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Originally posted by dave00
Dear Neversoft

Recently i broke my left Arm and im unable to Power-Wank I have tried using my right hand but it just dont feel right. Also for my wife its that time of the month and i cant accept handjobs/blow jobs cause this makes me fucking angry that she wont contemplate letting me ride her while shes on the rags. Is there an answer to my dilema? Is it perverted to buy a substitute like a stand in for a while

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quote:

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Originally posted by kimmy
Dear mr neversoft.. i've always wondered why when i do big steaming poo poo i see undigested corn in my poo. why doesnt my bowels completley digest all the corn in my poo poo.. and the next question i've always wondered why whenever you "woof the cookies ' there's always carrots... and i havent had any of these orange cuntys for 6 months.. please explain?? uncle ns

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Sweetcorn has a cellulose hust whick you cannot digest and therefore it "protects" the interior as well. If you chew it thoroughly, it'll get digested with the exception of the skin.

Also, it's not carrot, its bits of your stomach lining... It just looks like carrot

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quote:

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Originally posted by Dwaggy
DEAR NEVERSOFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

HELP MY TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT KEY IS STTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTUCK HOW DO I FIX ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

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dear NeverSoft,

i recently acquire 57 gmaeloft games for my K800i...only they are in .pak format, how do i use them (if its possible)....and if i cant use them...any chance of that 1000 java games you *might* have lying aroudn the place?

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Im The Daddy!

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quote:

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Originally posted by Spank
dear NeverSoft,

i recently acquire 57 gmaeloft games for my K800i...only they are in .pak format, how do i use them (if its possible)....and if i cant use them...any chance of that 1000 java games you *might* have lying aroudn the place?

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Copy them to your memory card then browse to that location on the phone and execute them... They should then install to the phone.

On your second question, some of them are probably copyrighted, so I'd better not

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Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

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Dear Neversoft,
Is there anyway to play n-gage games on a Symbian S60v3 phone, or have there been any releases of this type?

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Originally posted by Neversoft
try thinking of ATI as Christina Aguilera and Nvidia as Christina Aguilera in the "Dirty" video

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Dear NeverSoft,

Is it okay to power wank in a tube sock? I find myself sneaking off into the bathroom, b/c the wife won't allow it, power wanking in socks all the time as of late.

Also, as I am sure you are a seasoned pro, can you offer any tips for my dillema?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Paul Skinback
Dear Neversoft,
Is there anyway to play n-gage games on a Symbian S60v3 phone, or have there been any releases of this type?

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Not as far as my vast intellect knows, no

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quote:

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Originally posted by Pickles
Dear NeverSoft,

Is it okay to power wank in a tube sock? I find myself sneaking off into the bathroom, b/c the wife won't allow it, power wanking in socks all the time as of late.

Also, as I am sure you are a seasoned pro, can you offer any tips for my dillema?

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Dear Neversoft,

Some dickless fucker took the ST badge off of the rear of my Focus last night with a screwdriver leaving a nice groove in the paintwork... and a missing badge, obviously. I have one simple question...

What ruthless form of revenge can you recommend once I find out who did it? I'm thinking along the lines of a cheese grater, their penis and some salt but will welcome any better suggestions.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Vampire
What ruthless form of revenge can you recommend once I find out who did it?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Mystic Slippers
Depends on what you call 'revenge'.

A simple cricket bat to the face revenge or the kind of revenge you'd happily do 25 years for?

Focus ST's are alright, i'd rather have a Civic Type R or save a bit more and get a used TVR.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Vampire
ps. I'd probably have gone for a Civic Type-R but it wasn't on the company car list.

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A Focus ST is still a bloody nice car to have though!

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quote:

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Originally posted by Mystic Slippers
A Focus ST is still a bloody nice car to have though!

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True - although the fact that Kippa is getting one must surely depreciate the value.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Vampire
True - although the fact that Kippa is getting one must surely depreciate the value.

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He's a cunt. Sell it quick.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Vampire
I want to make the motherfucker so scared that they'll shit their pants when it dawns on them what I will do to them.. and then leave it at that.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Vampire
What ruthless form of revenge can you recommend once I find out who did it? I'm thinking along the lines of a cheese grater, their penis and some salt but will welcome any better suggestions.

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I'd recommend going medieval on their arse... Might I suggest "Breaking on the wheel"

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:: problem fixed. carry on

Last edited by ron989 on 10-21-2006 at 11:46 PM

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Sorry this is a bit wordy, but a real moral dilema:

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus...

An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
An old friend who once saved your life.
The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first.
Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back.
However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer.

He simply answered:
"I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations.

Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

HOWEVER, the correct answer is:
Run the old lady over and put her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers.

God, I just love happy endings.

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Neversoft,

Can you suggest the best MP3 to FM transmitter gadget, such as the iTrip, but for use with a non iPod mp3 player in my new car?

Also, is there a way to work out the total cubic feet/meter/miles of air in our atmosphere? No reason really just intrigued.

Cheers


ps. one more thing - is it possible to change my name on this little corner of the internet to include a capital C, so it would be "Cobalt" as apposed to "cobalt"?

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