Yes, ASK ME!! We mod/admin types at VCDQ are often amazed by the complete lack of effort people put into finding shit out before they decide it worthy of a thread on this forum. Therefore I've decided that what this forum needs is an advice column from yours truly.

I specialise in sexual health advice, PC tips and home lobotomy but any subject is valid and welcome.

ASK AWAY!!

N.B. Don't shit-up my advice column with flame wars you bastards!

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Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

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Dear Neversoft,

Occasionally when in work my penis becomes hard for no reason, I find this awkward as sometimes I'm stood at the photocopier or in the kitchen when this happens and have to waddle back to my desk.

Why is this happening?

What do you suggest?

Yours confused,
*********

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<Mr_Grinch> yes. I have aids. Which I got from bumming men.

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Dear Neversoft,

In my current job I dont have a fucking clue as to what I'm meant to be doing.

All I do most of the day is surf the web and look at SomethingAwful.com

However I am being paid a good rate and I kinda did the job they wanted me to do. My question is, how do i spend my days now seeing as I've become a useless but still paid member of this organisation?

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When Blade Runner was re-released theatrically (as the Director's Cut) in 1992/93, did it have a Dolby Digital soundtrack?

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Dear Neversoft.

My parents brought me up to be a good church going Catholic but there's this Icelandic guy at....um....School that makes fun of me and says the whole God thing is a load of shit.

Is he right?......I'm confused and I don't know who to turn to.

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Dear Neversoft,

why do people on forums feal the need to only reply to a post with the sole purpous of picking apart someones post.
99% of the time reading i whole post of over (lets say) 30 lines of text. then only hitting the reply "click" with "you missed an E in that word"

you could post the "Meaning of life" and someone will reply with "you spelt that word wrong" (end post)


But the real question is.
Why wont my Mrs take it up the Dung Funnel ?

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*Meet the rest of the VCDQ Crew, HERE *

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Dear Neversoft,

Why is Grommit handing Wallace a large pink rubber fallus ?

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are there more than 1 question per person ?

I sure hope so, or else that was it


And if there are, here's mine :

- when will I die? how?

if a yes/no question is required (maybe you're just an 8ball) :

- will I ever get laid again ? (by a female)




That is all.

__________________

The Shning - plenty of silly pics - My blog, hosted by BoH

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Dear Neversoft,

Why was the Star Wars Holiday Special created?

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Dear Neversoft,

I was at work, browsing Google videos when I came across a little dog humping another dog. For some reason, that got something stirring down there, so I went to the ladies room and did a quick flick of the clit. When I came back to my desk, I was smiling broadly.

Could my co-workers tell?

__________________
Arf says I'm one of the good ones. Yay!!

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dear neversoft ,

which came first the chicken or the egg ?

__________________
snoochie boochies

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Oh mighty Neversoft, keeper of the knowledge,

Is life a box of chocolates, or a bowl of cherries, and is that why people are getting fatter in this day and age, from enjoying life too much?

signed
Just Another Onion Head

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Dear Neversoft

When are you going to answer all these questions

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Dear Neversoft

Why do you hate freedom

Love, Dwaggy

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i have sigs off

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Dear Neversoft,

is it wrong to think about your own mother or sister while having a good wank?

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ive been feeling sexual desires towards the dora the explorer live theatre actress... my son watches dora the explorer nearly constantly, in fact its the only tv he'll watch...

do you think my sexual fantasies will someday extend to the animated 5 year old, or will i be safe in the live action 20-something year old?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Dwaggy
Thats alot of words for someone that sells DVDs out of the back of a truck

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Last edited by doctor zoidy on 03-21-2006 at 10:49 PM

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Dear Neversoft,

Why do I keep coming back to this forum time and time again knowing it will rot my brain and only lead to insanity?

__________________

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Dear Neversoft,

here are some questions that i always mentally ask myself:

1. How long will it take me for my hair to get really long?

2. Is a 7 inch cock decent? apparently the average is 6!

3. Why is car insurance so fucking expensive? i havent got a car yet but when i do im gonna have to get a job to run the fucker...

4. Do i have any homosexual friends? i fuckin well hope not

5. will i always be a bum?

6. does anyone else think coldplay are amazing?


these questions go through my mind about a million times a day

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quote:

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Originally posted by pHo
the difference between compression and encoding is:

compression software works the same way as trying to get The 404, who is 350lbs, through a normal door. its method is to basically keep kicking The 404 until he gets thru the door. This works quickly, but leaves a nasty mess.

encoding software is the equivalent of The 404 going on a diet and walking thru the door. takes longer and sometimes more skill, but ultimately worth it.

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dear neversoft, can you find me a manual for a sony cdx-m650?

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Last edited by |V|USTANG_FAN on 03-22-2006 at 01:19 AM

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quote:

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Originally posted by White Rabbit
Dear Neversoft,

4. Do i have any homosexual friends? i fuckin well hope not


6. does anyone else think coldplay are amazing?

---

__________________

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