Got tomorrow/today/Thursday off work so went out with the lads on the piss tonight. First time on a weeknight for a long time.

Weirdest occurence happened, i'm left baffled but oddly satisfied.

I was waiting in line for a taxi at the taxi rank, some dude walked up with his girlfriend, pushed in front of me, right at the front of the queue. He says to me "You don't mind if we go first do you?". Well, yes I do fucking mind, i've been in this queue for 10 minutes, i'm not about to let some cunt push in so I say, thiinking he's joking. "Yes I do mind, haha". He replies something along the lines of "haha, well I don't care if you do mind, i'm getting in the next taxi". For some reason, probably the drink and my misguided trust in the nature of man, I still think he is joking. The next taxi pulls up, this cunt tries to get in it, I kind of half jokingly tell him i'm not going to let him take my taxi and he continues to try and get in. Now forgive me if I am wrong, but me grabbing his hood, pulling him back and punching him square in the fucking nose seems like the most appropriate possible response here, so I oblige. I'm expecting a full on brawl but the cunt who tried to nick my taxi, who is now bleeding profusely from his elongated nose starts shouting out "he hit me in the face, he hit me in the face", he pulls out a card that is supposed to indentify him as a policeman and he tells me if I don't leave immediately he is going to call back up and have me arrested. Wtf...?? I'm so confused.. I jumped in the next taxi and left him bent over a wall nursing his nosebleed.

I'm left with a lot of a questions...

Is every cunt in England a wanker to people they don't know?

Do people prefer to be seen trying to start a fight than actually having one?

Am I likely to be arrested in the morning>?

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q1. No, just you
q2. "as above"
q3. fingers crossed

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There comes a point in your life when you realise;
who matters,
who never did,
who won't any more...
and who always will.
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there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

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Very much doubt you've got any worry about being arrested - he was obviously the cunt in that situation.

Would have been different if you'd just twatted him without the 'reasoning' with him first, despite him being the one who pushed in.


Next time i'm waiting for a bus and an old lady pushes in....i'm doing this.

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Drawing on many episodes of Night Cops, I'd sum up as follows:

Bloke tries to look good in front of his munter/muffin top girlfriend by jumping the taxi queue in much the same way as some cunt will always try to in the Post Office.

You took offence to that and called him out, eventually having to physically assert your rights to a place in the queue.

He pulls out a library card and starts screaming something about citizens arrest, girlfriend walks off to get a kebab.

You get a cab home, and he can't remember much about you because he's crying over his broken snout.

1. Yes, it's standard practice after 11:00PM to treat everyone as a cunt regardless, though this will vary by region.
2. It's always easier to throw the first punch than to take it.
3. No I don't think you'll get arrested.

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You forgot to rape his girlfriend.

Fail.

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real-life violence and blood.

bravo

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stupidcunt = forum hardknock

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Nice one, I fuckin hate queue jumpers, bet he don't do that again in a hurry. You'd have to be pretty unlucky to get busted for that ,chances are the geezer ain't gonna say jack on account of making a twat of himself, (bit like Yoshi with his latest post) WTF's that all about,at least try something leading dumbass.

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I was so drunk last night. I barely remember what happened last night let alone starting this thread about it.

Been in bed all day with a monster hangover, only venturing out to brew big jugs of Tea and stock up on Bacon Sandwiches.

Haven't been arrested... yet.

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you are home nursing a hangover with 2 black eyes and a busted nose....the old lady you tried to skip broke her cane and now you are going to be arrested cause she fell and broke her hip...in a months time the charges will be upgraded to murder.....a busted hip for anyone candymans age and up is a death sentence

but i like the way you tell the story

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zooted adj : 1. under influence of drugs: relaxed, excited, or euphoric from taking illegal drugs, especially marijuana ( slang ) 2. intoxicated: very intoxicated ( informal )
looter n. : someone who takes spoils or plunder (as in war) [syn: plunderer, pillager, spoiler, despoiler, raider, freebooter]

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I'm looking forward to seeing you on crimewatch you cunt!

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Jingofin ,you have issues

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