pHo
Oct 2001
 pjeer?
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Review: Charlies Angels Full Throttle (2003)
see how i got the name right? i rock. i could've typed charlies angels 2, but that was too easy!
anyway, been slating this a while now due to the fact i refused to watch the original on its "borrowing" of bullet time. looked incredibly cheesy and i had no want to see it.
but i got bored, so i watched the sequel.
hmm.
it has some excellent direction, altho that seemed to die out fairly early on. the opening stunt with the chopper is very nicely done, even if the actual idea of it is totally ludicrous, but its the bikes scene that blew me away. very much in the same way that blue crush's underwater photography saved it, this is the same here.
but alas, theres so many things wrong with this movie i dont know where to start.
ok, how about on an odd note.. the soundtrack. guys, its not the 90s anymore, do we REALLY need rage against the machine, lots of prodigy and even irene cara's What a Feeling (main theme from the 80s chick dance flick 'Flashdance') ? the answer is obviously "no". back in the late 90s this would've been a cliched action soundtrack, now its an outdated cliched action soundtrack, and quite possibly the worst OST i've ever had the misfortune to hear.
next.. cameos. whist i think cameos and famous actors popping up in minor roles can be refreshing and fun, do we REALLY need this amount? ok, for a start we have john cleese in the movie for several lines (and providing the only slight comic relief of the entire thing) matt leblanc basically playing joey, luke wilson (old school) as unneeded subplot boyfriend #1, robert patrick as random government guy #2, demi moore as ex-angel #4, etc etc. ie lots of famous people playing b-role parts for no reason at all. only person who's really needed is bernie mac, as politically correct only black person in entire movie #1of1.
then... subplots. there seems to be so many subplots getting in the way of the real plot , you forget what the movie is actually about. it seems the writers kinda forgot what the movie is about too, and i got bored of what was actually going on, and just wanted the next cool camera work to come into play. i didn't really give two damns about the girls boyfriends and stuff, this is supposed to be an action movie...
or is it? you see, the next major problem is it doesn't know WHAT it wants to be. you think it wants to be an action movie until you realise its so over the top, that theres no way you're supposed to take this seriously... so a comedy? nope, its simply not funny, and im not sure if its even trying to. chick flick? quite probably. y'see whilst diaz/barrymore/liu work fine in a "girl a gets dumped and girls b and c take her to a club to meet a new guy, who in turn dates girl a for a bet... " etc type movie.. as action heros? i dont think so. for the entire time of the film, you're thinkin to yourself "diaz would be crying in a heap on the floor right now" rather than seeing her fly across the screen kicking ass, screaming in a girly way for the 90th time in 5 minutes. so the only people this can be possibly aimed for are those girls who think there needs to be more girly action heroes. but of course michelle yeoh, linda hamilton, sigourney weaver and cynthia rothcock are too realistic hardened females, so they have to send the make up club in instead, and it just looks a lil bit too silly for me.
its a shame, as McG shows with the right script, he could've made a good action film. if you want action and comedy go watch True Lies, arnie certainly looks the part of a tough guy (even if he's not the smartest brick on the block) and theres decent enough humour rolled off the supporting cast, and with a sequel due soon, it might turn out to be everything Full Throttle wasn't. rather than making a movie that relies too much on 70s kitsch, stealing bullet time (which is still overused in EXACTLY the same way as matrix did it, sigh.. ) bad casting, no plots and awful soundtracks, lets hope he's given a script that will prove this guy really can make a good film.
5/10. so average and recycled it hurts, but with moments that prove it wasn't a total waste of your time.
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