Steven Seagal is one of the Worst/Best Action Star Actors in Hollywood today, he inherited the "Chuck Norris" syndrome, making bad movie after another and in his newest action film,Half Past Dead, he continues his streak of making bad films.

The movie stars Ja Rule and Steven Seagal as prisoners in the new Alcatraz prison, where no one will get off the new prisons. They have the usual prison arguments with the overweight, out of shape prison guards, but when a Criminal Mastermind, played by Boys in the Hood's Morris Chestbut infiltrates the prison to find $200 Million of gold hidden by one of the residents of the new Alcatraz, Ja Rule and Seagal lead the revolts against the bad guys.

First off let me say this, the movie, besides the action sequences were below sub par, and should be avoided at all costs.

Half Past Dead is one of the worst Seagal movies he has ever made.

Half Past Dead is rated PG13 for language and violence.

Plot: 2 out of 10
Action: 7 out of 10
Overall (Movie): 4.5 out of 10
Movie gets a D

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Last edited by MovieGod on 11-15-2002 at 07:30 AM

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Thanks for the review MG. I hate Steven Segal movies, they're shit and your review has kept up my belief that they still are.

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Steven Segal has this move that i like to imitate..

Too bad it does not work in real life, but it sure gets laughs

/me waves open fist hand in a awkward vertical fashion

Strange, normally the bad guys fly 2-3 meters when they get hit by that!

maybe i need a pony tail or a leather jacket for it to work

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i have sigs off

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I've always been a fan of Steven, even though he sucks at acting. When I was in taking akido around 5-6 years ago, I was surprised to see him sinsea(sp?) a few of the classes a year. I was younger, and loved his stuff; but he was a big dick all and all, this movie rock0rez!!!!!

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I'm sure MovieGod is a great guy, and has this dope access to film screenings, but is he ever going to review a film with any more detail than is given in the 3 line synopsis or the trailer? I mean, he doesn't even get that right, often enough. Giving a summary and then an opinion of how good or bad it is doesn't count as a review in my book. If this is all it takes to be a professional movie critic in Hawaii, I'm moving. If MovieGod has really seen TTT I'm sure he'll divulge a few more interesting snippets that *aren't* in any currently released material for us. He'd seen Harry Potter and yet couldn't even comment on the new characters, what bits were done well, badly or missed out, or even get the name of one of the most prominent characters right. Call me a doubter if you will, but I'm absolutely sure I could write more convincing and informative reviews of unreleased films than this, though I make no claim to having seen them. I really don't understand why so many people kiss his ass for his reviews. I get more info about these films off cerial boxes.

I have used the third person since this is a prompt for discussion rather than a personal attack on MovieGod. He'll say he's seen the films, I'll say he hasn't, so there's no point going down that road.

- Jimmni

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I'd touch on this is because I don't usually give away more than necessary. My bosses at my radio station only want Snippets of films in my reviews, what I think of the movie and so forth.

But if you want to break in to the Movie Critic business, please do so, the more the merrier I say.

I have been doing this for the past eight years, and never once has my critiquing been critized.

As for the new characters in Harry Potter, yes you are right, there quite a few new characters in the new Harry Potter movie, Draco Malfoy's father, actor Kenneth Brannagh, who plays the new professor, I thought he was quite good, but the only shameful part I thought was they didn't utilize the full talents of John Cleese, who played the nearly headless Nick in the first movie, all I can say is the first 90 minutes of the Chamber of Secrets had more action than a lot of the Sorcerors Stone, and the movie was much better than the book.

I choose to give only the tidbits, its because one, I don't get paid for posting my reviews here. I do on my other site, and get my usual, or how do I get this movie or that movie PM's.

I appreciate all comments I see on here, and if you want a more in depth review, I can provide one for you, but unlike other people, I don't want to spoil it for people who still want to see the movie.

So if anyone is to blame for my lack of depth on my reviews, blame my bosses at the radio station I work for.

I have long worked hard to kiss the right ass to be where I am today. So if you want to be a movie critic, you need to start puckering up.

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http://www.vcdquality.com/forum/sho...ghlight=swimfan

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One time, my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall so the whole fiasco wound up on the news, it was embarrassing for my relatives and all, but the next week he did it again, different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room! So I run into him a week later in the mall and he’s buying another cat and I says to ‘em "Jesus Walt, what are you doing? You know your just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too, why don’t you knock it off?" And he says to me "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy....

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quote:

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Originally posted by MovieGod


But if you want to break in to the Movie Critic business, please do so, the more the merrier I say.

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Wish I could be a Movie Critic ... BTW, how do you go about becoming a movie critic? .

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same way you become elite in the scene, make friends with the right people and see where it takes you, just be yourself

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quote:

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Originally posted by mathbob6
same way you become elite in the scene, make friends with the right people and see where it takes you, just be yourself

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And how do you know I'm in the scene? .

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quote:

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Originally posted by svenbob
http://www.vcdquality.com/forum/sho...ghlight=swimfan

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So what do you say MG? How does one get into the movie reviewing biz?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Jimmni
I'm sure MovieGod is a great guy, and has this dope access to film screenings, but is he ever going to review a film with any more detail than is given in the 3 line synopsis or the trailer?

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MG, HOW BAD is JaRules acting? He only had like ONE line in The Fast and the FUrious, and even blew that..I can't even imagine how he does as a lead role...geez

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quote:

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Originally posted by KayDawg
MG, HOW BAD is JaRules acting? He only had like ONE line in The Fast and the FUrious, and even blew that..I can't even imagine how he does as a lead role...geez

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Maybe i've been sleeping too much lately, but I actually liked this film - seemed very different from the usual segal guff and more like an easy to watch action movie... saying that though, i did like the last van damme film too...



-D

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quote:

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Originally posted by ddmf
Maybe i've been sleeping too much lately, but I actually liked this film - seemed very different from the usual segal guff and more like an easy to watch action movie... saying that though, i did like the last van damme film too...



-D

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quote:

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Originally posted by Jimmni
I'm sure MovieGod is a great guy, and has this dope access to film screenings, but is he ever going to review a film with any more detail than is given in the 3 line synopsis or the trailer? I mean, he doesn't even get that right, often enough. Giving a summary and then an opinion of how good or bad it is doesn't count as a review in my book. If this is all it takes to be a professional movie critic in Hawaii, I'm moving. If MovieGod has really seen TTT I'm sure he'll divulge a few more interesting snippets that *aren't* in any currently released material for us. He'd seen Harry Potter and yet couldn't even comment on the new characters, what bits were done well, badly or missed out, or even get the name of one of the most prominent characters right. Call me a doubter if you will, but I'm absolutely sure I could write more convincing and informative reviews of unreleased films than this, though I make no claim to having seen them. I really don't understand why so many people kiss his ass for his reviews. I get more info about these films off cerial boxes.

I have used the third person since this is a prompt for discussion rather than a personal attack on MovieGod. He'll say he's seen the films, I'll say he hasn't, so there's no point going down that road.

- Jimmni

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