Hello dearies. You may be aware of my sexy alter-ego who imparts useful advice on any subject in this forum. For years he's answered questions on a myriad of topics and most of the time, didn't fuck it up. Well, now he's wearing a dress and a new psychosis and feels compelled to give out personal advice too:

• Is teenage angst getting you down?
  
• Depressed by premature ejaculation?
  
• Are you unsure what to do with that unsightly wart?
  
• Do your colleagues think you're a cunt?
  
• Do you soil yourself in the presence of an attractive woman?
  
• Do you suffer from peronies disease to the point that you can cum up your own ass?

I CAN HELP!

Obviously I realise that none of you have problems so feel free to post them on behalf of your "friends" instead... I wont judge, I'll do my best to help, even if you sicken me to the core

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My friend confessed that when he was younger he used to dig his mothers soiled panties out of the laundry basket and masturbate while enjoying the aroma. Is this normal, have you done it yourself & Should i slap him or shake his dirty hand?

Yours,

Dave.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Gimp Mask
My friend confessed that when he was younger he used to dig his mothers soiled panties out of the laundry basket and masturbate while enjoying the aroma. Is this normal, have you done it yourself & Should i slap him or shake his dirty hand?

Yours,

Dave.

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Dear Auntie Neversoft,

Like a cunt I have purchased an item off the internet from what purports to be a Uk based website.

On completion of the transaction I discovered they are based in Pasadena.

I paid with my Debit card, they sent me an empty (i-pod touch) box and are not responding to my e-mails.

Do you know where I can buy firearms?

Or failing that how to get my money back?

Thanks for the jumper at xmas btw, it fits perfectly!

Scott.

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Was buying a douche for my ass the way to go, or would an enema/colonic have been more appropriate?

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quote:

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Originally posted by monty23
Dear Auntie Neversoft,

Like a cunt I have purchased an item off the internet from what purports to be a Uk based website.

On completion of the transaction I discovered they are based in Pasadena.

I paid with my Debit card, they sent me an empty (i-pod touch) box and are not responding to my e-mails.

Do you know where I can buy firearms?

Or failing that how to get my money back?

Thanks for the jumper at xmas btw, it fits perfectly!

Scott.

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Wrong thread bitch, this one is for personal problems

quote:

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Originally posted by Objectivist Seal Hunter
Was buying a douche for my ass the way to go, or would an enema/colonic have been more appropriate?

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It depends on what you're trying to achieve... Are you simply cleaning your colon or seeking pleaseure or relief?

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Do you think there is any hope of me finding a good looking girl who isnt totally screwed up in the head? I seem to find that *ALL* good looking women have serious issues and are a bit psycho especially after you sleep with em a few times.

Could it be something in my cum that makes them this way? should i see a doctor?

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quote:

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Originally posted by XXXBoX
Do you think there is any hope of me finding a good looking girl who isnt totally screwed up in the head? I seem to find that *ALL* good looking women have serious issues and are a bit psycho especially after you sleep with em a few times.

Could it be something in my cum that makes them this way? should i see a doctor?

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__________________
I'M NEVER COMING BACK TO THESE FORUMS... BOOHOOHOO

OH WAIT...I'M BACK

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What Gimp said. That or if you're truly desperate pull a Michael Myers and post up outside of an elementary school. Those girls shouldn't be too fucked in the head (psycho yet). LOLobo can tell you more on how to do this, or the best way to go about doing so.

Last edited by OSH on 06-06-2008 at 11:37 PM

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Actually I fuck psycho women too Just out of high school though.

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quote:

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Originally posted by XXXBoX
Do you think there is any hope of me finding a good looking girl who isnt totally screwed up in the head? I seem to find that *ALL* good looking women have serious issues and are a bit psycho especially after you sleep with em a few times.

Could it be something in my cum that makes them this way? should i see a doctor?

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It's only the good looking ones that have issues? I think you'll find that all women exhibit various psychosis but we're used to most of them and are therefore "blind" to them. Good looking women are only different in the sense that they're less inclined to hide their psychosis cos they think you'll put up with it, to counteract this, treat them like shit and if they have any faults (such as a big nose) take the piss out of it. Oh, and call her fat, even if she's a waif

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Dear Auntie Neversoft, is it a bad idea to jerk off before i see my girlfriend?

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Dear Auntie, can i have a glimpse of your baps?

__________________
I'M NEVER COMING BACK TO THESE FORUMS... BOOHOOHOO

OH WAIT...I'M BACK

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quote:

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Originally posted by I don't computer
Dear Auntie Neversoft, is it a bad idea to jerk off before i see my girlfriend?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Gimp Mask
Dear Auntie, can i have a glimpse of your baps?

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Neversoft has attached this image:

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Dear Auntie Neversoft:

I licked my screen, am I a homo?

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Auntie Neversoft,

You must really be getting bored up in here.

here is a question, what will be the winning lottery numbers to the next 649 draw here in canada dated July 5th 2008.

Thank you in advance i have already spent the winnings.

__________________

IRC://IRC.EFNET.NET/VCDQUALITY
IRC://IRC.EFNET.NET/prolifeabortionists
"@Dwaggy · pirates are hella kinky
Avenue_1 · how do u know this?
@Dwaggy · i'm a pirate"

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dear auntie neversoft

i hope you dont mind but i may have arranged some male company for you ( see para's exercise regime thread for more info )

__________________
A Vote for Ave is a Vote for FREEDOM!

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quote:

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Originally posted by LOLobo
Dear Auntie Neversoft:

I licked my screen, am I a homo?

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quote:

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Originally posted by aWe
Auntie Neversoft,

You must really be getting bored up in here.

here is a question, what will be the winning lottery numbers to the next 649 draw here in canada dated July 5th 2008.

Thank you in advance i have already spent the winnings.

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