Neversoft
May 2002
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quote:
Originally posted by doctor zoidy
Dear Neversoft,
Many questions stuffed into one post:
1. What is the best country to live in, after accounting for things like personal liberty, monetary wealth, technological availability, and hot women (respectively)?
2. As a pastafarian, our Most Noodly Lord has decreed that Friday is a holiday, akin to the sabbath of the Judeo-Christian religion. Do you think I would have grounds for demanding the day off when i rejoin the army next week?
3. Last night I had a strange bladder/urinary problem. It felt like I had to urinate every 2-3 minutes, and only a slight stream (less than 20 mL) came out each time. I ended up sitting on the toilet reading for about 20 minutes while having short spurts of urine every other minute. Is this a UTI or should I get checked out?
My Son
4a. Doesn't really play with his toys, at all. He plays with his toy vaccuum and broom, sometimes the toy drill, unplugging and pluging composite A/V cables, and a small selection of Dora toys. Does his lack of play indicate a disproportioned sense of creativity to monotonous tasks, and should I worry that he won't truly enjoy his childhood?
4b. Love Dora the Explorer, won't watch anything else. He has dora toys, a backpack, plays with mom's purse, is left handed, and enjoys country music. Is he my son?
4c. Wont take a bath unless I get in the tub with him, won't even bath with mother. When added to his left-handedness and Dora fetish, should I worry about his early sexual orientation?
WOAH! You are a trouble soul aren't you? I'll do my best to help:
1. Somewhere in Scandinavia... Mainly for the hot women, but they're not poor countries either.
2. Feign mental illness, it's easier.
3. It sounds like Cisitis... Drink a large glass of water an hour or so before bed and avoid pissing just after you shot your load.
4a. You don't say how old your son is but I suspect he's a toddler (if he's a teenager, you have problems). I suspect there's either one of two things going off here - either he prefers other forms of entertainment such as TV, therefore you should cut down on the amount of TV he watches or he isn't stimulated enough by his toys, especially if he's particularly intelligent. Try toys that offer a little more "feedback" such as a Zig Zag Zog and educational toys - such as interactive books or a VTech console (the VSmile is particularly good). If you'd prefer not to spend a shitload on new toys, most kids can entertain themselves for hours with little more than a few plastic coins or some crayons and paper. For more information check out anything by a rather genius Brit woman called Dr Tanya Byron and visit (a UK site admittedly) called www.Raisingkids.co.uk
4b. All kids love Dora (and the Backyardigans and Blues Clues) but try and introduce a few "boyish" elements into his viewing... Power Rangers is a good start, followed by the occaisional PG movie that he can watch with you - I know of one kid who loves the movie Zathura simply because the robot makes him jump!
4c. Make bathtime fun! I know I bleat-on about my girlfriends kid but he's the only proper example I have... Get a selection of bath toys and try reverse psychology - on bath night, "threaten" him with not being able to play with his toys in the bath and don't be afraid to get wet when he is having a bath. Be more assertive, tell him he's having a bath, "wont" shouldn't come into it. Don't be worried about left-handedness, even if he turns out to be a murderer or serial rapist (which most left-handed people are) - be understanding and hopefully it wont affect his future power-wanking.
__________________
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.
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04-25-2006 09:49 PM
