008 03:32 AM:

i cannot decide whether or not to donate to this site. your thoughts?

__________________
just pretend i said something smart and funny...

Posted by ZootedLooter on 01-18-2008 04:31 AM:

now your learnin j....this is the proper place to find your answers

Posted by Darlowad on 01-18-2008 02:27 PM:

dear neversoft

please banhammer jayare

he is a total C U N T

also i have £6 in my paypal

what can i buy ??

__________________
A Vote for Ave is a Vote for FREEDOM!

Posted by Jay Are on 01-19-2008 09:20 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by djpecker
My SATA drive, when plugged in, either as a second drive or as the main drive, makes my computer not boot up.

No bios or POST.

Computer works fine with other hard drives.

Does this mean the one that doesn't work is fucked?

No chance of fixing it?

Cheers.

i'm thinking the sata controller has an issue. most mobos have more than one; i would try the other. also, does the drive work on a different system?

__________________
just pretend i said something smart and funny...

Posted by Neversoft on 02-20-2008 11:53 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by cobalt
Here's an odd, but probably easy question:

I've reinstalled my media PC and I now find that any videos that have white light show these lights with black snow like effect.

It's getting to be a pain in the arse with shows like ER where lots of spotlights are used, but also shows like American Dad where the eyes are normally bright white are getting a bit freaky to watch.

It's a Vista Media center PC, with xvid installed. Any ideas?

Presumably it's either a driver or codec issue... Try the file with a standalone player that doesn't use standard Windows codecs like VLC - if that doesn't work, take this to the computer help part of the forum when all of the sites techies can have a ponder.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 02-20-2008 11:55 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by djpecker
My SATA drive, when plugged in, either as a second drive or as the main drive, makes my computer not boot up.

No bios or POST.

Computer works fine with other hard drives.

Does this mean the one that doesn't work is fucked?

No chance of fixing it?

Cheers.

Yet another question that would be better suited to the Computer Help forum but I'll just ask this... Are the other drives SATA or IDE? Have you tried the problem drive in another PC (or buy/borrow a USB drive enclosure and test it in that)

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 02-20-2008 12:37 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Jay Are
i cannot decide whether or not to donate to this site. your thoughts?

You'll only spend the money on Gin and porn otherwise... For every $ donated to the site we feed a homeless person to famine-ravaged children - so do your bit for humanity!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 02-20-2008 12:39 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Darlowad v6.0b
dear neversoft

please banhammer jayare

he is a total C U N T

also i have £6 in my paypal

what can i buy ??

1. No

2. Buy some knock-off Bjorn Borg underwear from eBay.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by domio on 03-07-2008 08:42 PM:

hi could u tell me where i could check to see wat r5 releases are comin out please

also i jus wrote a comment here an it not appeared up ?

::Yeah... read a bit, especially the rules, first ten posts are moderated::~L

Posted by domio on 03-09-2008 02:10 PM:

yeh i did try to but u get like 5 secs to read it.
so do u no of any site or any thing cheers

Posted by cobalt on 03-09-2008 10:10 PM:

Neversoft can you find me a tinterweb page or thread that will fix Assassins Creed on the PC that will allow the game to go into the Jerusalem level without crashing - and just to make it more tricky, I don't want my game text and voice overs turning all Rusky as has been known with some cracks?

Posted by Neversoft on 03-10-2008 05:13 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by cobalt
Neversoft can you find me a tinterweb page or thread that will fix Assassins Creed on the PC that will allow the game to go into the Jerusalem level without crashing - and just to make it more tricky, I don't want my game text and voice overs turning all Rusky as has been known with some cracks?

It's not the final retail version that's why... You can arse about using bits of the working Russian release to "transplant" into your English release and then patch a few bits here and there but it's still going to be about as stable as a one-legged bloke in an arse kicking competition - wait until the full retail version.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by cobalt on 03-10-2008 09:10 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
It's not the final retail version that's why... You can arse about using bits of the working Russian release to "transplant" into your English release and then patch a few bits here and there but it's still going to be about as stable as a one-legged bloke in an arse kicking competition - wait until the full retail version.

As I thought ...

Ta for the effort tho!

Posted by takwhori on 04-14-2008 11:25 PM:

What's the best way of converting avi's to work on NDS moonshell?

Posted by Neversoft on 04-16-2008 05:34 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by takwhori
What's the best way of converting avi's to work on NDS moonshell?

A DPG converter is supplied with Moonshell but the quality is a little iffy, apparently BatchDPG does a better job and has more features: http://www.maxconsole.net/?mode=news&newsid=8480

Personally though, I've never bothered... My NDS is for playing Nanostray

Posted by takwhori on 04-17-2008 11:00 AM:

Thanks for that.

You must be playing Nanostray 2 by now?

Nice feature the online scoreboard.

Posted by kygoff on 05-04-2008 10:33 PM:

All wise one, I have a large group of friends and a large collection of rare un-copyright protected videos. What would be the best way to get my 700-1GB size videos to just friends around the world. We thought of creating a private tracker, but don't really know how to set one up. Any other ideas? Cheap and fast is just how we like it. Alliance seems to do part of what we're trying to do. For the last couple of years, we had to sacrifice quality and go the megaupload etc route. Since most of these are highschool ballgames, it sux when quality is sheat

Posted by Neversoft on 05-10-2008 05:13 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by kygoff
All wise one, I have a large group of friends and a large collection of rare un-copyright protected videos. What would be the best way to get my 700-1GB size videos to just friends around the world. We thought of creating a private tracker, but don't really know how to set one up. Any other ideas? Cheap and fast is just how we like it. Alliance seems to do part of what we're trying to do. For the last couple of years, we had to sacrifice quality and go the megaupload etc route. Since most of these are highschool ballgames, it sux when quality is sheat

A private tracker would do the trick but you might want to look into setting up a DC hub: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Direct..._(file_sharing)

Posted by pissytwat on 05-18-2008 01:10 PM:

any idea how to change imei no on a w850i

Posted by Neversoft on 05-18-2008 02:03 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by pissytwat
any idea how to change imei no on a w850i

I don't even know if you can... I hurled myself at a search engine and many places basically say "yes" but fail to explain how. The most informative site I found was here; http://www.expansys-usa.com/f.aspx?i=136914
It aint gonna be easy

Posted by David Cameron on 05-18-2008 02:21 PM:

It also ain't gonna be legal. 5 year sentence for changing Imei's. I'm pretty sure it will require some hardware, there is no software only solution.

Posted by pissytwat on 05-18-2008 08:02 PM:

cheers neversoft i must improve my google skills been looking for this for a while.

Posted by ZootedLooter on 07-13-2008 03:39 PM:

dear neversoft,
can you please give me an appropriate timeline that i should allow my significant other to sleep off their hangover before i start harassing them to do the dirty with me.
thanx

Posted by Avenue_1 on 07-13-2008 05:04 PM:

Do her while she sleeps, in the "spoon" position! [ you've ALL done it, don't lie ]

Anytime i have a hangover it's always a horny hangover, but when it comes to women they just want to be left alone...unless it's a buckbag you picked up from the night before

__________________
I'M NEVER COMING BACK TO THESE FORUMS... BOOHOOHOO

OH WAIT...I'M BACK

Posted by Neversoft on 07-13-2008 07:53 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by ZootedLooter
dear neversoft,
can you please give me an appropriate timeline that i should allow my significant other to sleep off their hangover before i start harassing them to do the dirty with me.
thanx

It's difficult to be specific but I'd suggest about 60mins after she stops getting angry at inanimate objects. You can hasten her recovery by giving her plenty of OJ laced with amphetamines.

Posted by Phantom on 07-13-2008 08:11 PM:

Hey NS,
whatever happened to the new site logo design contest?
And what's up with the idea of improving VCDQ?

Posted by ZootedLooter on 07-14-2008 10:03 PM:

haha....the girl posted that one...not me....(you can tell cause id never call you dear)
......and it turns out she didnt wait too long

i gotta log out when im done it seems

Posted by Mother on 07-15-2008 12:22 PM:

So anyway...
Do female goats have orgasms?

Posted by Neversoft on 07-15-2008 02:52 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Xero
Hey NS,
whatever happened to the new site logo design contest?
And what's up with the idea of improving VCDQ?

It's improved every time I post

Seriously, we have the will but not the time... Have patience, lots of it!

Posted by Neversoft on 07-15-2008 02:56 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by ZootedLooter
haha....the girl posted that one...not me....(you can tell cause id never call you dear)
......and it turns out she didnt wait too long

So she took my advice then? Good. If you're struggling to control your woman send her to Blighty for a few days at Château Neversoft - it's a service I provide, similar to how they "break down" the actresses in Latino pornos

Posted by Neversoft on 07-15-2008 02:57 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Mother
So anyway...
Do female goats have orgasms?

Not in my experience.

Posted by Crashhat on 08-03-2008 02:40 PM:

Dear Neversoft,
It does look like you know your shit but to test your metal - is it possible to format a 8Gb M2 memory card so that the full allocation is visible? I have tried in vain and all i get is 4Gb available???
( if this is a simple process feel free to abuse )
Cheers

Posted by Neversoft on 08-04-2008 11:59 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Crashhat
Dear Neversoft,
It does look like you know your shit but to test your metal - is it possible to format a 8Gb M2 memory card so that the full allocation is visible? I have tried in vain and all i get is 4Gb available???
( if this is a simple process feel free to abuse )
Cheers

Are you getting 8GB visible on your PC and not when you insert it in the phone? Some phones can only access M2 cards up to 2 or 4GB, such as the Sony Ericsson K800i (like mine) - although it can at least use the 8GB, it misreports it. Others don't like em at all. Check your manual and check for firmware updates but you might never get it fully working.

If you're talking about the full 8GB not being visible from the PC, what are you formatting it as? Does it make a difference if you format it via your phone?

Posted by Crashhat on 08-04-2008 01:05 PM:

To reply I don't see the full allocation via my PC or the phone. I have tried 2 format variations standard using windows and one using DOS. I tried changing the format to NTFS but it seem to affect the way the phone handles the folder structure. So i changed back to FAT32 and a standard format only gives me the 4gb. That said i don't know how to format via the phone ( sony c902 ) any tips would be appreciated as its detracting me from my self relief.

Posted by Neversoft on 08-05-2008 11:32 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Crashhat
To reply I don't see the full allocation via my PC or the phone. I have tried 2 format variations standard using windows and one using DOS. I tried changing the format to NTFS but it seem to affect the way the phone handles the folder structure. So i changed back to FAT32 and a standard format only gives me the 4gb. That said i don't know how to format via the phone ( sony c902 ) any tips would be appreciated as its detracting me from my self relief.

On my SE K800i it's in the File Manager (then I think more>memory>format) or something to that effect. I'd check for you but my battery is fucked (about to buy a new one) and your phone is a year or two newer... If the PC is also misreporting it though, it may be the card itself.

Posted by ZootedLooter on 08-05-2008 06:12 PM:

grock

Dear neversoft,
In your opinion ,is there anything wrong Coulrophilia ?
Also how do u know if its just a phase and what are your thoughts about getting someone to participate ?
thanx

Posted by Neversoft on 08-06-2008 11:48 AM:

Re: grock

quote:
Originally posted by ZootedLooter
Dear neversoft,
In your opinion ,is there anything wrong Coulrophilia ?
Also how do u know if its just a phase and what are your thoughts about getting someone to participate ?
thanx

For the uninitiated, Coulrophilia (also known as "Bozophilia") is the term used to describe people who are sexually attracted to clowns and to a lesser extent, Mimes and Jesters. It seems pretty harmless until you've been raped by a clown.

As for getting someone to participate... Get yourself a job as a children's entertainer.

Posted by Crashhat on 08-06-2008 07:46 PM:

Cheers for the pointers. Format via phone sorted. Thanks

Posted by ZootedLooter on 08-07-2008 08:26 PM:

Re: Re: grock

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
For the uninitiated, Coulrophilia (also known as "Bozophilia") is the term used to describe people who are sexually attracted to clowns and to a lesser extent, Mimes and Jesters. It seems pretty harmless until you've been raped by a clown.

As for getting someone to participate... Get yourself a job as a children's entertainer.

thank god yr here to help,i knew u wouldnt disappoint;
although i think i would feel a little dirty being a child entertainer.
i gotta get the hell outta coney island me thinks.

thanx again

Posted by Arthur Daily on 08-19-2008 09:03 PM:

You told me once before, a long time back
but its happened again and i can remember how to fix it..

How do i make windows just load right to my desktop.
so i don't have to click my square logo on the welcome screen ?

its only me on this PC, no other accounts ffs
getting on my tits

__________________
*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

Posted by Dutch on 08-19-2008 09:36 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Arthur Daily
You told me once before, a long time back
but its happened again and i can remember how to fix it..

How do i make windows just load right to my desktop.
so i don't have to click my square logo on the welcome screen ?

its only me on this PC, no other accounts ffs
getting on my tits

This is what the great man had to say on page 13 of this thread:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Click Start, Run and type CONTROL USERPASSWORDS2, and click Ok. Select the user account from the list (to which account you want to automatically logon). Uncheck "Users must enter a user name and password to use this computer" option, and click Ok. Type the user account password and complete the process.

For Windows XP Home, don't try to auto-login as the built-in Administrator, as you'll receive a restrictions error.

Posted by ZootedLooter on 09-13-2008 10:32 PM:

Re: Re: grock

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
For the uninitiated, Coulrophilia (also known as "Bozophilia") is the term used to describe people who are sexually attracted to clowns and to a lesser extent, Mimes and Jesters. It seems pretty harmless until you've been raped by a clown.

As for getting someone to participate... Get yourself a job as a children's entertainer.

thanx for the insight softy...i didnt even know what the fuck Coulrophilia was

but the real question is.....

how do i keep the girl from hijacking my vcdq and email accts?

by the way...
i fixed her problem by wearing some clown makeup and tying some bells to my sack

Posted by Avenue_1 on 09-13-2008 10:56 PM:

yup

quote:
Originally posted by ZootedLooter

how do i keep the girl from hijacking my vcdq and email accts?

Get her to message me and i'll put her off for life

Posted by ZootedLooter on 11-11-2008 10:01 AM:

dear mr neversoft,
why is it that when i the get bouts of the insomnia,bad cartoons and beer i always feel the need to come up with ways to harass me husband?
sincerely yrz
k.k

Posted by Neversoft on 11-14-2008 12:47 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by ZootedLooter
dear mr neversoft,
why is it that when i the get bouts of the insomnia,bad cartoons and beer i always feel the need to come up with ways to harass me husband?
sincerely yrz
k.k

The short answer is "Because you have ovaries" but the question you should be asking is "How can I better serve my husband?" - now send Zooted back to the forum, he needs advice on how to control his woman... Probably using the tried and tested method of Domestic Violence (which would also be a good name for a band).

Posted by ZootedLooter on 11-15-2008 01:03 AM:

i seen this post a few days ago...i can always tell when she fucks with my acct cause the view new posts doesnt read everything...so...anyway...

she "serves" me pretty good to be honest...and when she gets out of line ive tried the physical discipline thing....it just doesnt do any good....it turns out that she enjoys the shit out of it....but i guess it still works in my favor cause then she "serves" me some more

as far as the control goes?....i have control over one of her personalities....but some of the others really scare the shit out of me

Posted by David Cameron on 11-20-2008 05:56 PM:

Lets see just how good you are NS;

Where can I buy these shoes ?

Posted by David Cameron on 11-23-2008 08:17 PM:

Is this Neversofts first Fail?

Posted by Neversoft on 11-23-2008 08:51 PM:

I didn't spot the post, I'm on it!

Posted by Neversoft on 11-24-2008 05:13 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by cupidstunt
Is this Neversofts first Fail?

It's only a fail if it's possible to buy those fuckers somewhere online and at the moment I don't think it is... I've searched until my fingers hurt and can't even find any details on this specific boot (I can find others) - maybe they're not available to the public yet?

Seriously, even arty-farty sites don't have info on em... You may as well have asked me how to make a fusion reactor using egg boxes, lint and a porn mag featuring horny British housewives.

Posted by David Cameron on 11-24-2008 06:13 AM:

Hmm.

Well maybe I'll let you off this time then. I'm sure it would be possible to buy them somewhere though.

Posted by yoshy on 11-24-2008 10:52 AM:

If....................They were worth buying..........

__________________
When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over.

There comes a point in your life when you realise;
who matters,
who never did,
who won't any more...
and who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

Posted by The CandyMan on 11-24-2008 01:24 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Seriously, even arty-farty sites don't have info on em... You may as well have asked me how to make a fusion reactor using egg boxes, lint and a porn mag featuring horny British housewives.

If found porn mag featuring horny Icelandic housewives works better.

Dear Nevy,

Is their a way to retrieve a bios password on a Dell computer (Dell Dimension 2400)? Working on a friend of my girl's Dell and she cannot remember her bios password. Did some googlinginginging but nothing that seems to work. Any ideas, suggestions, hacks, software, etc.? Got it to format and reinstall XP but would really like to be able to tweak her bios (and no I don't mean it that fuckin way!)

__________________

Posted by David Cameron on 11-24-2008 06:42 PM:

KillCMOS

Or remove CMOS battery.

Posted by The CandyMan on 11-24-2008 08:17 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cupidstunt
KillCMOS

Or remove CMOS battery.

Tried that. Left it out for 2 hours just yesterday bios still ask for the password. Seems on these particular Dells that trick doesn't work.

I'll give KillCMOS a try but more than likely it does the same as removing the battery I'm guessing.

__________________

Posted by David Cameron on 11-24-2008 08:25 PM:

Try the backdoor password. Dell. Sounds daft I know but it actually works on some BIOS. If its not Dell, google for a backdoor password for your specific BIOS/Board.

If you can't find a working pass, try here .

Posted by David Cameron on 11-24-2008 08:30 PM:

Still no joy?

1-800-WWW-DELL

Posted by David Cameron on 11-26-2008 10:19 PM:

Well, if you thought the last question was tough. This one will probably be tougher.

Dear Neversoft.

How can I get my hands on some tickets for the Last Night At The Proms?

I don't want to pay a fortune for them and I want them secured as soon as possible (next ones not for about 9 months)

Posted by The CandyMan on 11-26-2008 11:13 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cupidstunt
Still no joy?

1-800-WWW-DELL

Yeah I ended up working around the problem of not being to access the bios but I told them more than likely they'll have to try a few different possible password or call Dell. I was lead to believe the system was originally purchased by them but after finding two names (Will and Mary) as log-ins, and those are not their names lol I figured they got it from a friend or family member.

Either way I got the system running perfect.

__________________

Posted by Neversoft on 11-27-2008 03:24 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by cupidstunt
Well, if you thought the last question was tough. This one will probably be tougher.

Dear Neversoft.

How can I get my hands on some tickets for the Last Night At The Proms?

I don't want to pay a fortune for them and I want them secured as soon as possible (next ones not for about 9 months)

Tickets for the current Proms are here and the tickets for the next proms will be there once available as well... Most expensive tickets are £90pp in a Grand Tier Box.

Posted by David Cameron on 11-27-2008 09:04 AM:

I'd read somewhere that to get tickets to the last night you have to have been to at least 4 of the other Proms. I don't want to do that.

Posted by Neversoft on 11-28-2008 01:39 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by cupidstunt
I'd read somewhere that to get tickets to the last night you have to have been to at least 4 of the other Proms. I don't want to do that.

I can't see any evidence of that on the booking site cock-face. Last year you had to book at least SIX other tickets for the Royal Albert Hall for the 2007 season but I can't find that for the 2008 season.

Posted by Avenue_1 on 11-28-2008 11:22 PM:

Hi Sexy...

Reinstalled vista after it was playing up, on my philips x59 laptop and went to use the internal card reader. For some reason the cunt wont work.

Using generic vista drivers and it just won't fucking work.

I know my laptop may be broken and i should put it in the bin, but do you have any suggestions using your special spastic skills?

Posted by Avenue_1 on 11-30-2008 02:02 PM:

Where are you?

Posted by Avenue_1 on 11-30-2008 02:45 PM:

Never mind, my spastic skills are better than yours, got it sorted

Maybe you should change the title of this thread to Ask Gimp Mask

Posted by cobalt on 12-11-2008 01:30 AM:

I'm interested in showing the GPU temps for my ATI card on my desktop for the next week or so. Back in uni I had a widget type thing that told me everything (drives, cpu, ram etc) but can't for the life of me rember what it was called.

Any suggestions on widget type software (to run on XP 64bit)?

Free, but as I say I only really care about the GPU temp for now.

Ta!

Posted by Avenue_1 on 12-11-2008 05:16 PM:

Don't ask Neversoft, he's shite.

Program you're looking for is CS Fire Monitor...excellent app.

<<Here>>

__________________
I'M NEVER COMING BACK TO THESE FORUMS... BOOHOOHOO

OH WAIT...I'M BACK

Posted by cobalt on 12-11-2008 07:26 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Gimp Mask
Don't ask Neversoft, he's shite.

Program you're looking for is CS Fire Monitor...excellent app.

<<Here>>

The young pretender steps up to the plate, but its a swing an a miss.

Sorry Gimp, the app had no reference to graphics cards, didnt seem to have any ability to send the data to the desktop, and was pig ugly.

Any other suggestions people? Something simple, clean, which can produce a temp figure in a top corner of one of my screens?

Posted by Avenue_1 on 12-11-2008 08:21 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cobalt
The young pretender steps up to the plate, but its a swing an a miss.

Sorry Gimp, the app had no reference to graphics cards, didnt seem to have any ability to send the data to the desktop, and was pig ugly.

Any other suggestions peple? Something simple, clean, which can produce a temp figure in a top corner of one of my screens?

Damn son, completely missed the most important bit aboout the GPU temp

But in my defence, the gui may be ugly, but u can attach small widgety type bars to your desktop that show the ram, processor, internet speed etc etc.
Has some o.k. features in it.

__________________
I'M NEVER COMING BACK TO THESE FORUMS... BOOHOOHOO

OH WAIT...I'M BACK

Posted by cobalt on 12-12-2008 07:24 PM:

No problem, I'm just keen to keep an eye on my GPU temp in one monitor while a game plays in the other so I can tweak the fan speed as low as possible.

I know I could run the ATI tool in the second window, but having a neat small app, with maybe CPU and RAM info as well would be good.

Anything else from anyone?

Posted by valvehead on 12-12-2008 08:12 PM:

Everset Ultimate Edition is good at keeping track of temp's.
You can chose what hardware you want to monitor and it shows the value in the system tray, or you can just run it windowed and it shows everything about your cpu, ram, etc...

::It's not exactly a small app though, but it only takes up about 20mb memory.

Posted by Neversoft on 12-17-2008 06:45 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Gimp Mask
Where are you?

Sorry, I've been a bit busy/awol recently due to GF and work... Thanks for trying to be helpful, but you're just not handsome enough.

Posted by Avenue_1 on 12-17-2008 07:04 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Sorry, I've been a bit busy/awol recently due to GF and work...

Understood m8. When you're an ugly bastard such as yourself, you have to be at your girls beck and call or she might leave you. Then you will have to mooch through BBW sites for another few years to get someone to have sex with.

__________________
I'M NEVER COMING BACK TO THESE FORUMS... BOOHOOHOO

OH WAIT...I'M BACK

Posted by Neversoft on 12-18-2008 12:25 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Gimp Mask
Then you will have to mooch through BBW sites for another few years to get someone to have sex with.

How is your Mum nowadays?

Posted by Avenue_1 on 12-18-2008 05:08 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
How is your Mum nowadays?

Still dead, but thanks for asking. I was just starting to get over her death...

__________________
I'M NEVER COMING BACK TO THESE FORUMS... BOOHOOHOO

OH WAIT...I'M BACK

Posted by Neversoft on 12-18-2008 05:58 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Gimp Mask
Still dead, but thanks for asking. I was just starting to get over her death...

Hopefully the harrowing images of her bloodstained and cum-covered corpse will haunt your dreams till the day you die.

Posted by The CandyMan on 12-18-2008 06:02 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Hopefully the harrowing images of her bloodstained and cum-covered corpse will haunt your dreams till the day you die.

What images? Pretty sure she's propped up in the back room or closet so he can bring her out for "Family Night" every once in awhile.

__________________

Posted by Avenue_1 on 12-18-2008 07:02 PM:

So much for being in the Christmas spirit you bastards

You're going to hell for that...both of you.

__________________
I'M NEVER COMING BACK TO THESE FORUMS... BOOHOOHOO

OH WAIT...I'M BACK

Posted by ZootedLooter on 01-02-2009 12:24 AM:

help me dahling

ok,as u know im technicly impaired.i cant find an "adult balloon" twisting site to save my life ..
help me please since clowns in corsets have a hard time doing chaplin routines.
k.k

Posted by Vampire on 01-02-2009 01:18 AM:

Re: help me dahling

quote:
Originally posted by ZootedLooter
ok,as u know im technicly impaired.i cant find an "adult balloon" twisting site to save my life ..
help me please since clowns in corsets have a hard time doing chaplin routines.
k.k

I have a PDF that may fit the bill - PM me for more details.

__________________
Rectum? Damn near killed him!

Posted by ZootedLooter on 01-02-2009 03:16 AM:

Re: Re: help me dahling

quote:
Originally posted by Vampire
I have a PDF that may fit the bill - PM me for more details.

Posted by cobalt on 01-14-2009 09:26 AM:

This muppet's plan didn't quite come together towards the end...

My question is, assuming you have a standard two seater aircraft and at standard altitude (2000-5000 feet maybe?) you simply let go of all the controls (without using autopilot), how long would you have before the plane

A) Crashes?
B) Starts falling in a way where you cannot make it out of the plane?

Posted by Neversoft on 01-15-2009 02:55 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by cobalt
This muppet's plan didn't quite come together towards the end...

My question is, assuming you have a standard two seater aircraft and at standard altitude (2000-5000 feet maybe?) you simply let go of all the controls (without using autopilot), how long would you have before the plane

A) Crashes?
B) Starts falling in a way where you cannot make it out of the plane?

This one isn't really possible to answer. You can find references to other planes (such as JFK Jnr's) that crashed from an altitude of about 5000 feet within a couple of minutes but otherwise it comes down to aerodynamic drag and how quickly the plane reaches terminal velocity (which will also be affected by factors such as "are the engines still running?" "is it nose-down or in a flat spin?"). If it's nose-down with the engines running you aint gonna get much change out of two minutes.

As for when it becomes impossible to parachute out; Yet again it depends on how the plane is falling. Assuming you can jump out, you need to jump out before the last 1500 feet as most main parachutes take 600 to 1200 feet to open. The reserve parachute can open in less than 400 feet but you still have to be slowed... As such the reserve parachute absolute minimum would be around 700 feet.

Posted by madd on 02-28-2009 07:26 PM:

why did my thread on firefox add ons get moved from GC?
i posted there hoping for more replies
thanks

__________________

Be nice to NOOBS.
You were one once.

Posted by Vampire on 02-28-2009 09:28 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by madd
why did my thread on firefox add ons get moved from GC?
i posted there hoping for more replies
thanks

Your question was computer related which means it belongs in the computer sub-forum.

By your own admission, you posted in the wrong area to try and give your thread more visibility. If everybody did that, there'd be no point in the sub-forums. We've rationalised them as best we can to keep them fairly busy and we need people to continue to use them if they are to get busier.

__________________
Rectum? Damn near killed him!

Posted by Neversoft on 03-02-2009 05:06 PM:

^What he said

But yeah, I trimmed the number of sub-forums to make them a bit busier and more generalised so your thread will get spotted there... Honest! More to the point we have "specialist" members who tend to post in those forums more than they do in GD.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by davidbrent on 03-10-2009 08:38 PM:

Im after the gun and till sample from M.I.A Paper planes,

Im guessing she stole the sample so im guessing it's ok for this ask...

Posted by Neversoft on 03-10-2009 10:51 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by davidbrent
Im after the gun and till sample from M.I.A Paper planes,

Im guessing she stole the sample so im guessing it's ok for this ask...

Just open the MP3 into a sample editor and snip the bastard, it's played "in the clear" several times in the song so it should be easy to isolate... As far as I can see nobody has posted em online and it would be illegal (maybe) for me to post them here

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by punzada on 03-10-2009 11:11 PM:

Neversoft,

I have no job, and no money. I kind of need both. I'm a giant unix/linux geek with a few certs and an unfinished (therefore lack of) college degree. Is my future set to climb the ladders of the fast food market or are there other opportunities I should try and find?

Posted by Neversoft on 03-10-2009 11:55 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by punzada
Neversoft,

I have no job, and no money. I kind of need both. I'm a giant unix/linux geek with a few certs and an unfinished (therefore lack of) college degree. Is my future set to climb the ladders of the fast food market or are there other opportunities I should try and find?

You could do what I did... My background was in programming but 9 years ago I moved into PC tech support but just the "numpty" stuff and worked up from there - nowadays I'm an enterprise admin on a huge network and earning a decent salary. Sure, working on technical helpdesks is hell but once you move away from the helpdesk to the back-end support desks you don't often deal with people over the phone. Agencies are also a pretty good way to get your foot in the door cos companies taking agency staff have less to lose and therefore are less likely to vet applicants based on qualifications (and often it's the agency doing the vetting anyway).

So yeah, look for a lowly tech support job and work up or join an agency. I suspect you'll have better luck with an agency though, I doubt many companies are employing right now

For what it's worth, my qualifications are mostly shit but it doesn't stop me from being allowed to run amok on networks - I just had to wait a couple of years first

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by madd on 04-10-2009 09:32 PM:

why does my dick go wrong and piss to the side sometimes???

__________________

Be nice to NOOBS.
You were one once.

Posted by gezzer on 04-11-2009 12:26 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by madd
why does my dick go wrong and piss to the side sometimes???

Most pointless post ever?

__________________
When your in a hole put down the shovel.

Posted by ntscuser on 04-11-2009 02:54 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by gezzer
Most pointless post ever?

No, it happens to me sometimes. You think you've pissed in a straight line but look down and see a puddle on the floor. It seems to go in two directions at the same time so whichever stream you aim properly, the other misses the bowl completely.

What is this forum for if not to answer serious questions like this? How come all those personal problem pages never discuss it?

Posted by valvehead on 04-13-2009 04:10 PM:

Is there a way to turn on folder sizes in windows, like how it shows sizes for individual files?

Posted by Neversoft on 04-14-2009 06:09 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by madd
why does my dick go wrong and piss to the side sometimes???

Soooooo many factors can influence this...

1. Do you have a hardon? Consider yourself lucky you haven't piss-douched your nose.
2. Have you recently had a hardon or shot your load? You could be pissing through a wall of clotted spunk.
3. Do you still have foreskin? Direct the bastard like a fire hose.

Give your cock a shake before you commence to iron out any kinks in the pipes as well. Either that or sit down like those stinking obese people do (not recommended if you've got a hardon, that cold porcelain is a bitch!).

Oh, and it's NOT COOL to piss all over the toilet seat and leave it for your missus to find, but it IS funny

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Neversoft on 04-14-2009 06:28 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by valvehead
Is there a way to turn on folder sizes in windows, like how it shows sizes for individual files?

What you need you delicious bitch is... This.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Objectivist Seal Hunter on 04-15-2009 01:11 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
What you need you delicious bitch is... This.

Nifty. <3

__________________
I'm gay. <3 <3 <3

Posted by valvehead on 04-16-2009 05:11 PM:

That's what I was after, thanks
Why doesn't windows come pre-installed with handy shit like that.

Posted by Neversoft on 04-21-2009 05:49 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by valvehead
That's what I was after, thanks
Why doesn't windows come pre-installed with handy shit like that.

In theory it's probably because of the extra drive "churn" when you go into a folder in Explorer as Windows dives into each sub-folder to calculate the size. Imagine the time it would take if a folder had 200 sub folders with 200 files in each to simply get a list in Explorer. Most people aren't prepared for that (albeit short) delay when reading a folders contents, especially as most people (myself included) tend not to give much of a shit about folder sizes and if we do a simple right-click>properties does the trick anyway. It's not the sort of thing that can easily be indexed/cached either to speed up the processing time cos obviously folder contents constantly change.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by David Cameron on 04-23-2009 07:18 AM:

Lets see if you will compromise the integrity of this thread with your own stubborness.

My question is this.

Is the slumdog millionaire kid for sale story true? If you don't have a definitive answer, could you at least let us know the probability of the story being true (as a percentage).

Thankyou Sir.

Posted by Neversoft on 04-23-2009 12:20 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Jingofin
Lets see if you will compromise the integrity of this thread with your own stubborness.

My question is this.

Is the slumdog millionaire kid for sale story true? If you don't have a definitive answer, could you at least let us know the probability of the story being true (as a percentage).

Thankyou Sir.

Well, after reading some follow-up articles from sources that aren't the News of the World it sounds more like a setup by the NotW to create a story. The father gave quite a lengthy explanation of what happened to the BBC and to be honest, despite him probably having never heard of the NotW in the past he seems to describe their modus operandi for news gathering. Personally, I don't think it's true but I'll concede that there's a 50% chance of "some" of it being true - the father seems to imply that he was lured with the promise of money but left when it became clear they were wanting to buy his daughter.

Oh, and you spelt "stubborness" wrong, it's two N's

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by madd on 04-29-2009 07:05 PM:

is / was there a prank sweet that turns your piss blue???. ive heard there was but cant be sure
if they are real could you find a place that sells them online plz

__________________

Be nice to NOOBS.
You were one once.

Posted by Mother on 04-30-2009 08:54 AM:

I once drank so many "blue bols" based cocktails that it turned my shit green.

Posted by Neversoft on 05-01-2009 01:11 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by madd
is / was there a prank sweet that turns your piss blue???. ive heard there was but cant be sure
if they are real could you find a place that sells them online plz

Your best bets are:

- Methylene Blue: Used for treating Malaria and various other things such as Fin Rot). Give you blue piss.

- Phenazopyridine: Painkiller for urinary infections. Gives you orange/red piss.

- Food colouring.

- Massive quantities of Beetroot.

I don't think there's any over the counter "joke" products that do it though but Methylene Blue and Phenazopyridine aren't *that* hard to obtain... Although how you get somebody to ingest those without realising is anybody's guess

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Avenue_1 on 05-02-2009 08:09 PM:

Dear sexy arse,

Do you know of any UK online retailer (found a US shop but would prefer a UK one) that sells everclear grain alcohol?

Forever Yours,

Trollbot.

Posted by Avenue_1 on 05-06-2009 09:00 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1
Dear sexy arse,

Do you know of any UK online retailer (found a US shop but would prefer a UK one) that sells everclear grain alcohol?

Forever Yours,

Trollbot.

Bumpity bump

Posted by Neversoft on 05-07-2009 07:31 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1
Dear sexy arse,

Do you know of any UK online retailer (found a US shop but would prefer a UK one) that sells everclear grain alcohol?

Forever Yours,

Trollbot.

You'll struggle to get it into the UK, Custom's like to seize it especially as the Everclear 190 is apparently illegal over here. I cannot find any online retailers doing Everclear 151 either but I have noticed numerous online posts recommending "Spirytus Rektyfikowany" as an excellent (and legal) alternative: http://www.thedrinkshop.com/product...php?prodid=1521

So my advice is to go for the Polish stuff and forget about trying to sneak Everclear under the radar cos Customs will 'av it

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Avenue_1 on 05-07-2009 08:14 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
You'll struggle to get it into the UK, Custom's like to seize it especially as the Everclear 190 is apparently illegal over here. I cannot find any online retailers doing Everclear 151 either but I have noticed numerous online posts recommending "Spirytus Rektyfikowany" as an excellent (and legal) alternative: http://www.thedrinkshop.com/product...php?prodid=1521

So my advice is to go for the Polish stuff and forget about trying to sneak Everclear under the radar cos Customs will 'av it

Cheers lad.

Straight peg400 suspension it is then

Posted by wob on 05-08-2009 02:26 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1
Cheers lad.

Straight peg400 suspension it is then

this is main ingredient of Methamphetamine ffs

Avenue used to look like this neversoft

this is him now neversoft after 3 weeks on meths

please neversoft can you delete that nfo you give him

Posted by kimjongli on 05-12-2009 05:21 AM:

Dear Neversoft, I am completely in love with a lesbian. We have a daughter together and are currently living together. Recently she has started hanging out with another lesbian who keeps making comments about taking my role in my daughters life. Who do I need to kill in order to fix things and get them back to normal? I've been over this several times in my head and am leaning towards mass murder and suicide but try and make it look like I was a victim. What do you think?

Posted by David Cameron on 05-12-2009 08:08 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by kimjongli
Who do I need to kill in order to fix things?

Yourself.

Consider the benefits. Your wife will be happy, her lesbian lover will be happy, there will be more woman on woman loving in the world, your daughters might grow up to be lesbians, I might meet them when they are older, I might get a hot threesome with 2 lesbian sisters, I might even meet your wife and her lover and get a threesome with them, I could spill my man juice all over the bed that you probably paid for, I could accidentally stumble naked into your daughters bedroom after smashing ur wifes arse open and give your daughters an early look at the goods they will be chowing down on in a few years.

So, in summary. Top yourself, film it and get one of your soon to be lesbian daughters to put it on You Tube.

Posted by Neversoft on 05-12-2009 01:55 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by kimjongli
Dear Neversoft, I am completely in love with a lesbian. We have a daughter together and are currently living together. Recently she has started hanging out with another lesbian who keeps making comments about taking my role in my daughters life. Who do I need to kill in order to fix things and get them back to normal? I've been over this several times in my head and am leaning towards mass murder and suicide but try and make it look like I was a victim. What do you think?

I take it you're still in love with the missus but she prefers hair pie now? Firstly, it's unlikely this new dungaree advocate will be able to fill your role (or hole), she wants to replace you but you'll always be packing a dick, which makes you better. You didn't say how old the kid was but I doubt they'd respond well to some man-hating monster with tits and a moustache telling them what to do. Therefore I don't think murder/suicide is the way forward, take the moral high ground... Make sure you're a good dad, try not to molest your kids and make repeated disparaging remarks about Ellen Degeneres to whoever will listen. Hopefully your love wont forever be unrequited and your ex will see that she's riding a one-way rocket dildo to hell and damnation and come back to you - hopefully with a few new "lesbo tricks" and a new found penchant for threesomes.

GOOD LUCK!

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by wosp on 05-12-2009 11:25 PM:

Neversoft,

Why is it impossible (or nearly impossible) to come when buzzing out on MDMA/ecstacy? I could be smashing Jessica Alba up the wrong 'un and it would still be a mission. Anyone know what I'm talking about?

Posted by Neversoft on 05-15-2009 05:41 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by wosp
Neversoft,

Why is it impossible (or nearly impossible) to come when buzzing out on MDMA/ecstacy? I could be smashing Jessica Alba up the wrong 'un and it would still be a mission. Anyone know what I'm talking about?

Cos your buzzing your face off so can't "lose" yourself in the moment and empty your nuts? I've had similar with Speed and Coke, you get close then your head goes "Oooh, titties... ego;eoehrgpoehrgouhg!" and you're back to square one.

Just a theory though, any Googling just brings up articles about serotonin, blood flow and "droopy cock" and not what we're talking about which is pretty much the exact opposite.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by wosp on 05-15-2009 06:37 PM:

Yeah get so close then square one. Was wondering if viagra would help but that sounds like a heart attack waiting to happen!

Posted by Neversoft on 05-21-2009 04:53 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by wosp
Yeah get so close then square one. Was wondering if viagra would help but that sounds like a heart attack waiting to happen!

Viagra aint bad and you'd be ok, Cialis is waaaaaay better though (that fucking stuff lasts for days!)

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Objectivist Seal Hunter on 05-22-2009 07:51 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Viagra aint bad and you'd be ok, Cialis is waaaaaay better though (that fucking stuff lasts for days!)

What happens when dude tries this and dies?

__________________
I'm gay. <3 <3 <3

Posted by Avenue_1 on 05-22-2009 10:54 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Objectivist Seal Hunter
What happens when dude tries this and dies?

sort it out

Posted by Neversoft on 05-26-2009 01:47 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Objectivist Seal Hunter
What happens when dude tries this and dies?

Depends... If I find him and he's still warm, one of us gets to cum!

If anybody dies I'll blame it on the illegal drugs and not the knock-off (practically poisonous) Cialis tablet he took

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Objectivist Seal Hunter on 05-27-2009 02:58 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Neversoft
Depends... If I find him and he's still warm, one of us gets to cum!

If anybody dies I'll blame it on the illegal drugs and not the knock-off (practically poisonous) Cialis tablet he took

Exactly what my plan would have been.

__________________
I'm gay. <3 <3 <3

Posted by doctor zoidy on 05-29-2009 04:27 AM:

Here's a question for you, can HIV or other STDs be transmitted between women through shared vibrators? Can HIV exist outside of the body, on other materials?

I'm curious because I've been watching more lesbian porn lately, and in the man/woman performances the guys all wear condoms now, but in woman/woman they don't condom up their tools.

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Dwaggy
Thats alot of words for someone that sells DVDs out of the back of a truck

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1 v3.0b
Read zoidys comment for clarification.

Posted by Neversoft on 05-29-2009 02:00 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by doctor zoidy
Here's a question for you, can HIV or other STDs be transmitted between women through shared vibrators? Can HIV exist outside of the body, on other materials?

I'm curious because I've been watching more lesbian porn lately, and in the man/woman performances the guys all wear condoms now, but in woman/woman they don't condom up their tools.

In short: yes! HIV cannot last for very long outside of the human body, but it can survive for a bit and it's present in pretty much all secretions - oral, vaginal and cervical etc etc so it would be present on the vibrator. So the risk is there but it's minimal.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by ZootedLooter on 05-29-2009 06:54 PM:

why...

why is it when i leave my significant other to his own devices i get pictures like this sent to me?
thanx
k.k.

Posted by Neversoft on 05-30-2009 12:59 PM:

Re: why...

quote:
Originally posted by ZootedLooter
why is it when i leave my significant other to his own devices i get pictures like this sent to me?
thanx
k.k.

It's harmless... This is no joke, I was 18 months old when my parents accidentally got me drunk and it didn't do me any harm! It's a long story but basically involves my parents and grandparents taking it in turns to look after me outside a bar while on holiday. They'd take it in turns and not realise that everybody had the same bright idea which was to dip my dummy/pacifier in booze and stick it in my mouth to keep me quiet - several hours of that and I was fucked

To answer your question though... Because your friends can spot a great photo when they see one

ZL knows the score, he's training that kid to be "a mans man" (and I don't mean a faggot, we have forum members who specialise in grooming for that) and he can't do it when his mum is around worrying about girlie stuff like "child welfare" or "liver damage". Seriously, give it 10 years and that son of yours will be the coolest alcoholic in school and if he's really really lucky he'll grow up to be just like me

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Avenue_1 on 05-30-2009 01:31 PM:

ZL looks like an ugly prince william lollll.

And KK, give him a decent meal ffs!

Posted by ZootedLooter on 05-30-2009 02:06 PM:

bah....that was a bad drunken pic....i changed it to a better one

and ave i could go bite for bite with you anytime in an eating contest and youd never keep up with a skinny prick like me....its just that my metabolism is faster than a little boy running from candymans chocolate bait shop

and also its a good thing she never saw this one

Posted by Ian uk on 06-02-2009 07:21 PM:

Why are Nazi guards always deaf and look the other way when George Peppard creeps up on them?

Posted by Neversoft on 06-03-2009 11:40 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Ian uk
Why are Nazi guards always deaf and look the other way when George Peppard creeps up on them?

George Peppard didn't do much with Nazi's in it... Tobruk and Blue Max and that's about it. It's not something specific to George Peppard, all movie Nazi's could be confused or defeated by the most rudimentary means - Even by something as mundane as a "Karate chop" across the shoulders (it doesn't work, I tried it on my Mum). It's unfortunate that real Nazi's couldn't be defeated quite so easily, the Second World War would have been a lot funnier.

George Peppard didn't have any specific anti-Nazi skills, although it was once rumoured that that he could disembowel a man using nothing but a large cigar.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by takwhori on 06-07-2009 05:01 AM:

MAME

I've downloaded some chd files from newsgroups but you need zip files to use in conjunction with them.

why don't the fuckers post the 2 together?

Feel free to bring Arthur in on this one.

__________________
WINNER OF THE 2008/9 VCDQUALITY DRUNKEN SHIT-POSTING COMPETITION IN THE INANE RAMBLING CATEGORY

Posted by Objectivist Seal Hunter on 06-08-2009 12:49 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by takwhori
MAME

I've downloaded some chd files from newsgroups but you need zip files to use in conjunction with them.

why don't the fuckers post the 2 together?

Feel free to bring Arthur in on this one.

Not sure, but they are easy to find.

__________________
I'm gay. <3 <3 <3

Posted by Neversoft on 06-08-2009 02:07 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by takwhori
MAME

I've downloaded some chd files from newsgroups but you need zip files to use in conjunction with them.

why don't the fuckers post the 2 together?

Feel free to bring Arthur in on this one.

Cos Mame doesn't "use" the two together, it treats em separately. If they were archived together you'd get morons who don't realise they need unraring to use them. Also, Mame collectors are a bit anal, they were probably worried about some copyright bullshit

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by Avenue_1 on 06-08-2009 04:44 PM:

Why is Munson such a cockhead?

__________________
I'M NEVER COMING BACK TO THESE FORUMS... BOOHOOHOO

OH WAIT...I'M BACK

Posted by Neversoft on 06-08-2009 04:52 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Avenue_1
Why is Munson such a cockhead?

He's trying to fit in.

__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Posted by ZootedLooter on 06-09-2009 03:19 AM:

with a big head like that im suprised it fits anywhere...as a matter of fact...i bet his mom couldnt walk for a month after she spit him out

Posted by Neversoft on 06-09-2009 04:28 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by ZootedLooter
with a big head like that im suprised it fits anywhere...as a matter of fact...i bet his mom couldnt walk for a month after she spit him out

She couldn't walk for a month after I'd finished with her and she NEVER spits...

Click this to complete this post

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Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

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