So, new job I'm going for needs me to drug test, problem is as soon as 4 days ago I got baked out of my skull (good idea punzada!)

So, to the fellow fools out there (and let's for once not try this into a legalization vs. 'dumb burnout' thread) who like to tinker with the illegals from time to time, have you been drug tested? things you've used to pass the drug test? Any buyable solutions at local head shops that have actually worked for you? horror stories of things not working? If you have drug test story, share it!

It's not some over the counter pop test they're trying to do to me either, have to drive to this lab for them to test, thinking I may just have to pass at this opportunity and look for something else in the mean time (i'd give up the shit for scare of future tests, I'd rather be employed right now then stoned, this first one that I have to complete within 48 hours though I can't avoid).

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If you're skinny, drink as much water and/or Cranberry juice as you can between now and the test and you might be in luck... If you're fat, you're fucked unless you use somebody else's piss (remember to keep it warm and I'd advise using a non-drug-abusing male relative, lest you come back as pregnant or worse)

... if they want a hair sample, you're screwed.

This might be of use as well: http://www.detoks.com/page_instruct...-drug-test.html

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quote:

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Originally posted by Neversoft
If you're skinny, drink as much water and/or Cranberry juice as you can between now and the test and you might be in luck... If you're fat, you're fucked unless you use somebody else's piss (remember to keep it warm and I'd advise using a non-drug-abusing male relative, lest you come back as pregnant or worse)

... if they want a hair sample, you're screwed.

This might be of use as well: http://www.detoks.com/page_instruct...-drug-test.html

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claim you were spiked worked for me

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quote:

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Originally posted by Neversoft
If you're skinny

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zooted adj : 1. under influence of drugs: relaxed, excited, or euphoric from taking illegal drugs, especially marijuana ( slang ) 2. intoxicated: very intoxicated ( informal )
looter n. : someone who takes spoils or plunder (as in war) [syn: plunderer, pillager, spoiler, despoiler, raider, freebooter]

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Use your own piss but dilute it with water and ammonia. If you have to give the sample on site, stick it in a tied off condom, strap it to your Y-fronts and pin prick it when giving the sample.

Blood sample - Fucked
Hair sample - Fucked

Lay of the weed you fucking dropout.

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quote:

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Originally posted by cupidstunt
Lay of the weed you fucking dropout.

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WELL SAID! After all, you manage to be retarded without the aid of drugs... Lead by example Cupid

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Am I the only one on this forum who's in there late 20's and never smoked weed, or tried any other illegal drugs in my life?

Fucking loser, Stay off the drugs.

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quote:

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Originally posted by parasiticgannon
Am I the only one on this forum who's in there late 20's and never smoked weed, or tried any other illegal drugs in my life?

Fucking loser, Stay off the drugs.

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quote:

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Originally posted by parasiticgannon
Am I the only one on this forum who's in their late 20's and never ate cakes, or tried any other sugary high cal foods in my life?

Fucking loser, stay off the Big Macs.

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quote:

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Originally posted by cupidstunt

Lay of the weed you fucking dropout.

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dont tell them that....thatll turn them off to you for good....tell them you have a family emergency and have to leave town for a few weeks

also chances are if you have only smoked a little bit and you are not a regular smoker...itll dissapate in your system alot faster than the required 4 weeks....might just be worth a chance if you can postpone it for another week or so

and para....nice one....looks like you came to a gun fight with a knife

__________________
zooted adj : 1. under influence of drugs: relaxed, excited, or euphoric from taking illegal drugs, especially marijuana ( slang ) 2. intoxicated: very intoxicated ( informal )
looter n. : someone who takes spoils or plunder (as in war) [syn: plunderer, pillager, spoiler, despoiler, raider, freebooter]

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quote:

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Originally posted by ZootedLooter
tell them you have a family emergency and have to leave town for a few weeks

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That's probably the best advice. Saying you've had another/better offer will make them think they're not high on your priorities, reporting any illness will make them wary of what to expect in the future. Having to fly out to care for an injured/unwell family member settled overseas...now that's just about believable and perfectly understandable...

I've heard of using cranberry juice and various other bits and pieces - even eye drops (though I thought that was surrogate roofy, but my mates insist it'll screw the test rather than mask the weed). TBH though I don't believe anything will fool a lab set up, if it did large corps wouldn't pay £100k's to have company wide tests.

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quote:

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Originally posted by baha
We all have our cross to bear. Some of us abuse ourselves with substances that make us lightheaded, laugh a lot, and enjoy movies and sex more. Others have difficulty finding clothes that fit and sweat a lot.

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quote:

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Originally posted by parasiticgannon
Haha, Nice one bro.

I'm proud you learned how to edit a post, It's not my fault your a burnt out, it's not your fault I'm fat either. Haaaaaaa

Punzada if you are already fat, and you smoke weed? Could there be a link there? One of the main reasons I don't smoke weed, I don't want the munchies, plus I'd probaly like it, lol.

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http://www.testclear.com/Powdered-U...OdaBeRctNz6Q8sD{qfM

My mailman and all his pals use this. I spoke to him today, and he basicly said what others have said in this thread. If your fat your screwed, if your thin you have a chance to flush yourself out. I read this before posting it. Comical but he claims it works.

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Ive used those quick flush koolaid type things, and failed.

I would say get someone to piss for you pour it in a well cleaned 2 oz bottle, strap it to your leg for warmth reasons, tried and true for 6 months of court tests. Make sure the person doesnt take pills or anything though, had some numbskulls i knew use some1s with a prescription.

The water and cranberry juice thing can help, but if its not a dipstick test they fail you or find it inconclusive if your water content is too high.

My cousin uses some sort of over the counter diuretic for his parole for 2 years now, without coming up dirty.

Also I think its important to point out that if you are clean and get blazed once, it will be out of failing test range within days, it is only the repeated habitual use which stores up in your system and can take as long as 30-45 days for some to get it out of their system.

I think thats all, hope it helps people, and screw you sober cunts, you just have a different vice, that likely isn't illegal, I don't bag on people for exercising to the extreme, or you and you coffee drinking addicts, or those that have a few glasses of wine or more a night, but maybe that's because I'm a pothead and know there is more to a person than their vices.

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*touche*

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who won't any more...
and who always will.
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there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

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Dilution (by drinking water or cranberry juice) only results in inconclusive results due to guess what.... dilution.

Vinegar results in burnt lips and the same, dilution. I have a friend that did that when I decided to dilute mine with excess water.

Never tried the GNC stuff. If I needed to pass a drug test, I would try that route. Thankfully I haven't smoked in a while, and usually drink instead.

Para's retarded. But we all know that.

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DO NOT DRINK CRANBERRY JUICE!!!!!

the thc stays in your fat cells, and the sugar from the cranberry juice will make it stay in your system longer.

water will work, but you have to drink a lot of water.

best thing to do is go to a smoke shop and buy one of their drinks. price can be anywhere from 30-60 dollars, and it usually taste like crap, but it seems to work pretty good.

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